How's THIS for ESP?

A few months ago, I found an old notebook. (Ah, another old notebook story!) This one wasn't as old, and the story isn't as funny as my last old notebook story. But, wow! This one even stunned the unstunnable Matt.

I found notes for a church activity I was planning with birth announcement sketches interspersed throughout. (I guess the activity planning just got too boring at times.) Mostly there were just shapes where text and pictures would go. But on one page, I had actually written what the text might say—a wild prediction to dream, and to see how it would look when we told the world about our baby.

At this point in time, we did know we were having a girl, and were sure of the first name and sort of deciding on her middle name, but we had not talked induction yet. I was due December 7th. (Seth had been born 8 days before his due date, not induced, and had been 6 pounds 3 ounces, 19 3/4 inches.)

Here is what I had jotted down, staring at us from a page of church notes I'd written while pregnant with a baby we hadn't met yet:

We're delighted to announce the birth of our daughter
Maren Elise Williams
November 24, 2010
6 pounds 1 ounce
19 inches

Um....

She was born on November 24, 2010.

She was 6 pounds 0 ounces.

She was 19 inches long.

:-D

It was a fun—and sort of surreal—thing to find. I think I'll add it to the memory of guessing 2:48 pm as her time of birth, realizing at about 2:15 how silly that had been, then surprisingly giving birth to her at 2:45. Three minutes off! If there had been any way to not deliver her in mere seconds, I think I'd have aimed for a perfect prediction on that one. ;-)

How in the world was I so close on all these stats? [Cue Twilight Zone music!] Kind of fun. When Maren dares to think our symbiosis isn't real, I'll whip these out for her. Hahaha!! (Just kidding. ;-))

Crash and BURN!

When Matt and I got married, the fourth of our nieces and nephews had just been born. Now there are 18 grandkids on the Williams side (two of them aren't quite born yet...but very, very soon!) and 5 on the Golding side.

AND...up until the last couple of months...I'd correctly predicted the sex of every baby but one. What a streak!

Ohhhh...did I crash and burn. Three babies coming, and I missed on two of them. Two! When I'd only missed one in over a dozen babies!

Will I get my groove back? Is my ESP gone forever? Time will tell.... Time will tell.... :)

Here's my record as it currently stands:

Williams #5

Predicted: Boy

Born: Boy

Williams #6

Predicted: Girl

Born: Girl

Williams #7

Predicted: Girl

Born: Girl

Williams #8

Predicted: Girl

Born: Girl

Williams #9/Golding #1 was Seth!
We had always seen ourselves having a girl first, but, Matt is my witness, my official prediction before the big ultrasound was Boy.

Golding #2

Predicted: Boy

Born: Boy

Williams #10

Predicted: Girl

Born: Girl

Williams #11

Predicted: Boy

Born: Boy

Williams #12

No prediction. This awesome boy was adopted. :-)

Williams #13

Predicted: Girl (Even though I think I was the only one guessing girl on this one!)
Born: Girl

Golding #2

Predicted: Boy

Born: Boy

Williams #14

Predicted: Boy

Born: Boy

Are you amazed yet? (I was!!) At this point, I was 100%! That's incredible, right?

Golding #3

Predicted: Boy
Born: GIRL

It was my very first stumble!!

Williams #15/Golding #4 was Maren!

Predicted: Girl
Born: Girl

And here comes my crash and burn.... The three-at-once predictions I made, but only one of them was correct. I'll put them in the order I discovered the accuracy (or not) of my prediction.

Williams #17
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: Girl

Williams #18
Predicted: Girl
Ultrasound: BOY

And shortly after this failed prediction...

Williams #16

Predicted: Boy
Born (last month): GIRL

I just don't know who I am anymore! Sniff! ;-) Twelve correct in a row, but hardly even beating "The Monkey Score"* in the last five.

I'm so happy to have a new niece, though, and another niece and nephew on the way so soon. Oh, babies...! They're just so lovely. I want to go snuggle them all. Congratulations, babies, and congratulations to our brothers and sisters who get to have them in their families. :-) (I love you, babies! Even though I didn't foresee you! :-))

*My dad had a teacher once who would set his computer to take a test before the students did, randomly choosing answers. He called the result "The Monkey Score" (hahaha!), and anyone who couldn't beat the Monkey Score was properly ridiculed. "You'd have been better off just randomly choosing answers!" I think you also got an auto-F if you couldn't beat the Monkey Score. Or maybe I'm just making that up. I love the story so much that sometimes I find myself thinking, if only for a moment, that my dad once had a teacher who would actually get a monkey to take the test.... Hahaha! Who knows what other details I've added. :-)

Beauty: Part Two

This post is going to going to be based upon thoughts from the minds of two men: my husband and...Drew Carey of all people! They have both said things about beauty that made a great impression on me.

I'm married to a man who loathes—loathes—makeup. Some women keep their hair a certain way because their husbands love it, or wear makeup every day so their husbands are proud of how they look. But if I were to base my appearance on what makes my husband happy, I'd throw out all makeup and never put a drop of it on my face. He hates the stuff. I press him on it sometimes, to see how serious he is.... For instance, we might get all dressed up for an event of some kind and, when he sees me, Matt's eyes might do their twinkle-thing as he comments on how nice I look. And I might say something like: "Now, admit it! Aren't you glad I'm wearing makeup right now?" I really think he means it when he says: "You look great tonight, but you'd look even better with no makeup! What's wrong with just...you?!!"

Sometimes he has almost a visceral reaction talking about makeup, like he's really going to start retching right there. Haha! "Ugh.... It's just so...! Ugh!! A face is beautiful! Skin! It's just skin! Why do people need to make it different colors? Why do people need to plaster it? What's with mascara? That's ridiculous! Tar? On your eyelashes? It looks horrible!! Eyelashes are beautiful! Skin is beautiful! Freckles are beautiful! What's wrong with people?"

And, I have to admit.... His point makes sense to me.

Enough sense, at least, to not wear a lot of makeup. ;-)

I still can't resist sometimes smoothing out my complexion a little. Hehe. I'm sorry, Matt! And if I ever find a great mascara that doesn't look like mascara (I like how it opens up the eyes a little more but I hate the fake-eyelash look!) I'm sure I wouldn't be able stop using it, either. :)

I remember watching an old game show hosted by Drew Carey several years ago, and a question came up for the contestant that somehow referenced "ugly people." Drew Carey said something like: "Oh, but there are no ugly people." Which drew a laugh, even from me. He was chagrined it had come off as a joke, stopped everything for a second, and said something to the tune of: "No, really, this is very important to me. I really feel that every person matters and every person is beautiful. And we're all made differently, but every single person is beautiful. There is no ugly. There are no ugly people."

It was almost a spiritual experience for me (obviously, I remember it years later), and I felt properly ashamed for laughing at the idea at first, for not having had this same conviction myself. I felt the truth of what he was saying.

This goes together with Matt's conviction that, wow, a person is beautiful, just how he or she is! Their skin is beautiful because it's them. Makeup? Makeup isn't them. Their normal skin is them, their normal eyes, their normal eyelashes. Those are all you. I want to see you, not makeup. Keep yourself clean and presentable, definitely. And, sure, tweeze those hairs you hate, get a nice haircut, whatever. But covering up you...? You are more beautiful than you plus paint and tar. You are beautiful.

I believe it's true. I especially believe it's true when I see someone with so much makeup on that she looks un-human. We actually see this with much frequency! (Drawn-on eyebrows really go too far. The "smoky" zombie-raccoon eye. Thick mascara.... I get you, Matt! I get why you'd rather see a human face!) I'm working on believing it to the extent that I really feel totally presentable without a little makeup. We'll see if I ever get there.... But, at least, I can go out without it and still feel confidence in myself. My worth is not in the wow-factor of my appearance. Oh please. If it were, even the most stunningly beautiful person would be of very, very little worth. Infinitesimal worth!

Our Heavenly Father must just want to wrap us all up in his arms sometimes and say, wow, do you even realize how beautiful you are, and what that means...? You are a child of the Almighty God. His child. His creation. His love and His joy. You are His! And yet we wake up every morning to put ourselves on display, to draw some attention to some strange idea of beauty.... A beauty that means nothing—less than nothing—compared with the beauty of being a person, a child of God.

I look at pictures of people in other cultures, and I marvel at the beauty. Why are they so incredibly gorgeous?!! One reason is that, ok, they're actually more gorgeous. ;-) But how beautiful is it to look at people through the lens of unfamiliarity and just see...people. Not a body shape or a makeup style or a hairstyle or a dye job. Just people.... Skin. Smiles. Eyes. Hands.

Imagine how beautiful our own culture might be if we just gloried in our personness, and not in our trophiness. If we "loved the skin we're in." :) If hair extensions and bleach and eye tar and smoky eyes were kaput. If we felt, like Matt and Drew Carey, that, wow, people are beautiful! Just look at them, really look at them. They're beautiful!!

It's nice to imagine.

  

Pictures:
1) Camille took this in Guatemala. What a lovely woman this is! Would you put botox in this face? Anyone? (If you would, please don't tell me. My opinion of you could never recover, I'm afraid. :))


2) So, so beautiful. I see this photo, and I totally understand why Matt could explode over the thought of makeup. Can you imagine this woman all made up? Foundation all over that skin, eyeliner around those eyes, three shades of eye shadow, two coats of mascara, lip liner on those lips with a glossy stain, eyebrow pencil to fill in a little.... Oh! Oh! I could die over this thought! Look at that lovely, lovely face! Ok, I've never understood Matt better. I get you, Matt! Maybe I will go throw away all my makeup! 


3) Ditto. :-) People are beautiful.

Dangerous it may be!

I recently found an old spiral-bound notebook from college. It was surreal and kind of fun to flip through it and find notes from lectures I attended in Fall of 1999, remembering some of the classes I enjoyed that semester. Several pages of Hebrew practice! Ahh.... I loved studying Hebrew.

And then....

My eye caught hold of something potentially hilarious. A paper, carefully folded, peeking out of a folder. The exposed part of the paper, as you can see, says: Dangerous it may be

Haha! I was missing some punctuation. What did I mean? Dangerous it may be? I'm intrigued!!

Opening the paper was one of the funnier moments of my life. I SO remember doodling it. And I remember folding it up, and writing the warning: Dangerous! Also, take heed: it MAY be! As in, this is dangerously possible? Also, this is a dangerous thing to contemplate! And a dangerous paper to not burn!!

Inside was my name, doodled over and over and over again, as I often do when I feel like doodling (I have an insatiable desire to doodle sometimes, but no artistic talent, so I sign my name!): Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams.

Doesn't sound too funny. Until you remember....

I was not Auburn Williams.

Yet.

I was not even dating a Williams.

I was best friends with a guy named Matt, who now lived in Korea and would not be back until 2001. Was he in love with me? Absolutely. Had he ever admitted it? Hahaha!! Heavens no. Hahaha!! Had we ever flirted with the idea of dating? No. Not at all. His mission took priority over some crush on each other. But, yes, we were the very best of friends, and I loved him, truly deeply loved him. As a friend. ;-)

And to no one but myself, very, very dangerously, I admitted I had perhaps thought of marrying him. And here, 12 years later, tangible proof shows up in an old box of mine with an old folder in it carrying an old piece of paper with the warning: Dangerous it may be!

Well, what might have been now IS. Unless you count my other doodles....

Our children's names!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

First funny thing:
There were five kids.

HAHAHAHA!!

Second funny thing:
I had their ages written down, and a few of them were only 2 years apart. Oh, how my thoughts changed.... :)

Third through seventh funny things:
The names!

HAHAHAHA!!

Here they are, the names of my theoretical future family with my best friend, in order of birth:

Nathaniel Rulon Williams
(We actually hung on to Nathaniel for a middle name for a long while, it being the Hebrew form of the name Matthew. We never wanted to name a kid after Matt, but this seemed like a wonderful little way to go: great meaning, great language, almost named after his Dad but not really. Rulon is Matt's middle name, so I guess Nathaniel Rulon was my nod to Matt in both names. Rulon has never made a name list other than this one! I was surprised to see it here. :))

Emma Caroline Williams
(This is actually quite lovely. Emma dropped from consideration when it popped up to the #1 name in the country, but it's still so cute. And Caroline was on our shortlist of middle names for a long while. If we had had a little girl in 2003, not that we were trying for one that early but we did have a name list going, her name may well have been Mia Caroline Williams! So, I guess it's funny that I thought of a name back then that actually stuck for a little while.)

Christopher Joseph Williams
(Another goodie! Joseph Christopher and Christopher Joseph made it to our shortlist, actually. Not so sure anymore that we like Chris Williams OR Joseph Williams. In theory, yes....  But then we say it and aren't so sure.)

Jonathan Michael Williams
(This name went the way of all the earth long before Matt and I actually got together.)

and, finally, the really terrible one...
Aria Lynn Williams
(HA! What is that?)

Now, those were just the final names! I have other ideas scribbled around! Christopher Michael Williams. Jonathan Michael Williams.

Then I have the heads of the family:

Matthew and Auburn Williams
Dr. Matthew Williams / Auburn Williams

Then I have my signature practiced: Auburn Williams Auburn Williams Auburn Williams

Then I have poor little Aria's ugly signature practiced: Aria Lynn Williams Aria Lynn Williams

Then I have the kids' names all written together, as if to test out:  could this be a group?

Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria

Then, in cursive:

Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria

I guess I did all this to try to discern or intuit.... Does it feel possible? Hmmm.... Does it?

The answer must have been yes. Because I folded up that paper. Kept it safe. And declared it dangerous. "It may be!!"

Beauty: Part One

Anne: "You little know how utterly wretched I am."

Marilla: "I little know how you got IN to this FIX, but I demand that you tell me."

Anne: "He positively assured me it would turn my hair a beautiful raven black."

Marilla: "Who did? Who are you talking about?"

Anne [choked up]: "The peddler we met on the road today!" [boo hoo hoo!]

Marilla [trying not to laugh]: "Well. I hope this has opened your eyes...to see where your vanity has taken you...."

Do you know this hilarious scene?! (I hope you do!)

It played itself over and over in my mind as I laid in bed, ironically unable to open my eyes. I kept hearing Marilla's voice: "I hope this has opened your eyes...to see where your vanity has taken you!" And then I'd laugh. Or want to.... Not that I otherwise felt much like laughing.

And in case anyone has ever considered a heavy-duty chemical peel on your face...DON'T! Don't consider it! Consider instead the words: chemical; peel; and, face. Together. It's almost as ridiculous as the words "botulinum" and "on purpose." (But not quite.... I mean, come on. Nothing—nothing—not even a butt implant [haha!], is as ridiculous as the #1 most deadly toxin known to man being injected into your face so you can't move it. Seriously, people....) 

When I was offered a free chemical peel, I failed to consider the ridiculousness of the idea. I just heard: free. Hey, why not? It's free! Maybe it's awesome! Sure, it's intentionally burning my face with chemicals. But it's free! Free!!

Here I am at some point during a three-round extravaganza of putting chemicals on my face to BURN my skin off:

Here I am the next day, taking funny pictures to document how incredibly red my face had become:

Little did I know....

I thought it was funny that my face had gotten red [bwahahaha], but day two is when things really blew up. Literally. 

I woke up in the night and realized, oh wow, my face is kind of swelling. 

Took a bunch of ibuprofen. Went back to sleep.

Woke up in the morning...and....

I could hardly open my eyes!! I looked like a gourd! A pumpkin! Two little beady eyes being swallowed by a tight, oozing mass of tumor! 

And to prove just how humble I am, I will let you see.... Hahaha! Mostly because it's hilarious. But make no mistake: it had been much worse than this. Really! Unfortunately, I have no documentation since I couldn't be bothered with things like taking my own picture when my face was folding in on itself. But here I am at about 70% disaster:

Now, let's compare that to the most unflattering photo of normal-me possible. Here I am, normal-ol me, with bed hair, no make-up, even frowning in my sleep and probably drooling, with a cross-eyed baby in my arms. I now see this as gorgeous. ;-)

I spent an entire weekend completely incapacitated, which is just ridiculous. Incapacitated because of a vanity measure? Puh-lease. I could hardly handle the insanity of it! This is what idiots do to themselves, not grounded people like I thought I was. I must be an idiot! What next? A tanning bed? Vacation time for my facelift and lip implant? A four-hour hair treatment every month while Matt gives me my "ME time"? I'm laid up by this?! Hahahahaha! A chemical peel?! Me?!

Luckily, I didn't have church that weekend. (Can you imagine how I'd have scared the kids? Hahahaha!) Also luckily, Matt had the weekend off. Heaven knows how kids can get on for a weekend when their mother has had her face burned off. (Really, I couldn't take care of them!) I laid in bed with cold, wet towels on my face, and a fan blowing on it. Matt got me a prescription for steroids which gave me my eyes back and, eventually, some semblance of cheekbones. Matt would come check on me (or bring me Maren so I could try to blindly feed her before smothering my face in towels again), and I'd just laugh and moan and laugh, and I couldn't stop saying: "this is so dumb!! This is SO dumb, Matt!"

Do you need to see the picture again to remember just how dumb it was? Haha! Laid up in bed for two days! Couldn't open my eyes! I mean, this is how life goes when something bad happens to you, not when you VOLUNTARILY burn your face off. On purpose. Douse your face in chemicals so it burns off. Voluntarily. What is that? And why did I do it? (Oh yeah.... Because it was free. Stupid, Auburn! Stupid!) It was comedy of the absurd, if ever I've seen it.

Here. Look at the picture again! Look at it!

Hahahaha!!!

Anyway, no, it wasn't because my skin is sensitive. (It's not, particularly.) It's because it was burned. I burned it. On purpose. With TCA (whatever that is). I burned it on purpose. 

I did this because, apparently, it matters how your skin looks. (????)

And here's the point of number one of this installment: It doesn't matter.

It really, really doesn't. It just doesn't matter. Things that do matter? Oh, let's see.... A million things. (Not the least of which is being able to open your eyes! Haha!) How about being comfortable in your own skin, sans beauty treatments? How about being comfortable in your own hair? Your own curves? Your own non-curves?

How about just being clean and presentable, and trying to see yourself the way your Creator does: as infinitely valuable, with not one whit of that value coming from your appearance. Not one tiny whit. 

I hope I think of that next time I'm offered a free self-mutilating beauty procedure.

And if I don't, maybe...at the very least...I'll think of this:

Hahahaha!!! (Oh man! This picture is too hilarious, I can hardly stand it! Hahahaha!! It hardly resembles me at all. I honestly wonder if I'd know it was me if I hadn't been there myself! I only wish I'd been able to make it look even more pathetic. I took SO many pictures trying to get the saddest look possible, but this was the funniest I could get. Turns out it's hard to move your face when it's exploding.... ;-))

Meal Planning

I have had the hardest time meal-planning ever since...well, for as long as I've had to! As a college student, it was just so hard to cook well for just myself. Why put the effort into a real meal? After too much cereal, mac and cheese, and grilled cheese sandwiches, my buddies and I found temporary salvation in the world's best dinner club. Woo hoo!! I still miss it, because meal planning is hard. I don't mind thinking up what to eat. I don't mind cooking something to eat. It's the having the right things that gets to me! I just can't stand wandering through a grocery store, trying to pick out the right combination of things to make dinner for a few days. I can't stand writing down a week's worth of ideas and buying a gazillion things. And I just don't have the time to coordinate recipes that have similar ingredients.

Enter: E-Mealz!



I think I like it, people. Lots of different meal plan options. (Low-fat, low-carb, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.) Super-cheap. Every week, you get a meal plan with a grocery list. All the meals can be prepared in half-an-hour or less! Easy recipes. Tasty. Easy to scratch off ingredients from your grocery list if you nix one or two of the meals (they label all ingredients by meal). The grocery list even comes organized by aisle. With links to coupons. You can even sign up for a Walmart plan, or a Ralphs plan, or other grocery stores, and the recipes will be coordinated with the specials the grocery store is having that week. Holy cow, they've thought of everything! Try it!

But if you try it, remember two things:
1) Sign up for it by coming back here and clicking my banner link in this post! I get some kind of referral bonus. :)
2) Use the coupon code: dave

I think this may be my salvation. Liking it so far!

Cheers

Lately, I've been watching a lot of Cheers. I watched Cheers as a young'n, and then got into it again when Seth was a newborn (Matt and I would watch it way late at night when it was on during Seth's wakeful times :)). Now it's on Netflix. But this time around, something has changed. Sam Malone has just...


reminded me of...

who? Who is it?

When it came to me, I couldn't stop laughing. Hahahaha!!!

Carbon copies. Even down to the hair obsession. :-) Aw.... Mitt and Sam....

Sure it looks like a chokehold.... :-) But aren't they darling?

Ode to Saturday

Almost exactly one year ago (4/10/10) I started to write this blog post. I guess I didn't publish it because I thought people would misunderstand me as a ... murmurer. Oooh. I can see the stone-casting now! "Murmurer! Murmurer!!" Haha! But after the day I had yesterday—Easter Sunday!—I remembered my little song, found it amongst my gazillions of unpublished drafts, and decided I couldn't wait to share it with the world. Here's what I had written last year:

In my church, there's a cute little kid song about Saturday—all about how it's a special day to get ready for Sunday. Remember being in college (I hardly do! That was a decade ago now!) and watching the clock tick away on Sunday night . . . ? The knot of dread in your stomach just getting tighter and tighter . . . .

It's almost Monday.

Oh no, it's getting closer!

Ah, see.... I feel that still. But on a different day. And I've rewritten the Saturday song to pay homage to the most depressing night of my week. :)

Ahem. [cue best singing voice]

Saturday is a terrible day

It's the day I wish weren't almost Sunday....

I go to bed. And I set my alarm. [AHH!!] And I dream about skipping the whole day.

I think about meetings. And meetings.... And meetings.

And I wish I could just have a sleeeeeep day!

Then I fend off the tears and hope to not hear [my alarm, that is]

And really look forward to Monnnn-day!

Like it? :-)

I have to say that I do find it more than a little bit ironic that I consider Monday through Saturday my six days of rest compared to Sunday. Haha! Oh man.... Sundays.... 


So I don't really have to set my alarm anymore (thank goodness!), since we have church at the blessed hour of 1:00. (Yes, we love late church! Yes, it seems to take up the whole day. Yes, we love that. Lazy peaceful morning, go to church, lazy peaceful dinner and the day is done. We dread the years of 9:00 church. With fear and loathing...!) Last year my meetings started at 7:00 am! Boo. This year is much better. But here is how my day went yesterday. On Easter Sunday, mind you. Easter Sunday! I mean, come on people, this is a family day!

9:00 am—Seth wakes up and comes into our room. "Mom! Dad! You've got to see this! Something amazing!" Haha! Love it.

We go out and enjoy Easter baskets and such. Make some breakfast. Fun times, fun times.

Then, I was off!

10:45 am—Leave for church. Strategizing with Matt about Maren's feeding schedule....
11:00 am—Meeting. On Easter Sunday? Yes.
12:05 pm—Meeting ends. I rush over to the chapel to practice with the choir who were in desperate need of a pianist today. Thank my lucky stars that they managed to find an organist for sacrament meeting, or that would have been me! Oh man. That would have been crazy.
12:40—Texting Matt, realizing I'm not getting any spare time to get home before church like I had hoped.
12:45—Choir practice ends. People beg me to play prelude on the organ since the organist isn't there yet. "My baby is on her way starving and needs to be nursed, I'm so sorry!" I incite panic attacks in old ladies. I feel very bad about this.
12:50—Family shows up. I nurse Maren, glad that Matt got there early enough that I could be sure to have myself put back together before I have to run up and play the piano.
1:00—Church starts. In the next hour or so, I go up to play the piano three or four times. Up, down, up down. Each time, I wonder if I had actually put my clothes back in the right places after nursing Maren. I'm sure lots of you moms can relate! :)
2:00—I realize that I'm going to have to do Sharing Time (two 15-minute lessons) in primary (the kids' two hours of sunday school) at the last minute. Don't have anything prepared.
2:20—Go to primary. One of my counselors (the two ladies who run the primary with me) is home with sick kids. The other has hurt her back and needs to sit. Send the secretary to check on all the classes to make sure we have teachers, and I run the whole meeting by myself. Still not sure what I'll do for Sharing Time.... This goes until 4:00 pm.
4:00 pm—Church is over, and now a million people want to talk with me, addressing various issues in cub scouts and primary, kid issues, etc. I'm always grateful to hear from people. I just feel a little nutso trying to keep track of who all is trying to get my attention, where my stuff is while the missionaries are taking apart the room for a baptism, where Seth is and what Matt's plan is, is everything getting back in the closet and to the library, etc., etc.
4:30 pm—I stay behind for a kid's baptism (sweetest boy ever!) while Matt takes kids home. Coordinating feeding times again.... :-)
5:15 pm—I leave the building! To go have Easter Dinner with my family! Who I've really gotten to enjoy today. [Sarcasm intended.] I realize my wicked headache and body aches are partially because I never had time to get a drink all day and I'm disastrously dehydrated! Also, starting to get sick!

Oh, Saturday! I love my song for you. :-)

And, oh Monday! Monday, Monday!!! "Rainy days and Mondays...." The BEST!!! :-D

I feel another song rewrite coming on.... ;-)

A Comparison:

Nostalgia: Part Three

Thought I'd round things out with some fun pictures of Matt. I wish I'd known this kid! Sometimes I wonder what kind of friends we'd have been if we'd known each other since we were tiny little kids.... :-)

Seth's Dad. :-) He was probably running around singing The Imperial March incessantly, too. :-)

After being complimented on my eyelashes my whole life, I never imagined I'd get married and be totally upstaged by my husband's. He HATES 'em! Always getting stuck in his eye! :-)

Hahaha! This picture kills me. That little girl! So proud of herself. And Matt, sooooo miserable to be paired with her. Hahahaha!! Have you ever seen a funnier pair? It's so classic Matt. :-)

Whenever I see Matt with Brian—whether they're enjoying or harassing each other :)—I feel like, oh! Seth just has to have a brother someday! Some days lately, Seth and Maren feel like a forever team, just the two of them. Time will tell....
But I love this picture.

Hands down, my favorite, favorite picture of Matt EVER. He still has those eye crinkles when he smiles—I've always loved them. Such a twinkle when he's delighted! When I see this photo, I think, ah.... Maybe we don't change that much. I never knew this little boy, but this photo is 100% my Matthew. Love it.
Love him.... :-)

Nostalgia: Part Two

And do you think my mom looks at pictures like these and feels a pang of sorrow for a little girl all grown up...? These scenes could almost be from another universe to me—like Seth's and Maren's kid pictures will be to them someday—but I bet to my parents, it feels like just a blink away. Just a blink, and then it was gone! 

I remember thinking about Seth when he was two or three that, wow, he's such a complete person to us. We know him inside and out. He's whole and amazing and full. But this...this is a him he'll never know! Strange, isn't it...? The other day he couldn't remember something I thought we had just barely done together (it had actually been a year ago...) and it was this little stab to my heart. Ouch! Luckily, as Matt always says, yes, he keeps growing, but he keeps getting more and more great. 

Maybe my parents think the same about me.... ;-)

(And, yes, in case you were wondering.... Maren does indeed look exactly like me! It's weird! But fun, I guess. Especially for my parents who, yes, do miss their little girl, but suddenly have her anew. She does have different eyebrows! Proof she's not actually my clone....)

Nostalgia

Do you ever feel nostalgic for something before it's even past...? The second I saw this photo, I knew it would make me insanely sad-happy one day.

Oh, man! Someday I'll look at that, and that little boy will be gone! All gone! He'll be having kids of his own, working some grown-up job, and will hardly remember that he was ever this little bundle of cuteness. But right now, this photo is just sooooo him. You just have to soak it up, every moment.

When I was in the hospital with Maren, I remember sniffing her little head, and holding her close—feeling how that is to hold a newborn and look into those dark newborn eyes. I remembered how I learned with Seth that the newborn phase is gone in mere days. Why hadn't anyone told me? Seth was five days old, and already so different.

I sat there with Maren saying to myself, enjoy this! Enjoy this! Soak up the present.

Sure enough, that's just a memory now. And the cuteness that she is now will be a memory later. Enjoy every moment....

Last week:

Funny Drawing

So Matt and I taught preschool yesterday (always a bonus when Matt can teach with me :)) and had a really funny moment—a moment when we realized, again, that our kid is just plain hilarious. (Well, to us, at least! ;-)) The topic I picked for my rotation this time around is: my mouth. My three lesson days are the sub-themes: teeth and dental hygiene, nutrition, and communication. Yesterday we started with teeth. We busted out big ol' butcher paper and traced the kids with the thought that they'll decorate these drawings throughout the lessons. Step one, yesterday: draw your face on there, and don't forget your mouth and teeth!

Here were the first drawings we saw:

Then we look over at Seth as he pops his marker cap back on and proudly exclaims: "There! My face looks ALL done...!"

:-D
Hahaha!

Grumpy Monster

Seth has occasional episodes of extreme grumpiness. Most of the time, he's his normal ol' happy self. Some of the time, he's ridiculously happy. And some of the time, he's a total grump! Part of the problem is that he's an INTP, like Matt, and honest-to-goodness cannot relate one bit to the concept of an "authority figure." We are peers, through and through. It's hilarious! Also...it will never change.... (I know this because I know Matt. Haha! :)) We just hope to be able to appeal to his sense of reason often enough to teach him something. "Because I said so" is never, ever, not EVER going to work. Not even with punishment—he'll just take it in stride. Just ask Matt's parents. ;-)

So here's an example of a grumpface conversation with Seth:

Seth: Can I watch a Wonder Pets, please?
Us: No, sorry, no TV right now.
Seth: WHY?!!
Us: Because we don't want to watch a lot of TV.
Seth: IF YOU DON'T LET ME WATCH WONDER PETS, THEN YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE CONSEQUENCES. SO I SUGGEST YOU LET ME WATCH IT! RIGHT! NOW! [Hahaha!]
Us: Seth, see? Wonder Pets is making you talk meanly. It's ok to be disappointed. It's not ok to be mean. You need to calm down and talk nicely.
Seth: I am very MAD at you! If YOU don't let me watch Wonder Pets, then you can NEVER watch ANY tv. AT. ALL.

At which point, I can't often resist saying something like, "oh, ok. Who is going to stop me?!" (Haha! Ok, not that bad.) It will mean nothing to him, but I sometimes say things like, "hey, I'm the mom, and you're the little boy...." Pointless. :-)

Anyway, Seth does relate to our reasoning—sometimes it helps him learn things, but sometimes he just turns it right back on us. It's hilarious. He really, truly, honestly thinks we're all on level ground together. Not because he's at all insubordinate; just because it's his innate view. (He really is a little Matt. I love it.... :))

This whole story is just to be able to show a couple of pictures that have been cracking me up all day! I was with some ladies the other day who were all talking about kid challenges, and one of them mentioned taking her 6-year-old to therapy to confront some anger issues. The therapist made the girl name her "Angry Monster." There was a chart on the wall at home. Every time she was asked to do something, a point went to her, or it went to her Angry Monster, depending on her response. He challenged her to not let her Angry Monster beat her! She had to win!

I thought that sounded totally brilliant. The mom said her little girl—who had been throwing tantrums her whole life—totally changed in a matter of weeks. She really could see how frequently she was giving over her control to her anger, and that she had the power to beat this. Brilliant...!

We decided to try this with Seth. He named his "Grumpy Monster." It's very creative: Grumpy. Hahaha! (I think it started out "Grumpies," which is kind of cute, but it morphed to "Grumpy.") We've been talking about it a few days, and today I finally made a chart. My initial inclination was to put a picture of Seth versus a creative picture of "a Grumpy Monster," but then I realized that I wanted him to see what we see when he's grumpy. It worked! He was completely taken aback when he saw the picture of Grumpy. All day he's been trying to get me to change it to one of the drawings he brings me of the Grumpy Monster. (Ha! I win!) I catch him staring at the two pictures sometimes, and if I ask him who he wants to be, he's pretty emphatic that he wants to be Seth, not Grumpy. He's been fantastic all night...! Happy as can be. Will it last...? It might be a fluke. I mean, this kid is happy most of the time anyway.... But maybe it has something to do with these two great pictures! And, really, which one would you want to be?! Hahaha!!

Hahahahaha!!! Will it ruin everything if he catches on to me that when I'm totally delighted and laughing, it's over Grumpy's photo? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I adore this kid. There are no words.... :-)

Thanks for the tip. :)

Courtesy of Copper Mountain Ski Resort in Colorado. 

Stressed?

Want to know how to reverse it?!

One word: desserts.

No, really. It's the reverse. Don't EVEN try to say it's not because, look! It is! I need more chocolate....

Yayyyy 30!

Anyone who has asked me about it knows that I have been way, super-duper excited to turn 30. I've been looking forward to it for years!

It's just been sort of . . . embarrassing . . . the last few years to . . . admit to my age.


Still in my 20's? You kidding me? 

Would they never end?!!!! ;-)

I remember my friend, Amy, mentioning her sister's observation that: "You know the picture in your mind when you think of yourself as an adult? That's your thirties! They're the best!" I realized this must be true. And somewhere along the line, I also realized I was ready to not be a juvenile 20-something anymore. Ready to move on! Own it, baby! Own it! Woooooo hoooooo!!! Thirty!

(I haven't outgrown my juvenile shouting.... ;-))

In honor of achieving the birthday to which I've looked forward so long, I thought I'd document the mood of all the birthdays I remember. It's a little bit funny to look back and remember a distinct excitement (or not) for each one, and why. And since 30 isn't actually that adult, listing all my birthdays just doesn't take very long....

I'll start with not the first birthday I can remember, but the first when I actually cared about the age I was turning. Eight!

8—Super excitement. I felt old and cool.

9—A little bummed to not be 10, but a little excited to be that much closer.

10—SUPER excitement! I still remember everyone in my class (they were all one or two years older than myself) actually seeming excited for me. "How's it feel to be double-digits?" Oh boy. Like I was on top of the world. (Interesting: just now I was thinking about talking with everyone about my birthday, and remembered standing near class with everyone talking about, whoa, being at war! I looked it up: the war actually did start that week!)

11—Already looking forward to 12.

12—WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!

13—I'm a TEENAGER!! YES!!! A teen! I could already see myself being 16 and kissing boys.

14—Eh.

15—Driving permit, baby!! (And, since I was the youngest in my class, I actually did get my permit right after my birthday. Very, very, very cool.)

16—Oh boy. THE. Best. Birthday. EVER. (Even though my super-moral me had sworn off kissing. Hehe. And even though I wasn't the 5'10" blonde I'd always pictured for my 16-year-old self. Hahaha!)

17—It seems impossible, but I'm pretty sure I was even more excited about 17 than I had been about 16. I was graduating from high school this year and going off to college. And maybe something inside knew I'd meet Matt that year.... :)

18—Eh. I liked being a 17-year-old college student better. Plus, I had Mono. (No, not from kissing. ;-))

19—I was excited about that one, but my family might not have believed it. I left a series of messages on their voicemail playing "I Hope They Call Me On A Mission" and other missionary tunes in a minor key with sounds of wailing. Haha! If I were male, I'd have been in the MTC that week, starting a mission. It was my dream.

20—Kristin decorated the London Centre with happy birthday signs! Then she helped me get home when I felt totally sick at the Tower of London. Best of times and worst of times! As far as the number is concerned, I was not all that happy about it. I was studying psychology at the time and was overly amused at being classified as an "adolescent." At 20, I was an adult. That sounded too normal. I wanted to be weird. ;-)

21—WAY excited to turn 21! And I wrote in my journal: "Now I don't have to be too embarrassed that Matt and I are seriously dating." Haha!

22—Now I didn't have to be too embarrassed that I was newly married. (Although, with a little hindsight I realize, whoa! 22 is still SUPER young!)

23—Thought it was very aesthetic.

24—GOLDEN YEAR, baby!!! I had been looking forward to it since I was a child and had first heard of a "golden year." (Your "golden birthday" is when your day of birth and your age are the same number.)

25—Sad to see my golden year end, happy that it had ended so happily with miraculously getting pregnant with Seth. Also happy that 25 sounded more "legit" than the early-20's. My suspicion was confirmed when some ladies at work were hassling me: "Ohhhh.... It's your birthday. What are you, like twenty-three? Twenty-four? Ooooohhh...." I laughed and said, "25." And—no joke!—they all went, "oh, ok! Happy Birthday!" New respect was in their eyes, I could tell. Hahahaha!!

26—Eh. Not aesthetic. Kind of blah.

27—I thought 27 sounded AWESOME. I still do.

28—Eh. I really wished I were turning 30. Or staying 27. But 28 just sounded blah.

29—Even more disappointing than 28! Let me be 30 already!!

And then there was 30, which was the most eagerly-anticipated since...well, since my Golden Birthday. :)

Funnily enough, I was too tired on my 30th birthday to do much of anything. An omen of the decade to come? Hahaha!! Even funnier, I just didn't care that I was too tired. I thought, "woo hoo, 30! Now let me sleep...." And I was totally happy with that.

Time can only tell how I'll feel about 40, but for now I'm still thinking that getting older is good stuff.

Our Sweet Boy

Sometimes I look over at Seth, and his eyes are doing their Seth-thing, and he absolutely takes my breath away. Oh, I love this boy.... :)

One of the unpublished posts. From September.

One of our more intentional goals as parents has been to help our kid not be afraid.

We might be too good at this.

(Hahahahaha!!!)

So, a few weeks ago, Seth was out playing the backyard when all of a sudden, he comes crashing through the bathroom door (I was getting ready for the day) and announces: "Mom!! You've GOT to see! I found a cockroach!!"

And he runs back out.

I go back to my mascara, thinking...great. A stinking cockroach. (And around here, that means the BIG outdoor buggers.... Not those little gross guys in the kitchen. The BIG dudes.)

Five minutes later he bursts through again! "Mom!! I'm building a house for him, mom! It's a GREAT house. It's just for the cockroach!"

So now my son builds cockroach habitats...!

When I got outside, the cockroach was on his back in a pool of water, and Seth was trying to feed it an ant. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Even better, there were a bunch of goldfish crackers strewn around. I guess when the cockroach failed to be interested in cheese crackers, Seth got a little more practical. An ant. Perfect.

"I poured him some water so he could have a drink...." Ohhh. Ok. What a great plan! (I'm thinking of the legs-up result. Most excellent!) Then Seth tells me something about how the cockroach was soooo happy to have a great house and food and water that he did a little dance and flipped onto his back and wiggled his legs. "Like this, Mom...."

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[The next day, the water had evaporated and there were still a few dead ants laying next to the dead cockroach, laying next to the cockroach house Seth built from sticks, with goldfish crackers all around. What a funny cockroach grave.... Seth said, so matter-of-factly: "Welllllll. I think he must be dead." Not a little dance after all....]