I'm Perplexed!

Hey, don't forget to vote!

I've been perplexed about voting this time around—and maybe a tad bit more earnest. I think it's because we're back in California! Of course, for the presidential election, a vote in Colorado this year is about as important as it gets. But for all that other stuff, things just feel substantial when you're talking about California taking them on. It could change the world! Everyone everywhere is talking about Prop 8, for instance. Would they care about North Dakota's Prop 8? Not so much. Prop 2 has gotten a bunch of exposure as well—I heard Oprah did a whole show about it. Prop 2 says in a bunch of legislative mumbo-jumbo that certain farm animals need to be able to spread their wings and/or turn around and do the hokey-pokey.... :) Sounds nice. But, and here's getting to my point about voting, what do I know about the farming industry? [Uh....] What do I know about legislative mumbo-jumbo? All I know is that California's farming industry is ginormous! That's not a lot of knowledge. Hehe. I also know that the FDA exists to do things like... tell farmers when and how to make sure their animals can turn around. So why are a bunch of farming-industry know-nothings voting on something that has a major impact on the farming industry? I think animals should be able to flap their wings while they lay my breakfast eggs, sure. But for all I know (which is nothing...) Prop 2 will bankrupt California farming or something. My point is this: I shouldn't have a say in this. I'm an idiot.

There are also a number of propositions that impact the criminal justice system. Once again, what do I know about the stinking criminal justice system...? Um, nothing...? I voted against one proposition because one sentence indicated a broader definition would be used for allowing minors to be tried as adults. I'm vehemently—viscerally!—opposed to minors being tried as adults so, there you go. (And, yes, I already voted—I love being a permanent mail-in voter!) But absent a one-liner that catches my visceral attention (hehe), I'm totally lost. I'm hugely in favor of criminal rehabilitation, for instance—but the proposition allocating more resources to it might be tremendously flawed in some way the voters (who are stupid—myself included :)) could never anticipate. Why are they asking our opinion? It's pointless. It's like taking a poll from kindergartners: "what would you rather eat on our field trip—filet mignon or haggis?" Oh! Look! 58% said haggis as opposed to only 42% for filet mignon. We're having haggis! Hehe. Pointless to even ask. Isn't this why we elect representatives? So they can learn what we don't know and make educated decisions that the masses aren't qualified to make? That's the idea, I thought....

I especially love how they spell out the fiscal implications of passing or failing a certain measure. "This would cost California 85 billion dollars, compounded with interest, paid by bonds, shared with squirrels, and then potentially refunding to the budget another 31.8 trillion dollars." Are any of us supposed to know what that means? Even if you understand a thing or two about economics and finances, what do we know about our state's budget? I don't even know how much money 85 billion dollars is, let alone what that means to the state of California over 20 years, plus interest, minus squirrels. It makes me laugh! Go ahead! Give me the specifics! We'll all fool ourselves into thinking we know what we're talking about!

It's like the whole "jury of your peers" problem. Scariest thing in all our rights, if you ask me. Heaven help me—pleeeease—if I ever get to be judged by a jury of my "peers"! Peers deciding on the legalities of a case who: 1) didn't have anything better to do, so weren't excused from coming to court; 2) didn't appear to independently think, and so were not excused by the plaintiff or defense attorneys; 3) don't know a single thing about law; 4) have an average IQ of—let's be very generous—99. :) Call me crazy, but I think a case should be decided by people who actually know what they're talking about, what they're listening to, and all those pesky intricacies of the law. A random bunch off the street....? Minus any of the smart ones, since the attorneys don't like to keep them around...? Hehe (it's true). Yikes. :-|

So, yeah...voting.... About as random as a jury of your peers. That's why whoever gets the most airtime wins. Which side was better at managing money and was therefore able to purchase more tv ads? Because people will vote how their tv ad tells them to vote—we just don't know any better. Farming? Criminal justice? The maritime dock in San Diego's harbor? There is one proposition I know for sure I can wrap my head around, and that's San Diego's Prop D—making permanent the temporary ban they've had on alcohol at public beaches. Hallelujah! Please, PLEASE pass Prop D, San Diego! This most lovely of laws has made the beaches safer, less crowded, less littered.... Better in every way. :) Something I can really get behind without wondering if I don't know what I'm talking about. Simple. To the point. Basic consequences you can anticipate.... That's my kind of ballot initiative. :)

None of this is to say I don't think people should vote. We need to vote! If all the people who sit out an election because, eh, my vote doesn't count or eh, who knows about this stuff anyway, would instead try to make as informed a vote as they could, that would be a really good thing. It could change the world! Hehe. So, even though my one vote doesn't actually make a difference (and I don't really know what I'm talking about...), at least I can be part of the group that makes a difference. But, hey, legislators, do more of this yourselves! You wusses! Sending stuff to the voters...! Shameful.... Hehe.

(And here's my tv ad for all you Californians. Vote yes on Prop 1! Hurray for infrastructure! It cures an ailing economy and gives us cool things. So go for it. Hehe. And yes on Prop 3! Hurray for good Children's Hospitals! :))

(Should I have done a nastier tv ad...? Did you know that 95% of death-row inmates oppose Prop 3? Don't be a death-row inmate. YES on Prop 3. I'm a good person. . . and I approve this message. :))

Quite Possibly the Coolest Thing Ever!

(Courtesy of this link, where an even better but non-attachable picture is found. If we have another baby someday, I think I need this mobile! Maybe even if we don't.... Hehe.)

More Disclosure. :)

Hillary tagged me! Here I go...!

8 Shows I Love to Watch

1. American Idol

2. House

3. The Office

4. Project Runway

5. The Amazing Race

6. The Mentalist (so far, so good... :))

7. Ummm...Pushing Daisies (I'm very behind, though...)

8. Ummm...Cheers re-runs? Hehe. The Cosby Show? 

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. George's at the Cove (La Jolla)

2. The Prado at Balboa Park

3. Outback

4. The Cove (La Jolla)

5. Tacos Olè (taco shop in Murrieta)

6. Claim Jumper

7. Bombay House (in Provo; we may never eat there again, but there's no question it was the highlight of Provo for us :))

8. El Azteca (hasn't existed in a while; but MMMM!! Maybe the best Mexican food ever. Right, Hillary? :)) (Taquito House in Perris, CA is a pretty good alternative. YUM!)

8 Things that Happened Yesterday

1. Seth and I met my parents for lunch at Rubio's.

2. Seth charmed all the grocery store shoppers by walking around clutching his box of Life with a big grin on his face (and barefoot, as always). :) 

3. We watched the sunset at Coronado.

4. We saw dolphins closer to shore than ever! Tons of them! We've seen several there, and close, but never this close, and never so many at once. A bunch of pelicans were also diving for fish. It was awesome—and right at sunset, too. Very picturesque.

5. I voted. Matt voted. We all voted.

6. Seth and Matt saw a UFO while checking the mail. Seriously. (When Matt can't scavenge through his brain to find any sort of explanation, you know something is up.... Hehe.)

7. Seth helped me finally catch up on laundry (he puts away the kitchen towels :)) while we danced to funky music.

8. Seth helped me unload the dishwasher (he loves to put away the silverware! :)) while we listened to the Chichester Psalms (the second part is incredible...!).

8 Things I Look Forward to

1. Picking Matt up from work.

2. Seth doing...anything.... :) He's totally delightful!

3. Seth waking up to go play.

4. Matt getting a real job (5 1/2 years, baby!).

5. Our dream house with amazing ocean views. :)

6. The burial of all power lines in all the world!

7. The planting of grass and flowers through all the world! (It would require a lot of sprinklers. Hehe. But worth it! When I was a little girl, I'd dream of how to do this myself when I grew up.... I was pretty confident I could do it. Haha! :))

8. Enjoying art or theatre or a book or concert or hike or basically anything with Matt! (Who always gets it. :)) It's fun to share. And I like Matt. :)

8 Things I Love about Fall

1. That it's not Summer anymore! (I loathe Summer.)

2. Watching the sunset at a quiet, empty beach before dinner.

3. The crisp, cool air! I love it.

4. Drinking hot chocolate or caramel apple cider.

5. A jaunt in the pretty mountains. Especially if french crumb apple pie is involved. :)

6. The colored leaves that stay on the trees clear until Spring! It's so cool! (I also loathe bare trees. Fall leaves for months...is...AWESOME....)

7. The chance it might rain!

8. The smell and sound of a wood fire burning in the fireplace, especially if it's raining outside.

8 Things on My Wish List

1. That house I mentioned with the ocean views. :)

2. Another awesome year like last year. :)

3. Wii Fit. Hehe.

4. That Matt always loves his job so much!

5. That my headache would go away. Blech.

6. A full night of perfect sleep.

7. More subways and trains! (Rrrrighttt.... Keep wishing.)

8. That Barry the grey socialist primadonna cat (primadonna cat is redundant, I know...:)) doesn't actually figure out how to sneak through the window and keep stealing my burritos. Haha!

8 People I Tag

Um.... Ok, I guess if I HAVE to.... Christy, Elizabeth, Angela! Kristin! And, what the heck...! Amy! Hehe. That's only five, but it's a lot of exclamation points. (Besides, Amy loves being tagged so much that she'll respond four times. Right? Hehe. :))

My subconscious is HILARIOUS!

I had a bunch of nightmares last night about a grey cat named Barry, who was a known socialist. Yeah, you heard me. The cat was a socialist. :) And he kept jumping through a bus window onto my seat and stealing my burritos.

HA HA HA!! (As far as dream interpretation goes, it doesn't get any easier or funnier than that! HAHA!)

Depressing Flickr Mosaic

Everyone and their dog keeps making these for their blogs! Some of them have turned out kind of pretty so, you know.... I got curious. :) And since I went through the trouble of making one, I may as well put it on my blog. But...the SADNESS! The best picture of them all was protected and just showed up as a big white space. I loved the picture too much to put a different one in its place. And so...my mosaic is pathetic. So sad.

But you should go look at this picture! It's gorgeous. (See why I couldn't put something else there? :))
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindsaystark/647606426/

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search. 

2. Using only the first page, pick an image. 

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker. (choose three columns and four rows, also choose individual URL's)

Questions:
1. What is your first name?   Auburn
2. What is your favorite food?   burritos (and lots of other Mexican and/or cheesy foods)
3. What school did you go to?   Stanford in my dreams :) (I couldn't bear to have a picture of BYU in here. They all made me feel anxious! PTSD. :-|)
4. What is your favorite color?   deep red
5. Who is your celebrity crush?   Puh-lease! Matthew Williams! (I don't need no other crush.... :))
6. Favorite drink?   dark hot chocolate (I love Godiva Dark Chocolate Truffle.... MMMM!)
7. Dream vacation?   a year in Europe
8. Favorite dessert?   french pastries
9. What you want to be when you grow up?   humanitarian
10. What do you love most in life?   transcendence (hehe—that sounds kind of funny! But it really is the best word I could find to describe what I love in life!)
11. One word to describe you.  passionate 
12. Your nickname.   Mrs. Fabulous (hahaha! Ok, well, I'm just assuming.... It IS true that a bunch of us used to call Matt Mr. Fabulous.)

Quirky Me.

Ellie tagged me to tell the world six quirky things about myself! I asked Matt to tell me what my quirkiest quirks are (I wanted this to be REALLY juicy!). He laughed and said, "Everything about you is quirky! I love it!" Everything? "Yes! Everything!" Wow. That's a lot of quirkiness. Hehe. Matt only offered one example, though—I'll put it first.

1. I have a driving hunger—a need!—for drama! Not just drama, but melodrama! And tragedy. Melodramatic tragedy. YES!! The more tragic the better. I'll shudder and shudder with the biggest grin on my face (it's probably pretty silly looking, but I can't help it!) if a book or story or play ends this way. I first recognized this aspect of myself while learning about mythology in 4th or 5th grade. I loved—I can't SAY how much I adored!!!—the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Just before they're to be married, the very day!, Eurydice is bitten by a snake and DIES. Orpheus can't accept it, so he valiantly works (with the help of his amazing lyre skills :)) to cross every impossible barrier between the world of the living and the underworld and fetch her back—the first mortal ever (maybe the only?!) to successfully cross the river Styx and enter the land of THE DEAD. Creepy. Hades is so impressed that he makes a deal. Fine, I'll let you have Eurydice back. But you must leave the underworld without looking back at her. If you look back, she's here FOREVER. And thus begins a walk with the greatest potential for riveting melodrama of any story I can think of. Imagine the torture! He walks and sweats and walks and sweats, wrestling in his mind—is Hades just tricking me? He is Hades after all! I'll have come all this way for nothing! But what if she's really there? I can't look or she'll be gone! He makes his way back and, just as he's about to step into the mortal world again . . . (aahhghhahah! oOoohohsohoOOOH! Arrrrrghghahaaaaahhhh! What will he do? Oh the stress for poor Orpheus!) . . . he . . . TURNS AROUND AND LOOKS! And, YES! She was there all along!! She screams out "Orrrr-pheeeeee-uuuuuuus!!" as she vanishes (at least, that's how I picture it :)), sucked back to Hades forever! Oh, the beautiful horror! I never knew I could love a story so much. :) Years later I discovered that I love opera for the same reasons (plus the great music in the good ones). And guess what it turns out the very first opera was? Yep. Orpheus. I'm not alone! Hehe. (I especially love Puccini. When the curtain closes to the sounds of weeping...? Oooohh.... Yes.... With incredible music to make it all the better. Ever seen Moonstruck? Ha ha! GREAT movie! When they leave La Boheme and Cher says "she died!" and Nicolas Cage grins and says "yess..." with a sigh—that's ME!!) I also write in my journal in a way that it amuses me for the melodrama of it. My posterity is bound to have the ALL wrong impression. Oh well! I can't help but try to laugh while I pour my heart out. Hehe.

2. I say "thanks" differently from how everyone else says it. Or, at least, this is what I've been told. I only believe it because SO many people have mentioned it. You know that episode of Friends where Joey is trying to learn French from Phoebe...? He'll repeat her French with something like an earnest "poo-lee-poo-poo." And then Phoebe, astounded, tells him ok, that's not what she said. And Joey, equally astounded, says "Really?! They sound exactly the same to me." THAT'S how I feel about "thanks." I ask people to say it their way and then say it my way, and I swear! They are both exactly the same. Being so grossly in the minority about it, though, I'm willing to believe I'm wrong. I just don't understand how.... 

3. I have an utterly insatiable desire to doodle whenever I have paper in front of me. There's a major problem, though.... I don't know how to draw! At all! Every time I set my pencil on the paper to doodle, I briefly intend to...doodle.... But what comes out instead is my signature. Then I sign it again, while I continue to consider what I should draw. Then again and again...! And I never think of anything to draw besides maybe some circles and squiggly-lines that are ugly. They dissatisfy me so much that I turn the page to something fresh, and.... Sign my name some more. Hehe. When I'm bored with signing my own name, and reconciled to the reality that I'm not going to think of anything to draw, I start signing the names of my "future children." Ha ha! The greatest thing about all this is finding old notebooks—page after page of my name. And then, oh yes, years before Matt and I were even dating, maybe a few pages of "Auburn Williams." Hehe. I also quite enjoy seeing the kids' names I was signing a few years ago, or six years ago, or 10 years ago.... Hilarious! (It's fun, too, to see Seth Gabriel Williams all over a page years before he was born and think, wow, he really ended up existing! As to whether some of the others will exist.... Uh.... I don't think so. :))

4. I'm mortally afraid of sour milk. Once our milk is down to the last few cups in the carton, I can't bring myself to drink it unless someone tests it out first. Too scary. Or to be in someone else's house and drink their milk...? If I didn't see that it was just opened, I have a very difficult time using it. Good thing it usually turns out alright! Sour milk is traumatizing. Hehe.

5. I am a champion radio channel-surfer. I'm really very skilled at it! I am fundamentally opposed to listening to a dumb song when I don't need to—and with six or more pre-set stations, why would I ever need to? My skills were really put to the test in Denver where the radio stations (and especially the morning and afternoon shows!) were amateur and horrible—there were never, EVER two good songs in a row. And very rarely was there anything great playing anywhere on the radio. I know this because I'd scan through them all. Hehe. Anyway, I've heard at least a second or two of probably every song known to man. I listen until I'm not interested anymore, and then I look for something else. Songs that are country, sung by Neil Diamond, threaten to make my brain explode, or are Feliz Navidad or I'm Proud to be an American interest me so far left of zero that the moment of playing time they DO get is very regrettable to me. Sometimes, even a song I love will cease to interest me after it's halfway done, and so I'm on to something else. If you have a need to hear whole songs, never, EVER get in a car with me. I'll drive you insane!

6. I found out only a little while ago that I cut food in a funny way. Jordan, who was staring at my plate while I cut a steak, said "fascinating.... I've never seen anyone cut like that." And my parents, without even having to look, said "oh yeah! She's been doing that forever—it's so cute." So cute? I looked down to see what in the world they were talking about. Apparently it's not "normal" behavior to stab your food with the fork, then cut with the knife going between the fork prongs. Hehe. Who knew? It makes sense to me—a nice little barrier to keep you cutting nice and straight...! :) When I asked Matt later if he had noticed the way I cut things he said, "yeah, it's funny, you go through the fork!" I never knew people noticed how people cut their food (I obviously never watch other people cut things), and I definitely didn't know the way I did it was unique. :)

Well, I don't know how juicy that was. But hopefully now you know I'm even quirkier than you thought. I tag...BRIAN AND JANELLE (I don't even know that you have a blog, but now you have to! You've been tagged. :)), and Matt! Ha ha! I think I'm supposed to tag 6 people, but they're quirkier than you're average Joe, so I think they each count for two. :)

Mispronounciations :)

Since I have occasionally pointed out mispronunciations that amuse me, I feel compelled to confess! I mispronounce words! Actually, the truthiest truth is that I avoid words altogether if I don't think I know how to pronounce them. (This was difficult in say, 4th grade, when we'd take turns in class reading out loud. I couldn't just skip words I didn't know! The result was not always pretty. I still remember "militia" and "Sean"—I had never seen that name in my life! Hehe.) Anyway, the following are words you will likely not hear me say. They run through my mind, but just before coming to my lips I put on the brakes and say something else instead—usually several inferior words instead of the one that could have sufficed. :) It's highly inefficient. But I just don't know how to pronounce them! And even if you tell me, I'll probably forget (I'm sure I've learned a dozen times each what's correct). I'm doomed to confusion forever....

homogenous

irrevocable (I like the British ir-REV-o-ca-ble. But is that how Americans say it, too? I just don't know!)

pragmatist

naivete (Is there any way to say this that isn't ridiculous?)

caprice

applicable (I lean towards ap-PLI-ca-ble, but I'm never sure about it :))

yuan 

electoral (is it e-LEC-toral or e-lec-TOR-al? I think it's the first, but I'm never quite sure. At least I don't say electorial....)

nuptial (is it two syllables? nup-shul? nup-she-ul?)

Hmmm.... I'm sure I have more!

Really, I'm Psychic. I Swear!

In Denver we frequently drove by the greatest sign on the greatest door in all the world. It made me laugh every single time I saw it!

It was a high-profile psychic and palm-reading place. And a sign on the door (I'm sure it must have been in Papyrus, Amy... ;)) said:

HA HA HA HA HA HA!! That's the business-killer of all business-killers. HAHAHAHAHA!!

A Tale of Two Killings and a Magic Remote Control

Some odd things happened at my parents' house recently—and I'm wondering what kind of magic powers Seth has (or, at least, his remote control). 

First, we were sitting in the family room when a nasty spider went running across the floor. There was no denying the obvious. He needed to be killed. Matt grabbed some sort of apparatus (I don't remember anymore what it was...) and smashed the critter. But the spider kept on running...! So he tried again harder! And harder! And even HARDER! The spider of steel finally became most definitely smooshed, all rubbed into the carpet like only spider guts can, and most decidedly dead. Matt went to get a tissue to clean it up.

Enter Seth. With his remote control. Fascinated by the preceding proceedings, he couldn't resist getting in on the action. So he held the remote control high above his head, and...WHAP! Slammed it down on the dead spider. At which point—I solemnly swear to tell you no lies—the smooshed spider. . .started running away! Upon further inspection, he was no longer smooshed! In fact, he showed no evidence of damage of any kind. 

What the...?

Seth eyed his remote control with wonder. And we eyed Seth, with his remote control, with...total befuddlement. 

Matt killed the spider a second time and disposed of it before Seth could bring it back to life again.

Fast-forward only a few hours. Camille had described seeing a venomous looking creature, with a rattle-y tail, slithering under the oak trees and looking decidedly dangerous. We googled some key words and decided it must be a rattlesnake. And it must be killed. Camille was red with fury that it had gotten away unscathed and, being the bloodthirsty sleuth she is, attempted the impossible: to find the same snake twice. She vowed not to eat or sleep or engage in conversation with her mother-in-law until the alleged "rattlesnake" was taken care of. Unfortunately, her resolve was not strong enough to resist conversation with her totally engaging mother-in-law. With the alleged rattlesnake resting—unseen!—only a few feet away, Camille and my mom stood by the fence and talked. And talked...! And talked some more. Oh, the eeriness, the utter creepiness, when they casually glanced over to see their foe! All this time occupying their same space! There was only one thing to do.... Yell for Matthew.

And yell they did. And come he did. With sword and shield—actually, with boots and hoe. He hacked, and hacked (the hoe was rather dull...) while the snake tried futilely to slither away (and while Camille snapped pictures), and hacked some more until, finally, the head was (avert your eyes if you don't want to know)...severed. His capa...was detated...from his head. He was dead. Camille took some more pictures, then vowed to resume eating and sleeping. We all stood and marveled at the grotesque remains.

Enter Seth. With his remote control! Do I have to tell you the utter horror that occurred next?! We tried—oh, how we tried!—to keep him away, but...! Well, ok. In all "actuality," he was sleeping upstairs. I'll confess, though, that I was glad for it.

Thus is the tale of the spider who was found once and killed twice, and the rattlesnake who was found twice and killed, thankfully, only once.

Because I'm Already Thinking about Thanksgiving!

Ode To The Turkey Breast

(in not-so-poetic bullet format :))

Oh, Turkey Breast, how do I love thee when it comes to making the obligatory turkey Thanksgiving meal? Let me count the ways you rock my world!

• You don't take up the entire oven for the entire day!

• In fact, you cook very quickly, and by so many methods. You can be broiled, baked, roasted.... You can even be...BARBECUED! [gasp of awe from the audience]

• You can be infused with flavor, turning out succulent and tasty. My favorite is to marinate you for a good long while in the fridge before cooking you. Mmmm...! Delicious! (SO much better than just basting a big ol' turkey all day.) A proven winner for you has been Matt's fajita marinade: olive oil, lime juice, garlic, cilantro, freshly-ground pepper, brown sugar, cloves, maybe some orange juice or zest or both, maybe some minced habañero.... Delicious. Though we might want to try this recipe next time. Cranberry-orange marinades are delicious as well! Probably a million different marinades are delicious—and you can take them all! You rock, Turkey Breast.

• You aren't full of superfluous meat no one wants to eat.

• You aren't full of superfluous stuff no one can eat.

• You don't look grotesquely like a big bird sitting on the table.

• You are easy to slice up into pretty pieces.

• Did I mention you always turn out juicy and flavorful? You always turn out juicy and flavorful. I like your marinated you. :)

• Your leftovers are easy to put aside, and tasty for many days. I like your leftovers in leftover rolls as yummy marinated-turkey and yummy-roll sandwiches.

• Without you, we would probably never, ever have a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, and that could be considered utterly horrifying. You restore a bit of something traditional to our holiday. This is the least of my concerns (I'm more concerned with how tasty you are when marinated and barbecued :)) but, nevertheless, you make the "must-have" turkey dinner easy and tasty. 

Clearly, Turkey Breast, you are far superior to the whole from which you sprung. And you are grossly unappreciated! (Which actually works out well when it comes to being able to buy you at the store.... :)) Thanks for making our Thanksgiving tastier than it used to be!

Snow Brush For Sale!

We were up and on the road at 5:30 this morning, taking Matt to work and feeling a little sad that he wouldn't come home until at least noon tomorrow. But then, like a ray of sunshine, we remembered something wonderful! That we may never again get up early in the morning and have to do THIS: 

Woo hoo!! Hahahaha! Yippee! What a great trade! This actually cheered us up enough to almost not care anymore about 30-hour+ shifts in the NICU, or getting to work by 5:30 every morning this month. We realized, wow, we get up early in the morning, and we aren't crippled with cold. We don't ever see our breath! We don't sit in the car shivering and utterly miserable, waiting for the heater to kick in. In fact, we don't even turn the heater ON! Woo hoo! The inside of our car never gets muddy, salty, nasty snow all over it! (Neither do the insides of our shoes. :)) And, best of all, we don't have to worry about knowing when to wake up an hour earlier with the car needing to be scraped out (that is TORTURE any time of day, but especially at 5:00 in the morning!) and the roads so icy it will take an extra 50 minutes to drive the few miles to work. We just get in the car, Matt in his scrubs and me in my pajamas and flip-flops and Seth in his pajama shorts, and we just...go.... Imagine! We start the car, and we drive.... Beautiful. 

And I haven't yet woken up in the middle of the night with a sense of doom that the pinkish haze through the window means it's already snowing, even though it's early Fall (there always seemed to be at least one early snow that would strip the pretty leaves right away! Sadness...). Hurray, Hurray, Hurray, Hurray!! And it's even rained a few times! Ah.... Lovely rain. (We can't wait for the proper rainy Winter! :)) It's been fabulous.

Oh the horror!!

I just discovered that ABC.com has a new episode player, and THIS one isn't susceptible to my awesome ad-blocking plug-in! NOOOOOOO!!! [cue Psycho music] How did they get around me like this? (ABC's tv ads are the worst, too, because they have a million interruptions and you have to click the screen to start the show again.) Does anyone know of an awesome ad-blocker (for Mac) that will foil ABC's plans? How about Hulu's?! Foiling Hulu would be great....

Too Big!

I just hunkered down and finally tackled one of my least favorite tasks: sorting out Seth's outgrown clothes! The first time I did this was when he was about 2 months old and had outgrown premie clothes. I cried. I did! Maybe it was the hormones, I don't know. Hehe. No, I probably would have been overly nostalgic for those tiny clothes no matter what kind of hormones were going on. I've since learned how to control the crying when putting away small clothes forever, but it's still really painful. It's so weird to look at a tiny onesie that fit only a couple weeks ago, but now looks SOOOO small! Or to pull out a favorite outfit and think, "I'll never see him wear that again!" Is it ridiculous to be sad about that? Do I have any other with-it, put-together moms in my camp on this, or will I have to join some weirdos club....? Hehe. Another horrible thing is when he's outgrown something that he never really wore. Or when I didn't get the pictures I wanted in a favorite outfit, and now it's too small...! Silly things, I know. :)

Today's sorting was a little more painful—but also a little more amusing!—because he finally outgrew some clothes he's been wearing a long...long...time.... No more of this growing out of clothes in 2 months, business. I had NO IDEA how long he'd been wearing some of these clothes.... (It was also more amusing because Seth was willing to stand there and try 25 different pieces of clothing on. Totally indiscriminately he would tell me some were big and some were "too small, mom. Too small! Put it away, mom...." Hehe.) Seth is really tall for his weight—he's always been under 10th percentile for weight and always 75th percentile or more for height. Baby clothes shaped like a square, for the normal baby, have never even been close to fitting! HA HA! It's been funny to see people try things on him that they think will be cute. By the time he would maybe fit how big around the outfit is, he'd probably be a foot too long for it. (The outfit we packed for taking him home from the hospital didn't end up fitting until he was 8 months old! HAHAHAHA!!) Clothes like Carters that are ridiculously long and skinny (I guess normal babies take up the material by being chubby and then it turns out not so long...) have been Seth's saving grace. And apparently, in the case of this last year and half or so, have kept on fitting him for a long time! 

Today I found some shorts that he's still been wearing but I decided, ok, I'm finally willing to concede they're looking a little small.... I checked the label just to find maybe a benchmark for what should be put away. They were all 6-9 months! HAHAHAHA!! Seth is almost 28 months. Ridiculous! Now, he didn't START wearing them at 6 months or even 9 months.... I'm sure they didn't fit around his waist until over a year old. But, still.... He's been wearing them a long time. Some of the shirts and sweaters I tossed were 9-12 months, and they actually ALMOST fit. (The sleeves were just getting too short. I did keep some 9-12 month shorts that are long, even though he still needs a belt to wear them! Hehe.) Oh, the sadness. Little clothes I've seen on him for a whole year, and now they're gone. Sniff!

I'm not an overly sentimental person, but I am extremely nostalgic. Time going on, even without any sentimental memories attached, is just kind of painful for me.... After a few years, I get over it. But looking back at what was a whole year or two ago (and never seems that far away...) is always kind of sad somehow! Multiplied times a million with a baby because, wow, only a month ago things were so different.... Only a week ago he couldn't do this or say that, and now he can.... Six months feels like a week ago, but he grew up a whole six months and three shoe sizes! When Seth was probably, oh, 10 days old, I looked at him and realized that, wow, the newborn phase is over already?! What?! He was already different.... I asked Matt, why didn't anyone tell me he'd only be a newborn for a few days?! And Matt said, yeah, but he's gotten even better. Hehe. And it's true! It's sad to leave a baby behind who will never be a baby again, but it's so great to see more and more. :) 

With as BIG—as crazy HUGE!—as he seems today after getting rid of the cute 6-9 month shorts that don't quite fit, I guess I should remind myself that the next time I sort his clothes I'll be thinking how tiny he was at 27 months (let's hope that's a long time from now... :)). And those premie clothes in storage? UN...REAL.... :-|  I don't even remember anymore what it was like for him to be that super-tiny. I look at the clothes and almost don't believe it's true he WAS that little.... Is it possible? It makes me glad I at least soaked up those moments while I could. I don't remember him being that tiny, but I DO remember spending day after day just soaking him up. :) It was lovely. And, really, it just keeps getting better.

Can we just slow down?! AND speed up? At the same time?! Hehe. You just have to soak up every moment.... 

Please and Thank-You

This might surprise some people, but want to know one of my BIGGEST pet-peeves...? When people tell little kids to "say please!" or "say thank you!" Even worse is when they teach them to...ugh...SIGN it. Sign language please and thank you...? Poor little kids. I work with little kids a lot (at church, especially—and Matt encounters the same thing at work) and it amazes me how often a child's good manners are completely overlooked. If an 18-month-old, or even older, points to the water pitcher in my hand, smiles at me, and says "that?" and I give them more water and they smile and drink it, that's more than good enough for me. That's kindness. That's good manners. That's also being an effective communicator and not taking a favor for granted. I love it! When someone else—the kid's parent or another adult—jumps in to remind the kid: "uh-oh! What do you say...? Say please. Now say thank-you!" Ugh. [As I shiver with disgust.] It really, really bothers me. Here's why. First, it's ignoring the kid's independent attempts to communicate, which is criminal in my mind. Second, the kid hears "your communication stinks. You need to say it MY way." Third, and worst of all, it's telling the kid "what you did just now [which was a nice thing] is not good manners—good manners is all about saying the right thing." The kid already demonstrated that they equate good manners with being nice—how great! (We could learn so much from kids. It's no wonder Christ tells us to be as little children!) But then some adult replaces that vastly superior idea with a ridiculous one: that it's not how you feel inside or treat people that matters, it's how well you adhere to social custom (what everyone is telling you to do). How could anyone actually want to teach a kid that lesson? It hits their confidence (the thing they came up with on their own was unacceptable), it actually punishes their kind feelings and actions, and it teaches them to change and become a person who operates according to what other people think or what the "rules" are. Ever seen the kid who gets what he wants then smirks and says "thank you" while running away—never looking you in the eye? Rules stink. Thinking is what doesn't stink. 

And the sign language! Oh, the sign language.... It just hurts me to see little babies telling their parents things with the signs they've been trained to use. Babies communicate just fine on their own. Sure it's more work for an adult to actually listen to their kid's sometimes pitiful attempts to communicate than to recognize the sign for "please" or "more" or "milk" or whatever. But doesn't a kid deserve it? And, also, wouldn't anyone want their kid to learn how to communicate creatively rather than just by wrote imitation? Why train them so young that they'll only be heard when they do it someone else's way...? Give them confidence that what's going on in that little head of theirs is worth listening to—is something that will work for them. Vocabulary helps here and there, including signs, that a baby gets excited about are no big deal. But a concerted effort to train a baby to use signs is really missing a better picture. 

I love to help kids think on their own! If a kid asks for something and isn't nice about it, instead of saying "come back here and say thank you!" how about saying, "can you think of a way to do that again nicely...?" And let them come up with something. Sometimes we ask Seth to try again nicely and he gets up close to our faces and smiles ridiculously big. Hehe. Other times he asks again with a soft, sweet voice. Other times he says please or thanks. Other times he gives someone a hug or blows a kiss. It's awesome—awesome!—to see a kid think, and make their own choice of action. And, hopefully, the more we can avoid people telling Seth to say the good-mannered thing when he had already chosen something very nice, the more he will have confidence in knowing what it really means to be kind. And maybe, just maybe, the more he grows up and keeps on thinking about things instead of just learning "the rules," the more confidence we'll have that growing up won't turn him into a loser. :) Hehe. And, most definitely, he'll keep teaching us all along the way...! Because kids are great. They see the better picture....

Looking for More?

Has this blog—though wildly entertaining!—disappointed you? Did you google me hoping to find a backstory? Photos? Stories of what I've been up to in the 10 years since you last saw me? And instead, sigh, all you find are random thoughts.... To all you old acquaintances of mine, I have another blog! We've kept one for the last couple of years to keep friends and family up-to-date on our goings-on. Here you will find very few random thoughts, but very many stories and pictures. And it's password-protected. For a limited time, the email address of ralph at byu dot edu will be available to those of you who think you know me and would like the password to our real blog! Woo hoo! But wait, there's MORE! Email within the next 30 minutes, and you'll get not one, but TWO passwords*! That's right. TWO passwords* all for just one email. You can't beat this deal!

*two "passwords" include one username and one password; offer subject to verification that the blog author does, in fact, know who you are

Brainstorming

Ha ha! A few more winning ideas for The Price is Right:

William Shatner.

Ellen DeGeneres.

YES! They'd also be awesome! I'd love to see a screen-test contest between those two and Donny Osmond. Besides, I was thinking, the REAL trick to being a successful Price is Right host is getting your fans to want to make shirts for you. Are people out there making "We [heart] Drew Carey" shirts...? No, not really. And those who do don't really mean it. But Donny Osmond, William Shatner, and Ellen DeGeneres! Now THOSE are some people you can make shirts for! Their fans are wild. And silly. 

It's perfection.

Along that vein, I have one more idea. I have no clue what kind of showman this man is. However, by virtue of his silliness, his cool accent, and the wackiness of his fan base, I think he at least deserves a screen test.... Ringo Starr. 

Hahahaha!!

Well, I've given it my best shot. There's nothing more I can do for you, Price is Right. I hope to see a better host someday! :)

The Price is...not Right :-(

I've always loved The Price is Right! Hehe. Who hasn't? It's so retro and goofy! And the people are just so...excited.... And the prizes! HA! Who wouldn't want to get all nutso bidding for a rug that's been sitting in storage since the 70's? Or a pencil sharpener that looks like Garfield...? That's quality television.

Well, Seth and I watch it every now and then while he eats breakfast (if he's not feeling too motivated to eat, he gets mesmerized enough by The Price is Right to let me shove bites in :)). I was watching today feeling bummed out that Drew Carey isn't getting any better at this job. It's such a travesty! I really enjoy Drew Carey—he was fun on that Power of 10 thing last year, and that improv show (what was it called?!) was a blast. I thought he'd be GREAT on The Price is Right. And different. But he.... Is.... Blah. Blah. Blahhhhhhh.... First of all, his voice gets dwarfed by all the other sounds—kind of like broadway-style American Idol people trying to record over a pop-track (that means YOU, Clay Aiken). Recording artists need bright, bright voices. Apparently, so do hosts of The Price is Right. Or something.... All I know is Drew Carey sounds blah. Second, could he be any less excited? "Ok, so what you need to do here is just pick the price that's wrong. Ok. Go.... And the price is $900. Oh, sorry man. That's really too bad. We'll be back after the commercial everyone." That's not working. Bob Barker must be rolling over in his grave. Or planning to later, I mean.... :) 

I was contemplating this sorry predicament this morning—the demise of the great Price is Right—trying to imagine a suitable replacement for Bob Barker. And it came to me! HA HA HA!!

Ah, yes. It's brilliant! Donny Osmond. Hehehe. Bright voice? Check. Energy? Check. Would know how to sink the inspiration shot on Hole in One, and also effectively pretend it's a surprise that it's really called Hole in TWO? Check! Would love, love, LOVE to pretend he's about to reveal the right price, but then stall some more instead, over and over and over again (instead of how Drew Carey seems to think that trick is pure drudgery...)? Oh, man! Biggest CHECK(!) of all. And would know how to look in the camera and say "WE'LL be...rrrright BACK!" like he darn well means it? Check.

He's the man for the job! Plus, everyone knows there are only two goofy 60's icons whose fans have never lost feverish devotion. One is The Price is Right. And the other is:

It's like they were meant to be! Am I right, or am I right? :) Now, how to get CBS to figure it out?! :) Hehe.