And then....
My eye caught hold of something potentially hilarious. A paper, carefully folded, peeking out of a folder. The exposed part of the paper, as you can see, says: Dangerous it may be
Haha! I was missing some punctuation. What did I mean? Dangerous it may be? I'm intrigued!!
Opening the paper was one of the funnier moments of my life. I SO remember doodling it. And I remember folding it up, and writing the warning: Dangerous! Also, take heed: it MAY be! As in, this is dangerously possible? Also, this is a dangerous thing to contemplate! And a dangerous paper to not burn!!
Inside was my name, doodled over and over and over again, as I often do when I feel like doodling (I have an insatiable desire to doodle sometimes, but no artistic talent, so I sign my name!): Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams, Auburn Williams.
Doesn't sound too funny. Until you remember....
I was not Auburn Williams.
Yet.
I was not even dating a Williams.
I was best friends with a guy named Matt, who now lived in Korea and would not be back until 2001. Was he in love with me? Absolutely. Had he ever admitted it? Hahaha!! Heavens no. Hahaha!! Had we ever flirted with the idea of dating? No. Not at all. His mission took priority over some crush on each other. But, yes, we were the very best of friends, and I loved him, truly deeply loved him. As a friend. ;-)
And to no one but myself, very, very dangerously, I admitted I had perhaps thought of marrying him. And here, 12 years later, tangible proof shows up in an old box of mine with an old folder in it carrying an old piece of paper with the warning: Dangerous it may be!
Well, what might have been now IS. Unless you count my other doodles....
Our children's names!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
First funny thing:
There were five kids.
HAHAHAHA!!
Second funny thing:
I had their ages written down, and a few of them were only 2 years apart. Oh, how my thoughts changed.... :)
Third through seventh funny things:
The names!
HAHAHAHA!!
Here they are, the names of my theoretical future family with my best friend, in order of birth:
Nathaniel Rulon Williams
(We actually hung on to Nathaniel for a middle name for a long while, it being the Hebrew form of the name Matthew. We never wanted to name a kid after Matt, but this seemed like a wonderful little way to go: great meaning, great language, almost named after his Dad but not really. Rulon is Matt's middle name, so I guess Nathaniel Rulon was my nod to Matt in both names. Rulon has never made a name list other than this one! I was surprised to see it here. :))
Emma Caroline Williams
(This is actually quite lovely. Emma dropped from consideration when it popped up to the #1 name in the country, but it's still so cute. And Caroline was on our shortlist of middle names for a long while. If we had had a little girl in 2003, not that we were trying for one that early but we did have a name list going, her name may well have been Mia Caroline Williams! So, I guess it's funny that I thought of a name back then that actually stuck for a little while.)
Christopher Joseph Williams
(Another goodie! Joseph Christopher and Christopher Joseph made it to our shortlist, actually. Not so sure anymore that we like Chris Williams OR Joseph Williams. In theory, yes.... But then we say it and aren't so sure.)
Jonathan Michael Williams
(This name went the way of all the earth long before Matt and I actually got together.)
and, finally, the really terrible one...
Aria Lynn Williams
(HA! What is that?)
Now, those were just the final names! I have other ideas scribbled around! Christopher Michael Williams. Jonathan Michael Williams.
Then I have the heads of the family:
Matthew and Auburn Williams
Dr. Matthew Williams / Auburn Williams
Then I have my signature practiced: Auburn Williams Auburn Williams Auburn Williams
Then I have poor little Aria's ugly signature practiced: Aria Lynn Williams Aria Lynn Williams
Then I have the kids' names all written together, as if to test out: could this be a group?
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
Then, in cursive:
Nathaniel, Emma, Chris, Jon, Aria
I guess I did all this to try to discern or intuit.... Does it feel possible? Hmmm.... Does it?
The answer must have been yes. Because I folded up that paper. Kept it safe. And declared it dangerous. "It may be!!"
4 comments:
that is soooo funny!!! I remember when we all could see how fabulous you two were together even when you couldn't (yet). And I also remember when you asked, "how do you know?" and it was like.... "everybody knows!!!" you two have always been peas in a pod since FHE started. I am impressed with all your intuition since I wasn't sure how much denial you were really in 12 years ago! GREAT STORY!!!!
SO FUNNY! When I was in about 6th grade I thought Jessica Michelle was the most beautiful name in the world and I was sure I would use it for a daughter -- until I told my mom about it and her reaction was unbelievably lukewarm. Now it just sounds like 1982 to me.
this is the best find EVER!!! you have to make multiple photocopies, staple it to a printed version of this blog post and put it your family history documents and other random boxes of stuff your children will one day inherit. they say that once you put something down on paper is has real power! haha! (dream boards, vision boards, etc.). i don;t have either myself, but have been thinking about it. after reading this post, im DEFINITELY doing it! haha! this is the coolest, Auburn. Man I so love you!
Ps - I KNEW you loved Matt - as more than a friend - when we were in London. You denied it left and right, but I could tell...SO glad I was right! ;) The 7/8th's rule was getting kind of old!
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