Thanksgiving

Things I'm grateful for. Seven.... That seems small for a list like this (don't people just love the top-25 or top-50 lists? ;)), but Thanksgiving Day was our 7th Anniversary! My marriage with Matt is the most important thing in my life.... It gets the big fat #1, and here are seven more to celebrate! :)

1) Seth! I love everything about this person. I'd love to fast-forward ten or fifteen years and see if we got the chance to fall this in love with another kiddo or two, but even if we never do, Seth is more miracle than a person should be able to hope for in one life. :) And he's awesome, too! To paraphrase the illustrious Tom Cruise, he completes us. (Haha!) I love my family so much more than I could ever say.

Ok.... With those two big fat #1's, the rest seem pretty silly. But I'll put six more anyway.... :)

2) The ocean. I love, love, love seeing it every day....

3) Waking up every day and assuming I'll spend most of the day outside, and it'll be pretty and pleasant. This keeps me sane! I love being outside!! (And, maybe even more importantly, Seth loves being outside. A happy, not-pent-up Seth also helps keep me sane. Hehe.)

4) Matt's residency program. Sixty-to-One Hundred-hour weeks and all, this program is perfect. They support the residents, they give him a breadth of experience that keeps him happy, they have a variety of excellent hospitals, and his fellow residents are high-quality great people.... With a schedule like this, it makes such a difference to have the perfect program. THANK you, UCSD!

5) The awesome mega-recording of Tosca, featuring the incomparable Andrea Bocelli. I could listen to this for all eternity.... :) (You know it's gonna be good when the best track is a freaking soprano aria.... Andrea Bocelli+Puccini+awesome tenor arias, and Puccini+soprano makes for an even better piece...? That's a recipe for complete bliss through all 45 tracks.... :))

6) The names Seth and Gabriel. If those hadn't existed, I don't know what we would have done for Seth! Consider the fact that in more than seven years of thinking about boy names, we haven't been able to come up with a single other one that we don't loathe on some level. Everyone says we could find something we love if we had to, but I don't think they understand how much we've thought about this and how little success we've had. I'm scared. Hehe.

7) We took a FABULOUS 24 hours sans-kid to celebrate our anniversary in the exotic location of...San Diego. Got a hotel in the gaslamp (and somehow snagged a great room on the top floor! On the view side!), ate INCREDIBLE Indian food, strolled through some beautiful, clean, pleasant downtown areas, strolled along the harbor, and just had a perfect time. I stood in our room looking out at a couple boats in the harbor, Coronado and the ocean beyond the harbor, the trolley going by, a pretty park underneath us, people strolling around together from all different backgrounds and races, the BLUE, blue sky and the green trees, autumn trees, flowers, and even flowering trees, thinking . . . I . . . LOVE . . . this city. Love it, love it, LOVE it. I don't think half a day goes by that we don't mention to each other how grateful we are to live here! Heaven.... (And a heavenly anniversary! :))

So many more things to be grateful for! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of thankfulness and giving thanks and feeling thanks . . . and eating good food. Food that you were thankful for. Hehe. What a great holiday! (Even when it doesn't fall on your anniversary.... :)) Happy Thanksgiving!

Whoa! I found it! What the heck...?

[To all who enjoyed this post (hehe): as always I must refine my statement. Instances in which holding an elevator is perfectly reasonable: when the doors haven't started to close yet and simply holding the doors so they don't start to close will facilitate getting on; when someone has a kid tearing their hair out and you know waiting for another elevator will cause the mother's poor death; when someone has clearly been running to the building in a state of urgency; when someone is in hard labor trying to get to their epidural upstairs (hehe); um...that's all. :) Instances in which it is ridiculous: all of what I mentioned below, including the scenario where the doors are already closing as you come on the scene. Waiting outside for an elevator? Reasonable. Expected. Waiting inside a box while people keep showing up and slamming the door back open...? Abuse!]

That photo comes courtesy of Vanessa Preziose, by the way. Apparently.... :)

And now for a little venting about a pet peeve: when you get in an elevator, and the doors are closing, and someone runs up either motioning for you to open the doors or, even worse, slams into the button or rams their arm through the door to make sure they get on!

:-|

What the heck is that? First of all, they should be embarrassed to act so desperate about something like a stupid elevator. Second of all, the people on the elevator (even if they're making fun of you like the very nice people in the great picture :)) don't deserve to have to wait extra—in a box–so lame-guy (not in the box) doesn't have to wait at all. They already sat and waited for the elevator to come...! So calm down and wait your turn! The worst is when this happens more than once.... Ugh. Doors opening, closing, opening, closing—almost closed! Nope, opening again. Argh!! Will they never close?! This is especially bad when someone runs up like a maniac and then asks for floor 2. Seriously? You made a fool of yourself getting in, and subjected us to the drudgery of the open-close-open-close game [I don't mean open-close while ascending the floors—I mean the open-close game waiting to just finally get going!]—for floor two? And you're not weeping with shame?

And floor two or not, you couldn't wait an extra 30 seconds for the elevator you don't have to inconvenience people for...? Why ever not? You don't care that they're all stuck in a box? You should cry for yourself and your lameness. Oh, the shame! :)

Sometimes . . . . Hehehehehe . . . . When I'm feeling particularly evil . . . . [This story is why fate—or the gods, or whatever—killed this post, I'm convinced.... Haha!] When I see someone looking at me like, "oh, the elevator is almost closed, I don't want to wait, open the door! Open the door!!," I actually make a startled, "oh!" face, and rush for the buttons to, you know, "push the open-door button." [wink, wink] But really.... I don't. HAHAHAHA!! So sinister. Muwahahahaha!! But maybe seeing someone appear to try to pop an almost-closed door open only to get shut in a box a second time for twice as long, all so they don't have to stand in the open air another few moments—someone willing to be that stinking nice over something so unreasonable—helps them through their awful 10-second wait for the next-door elevator. Hehe. (And, really I was thinking.... Come on! You're making a fool of yourself!)

It always amuses me when I approach an elevator that is closing and the people inside all look at me like, "I suppose you want to get on somehow...," and instead we just wait for the doors to close. (I never, ever, NEVER ask people to hold an elevator for me. In fact, when they do it of their own volition, I'm a little disappointed in the inefficiency. Hehe.) I can tell, somewhere inside, they're all thinking: oh, wow—that unusual display totally made my day!! ;) Hehe. Ah, yes, manners: they're even more satisfying than being evil . . . . ;)

Pocket check.

So, you know how when there's a kid in the house, you need to be careful to check pockets before the laundry...? So that you don't end up with crayons in the dryer or something...?

Apparently, weird things can turn up when there's a doctor in the house. I just pulled the laundry out of the washer to put in the dryer . . . and intercepted a spinal needle!

What the...?

Before doing the laundry:

1) Check Seth's pockets for crayons.

2) Check Matt's pockets for spinal tap instruments.

Gotcha.

A better picture than that last one:

But I still wish it were bigger! Oh well. It should make you salivate anyway.

Here is my Thanksgiving present to all of you blog-readers. It's not only my favorite soup recipe of all time.... It's my favorite recipe of all time! Words can't describe.... Mmmmm...!!!

It takes a long, long time to prepare. But, oh is it worth it. I never realized just how much I could love squash, or cardamon, or cranberries, or pecans, until I ate this soup. It's perfection. Enjoy!!

(The Wolfgang Puck website allows you to adjust the serving size, which is kind of cool. It just doesn't have all the recipes together like I have below.)

Savory Squash Soup

Recipe courtesy Wolfgang Puck

Prep Time:30 min [that's a lie... :)]

Cook Time:2 hr 30 min
Level: Intermediate
Serves:
2 quarts

Ingredients
3 3/4 pounds pumpkin or butternut squash [choose the squash, obviously!]
1 acorn squash (about 1 3/4 pounds)
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 white onion (about 4 ounces), peeled, trimmed, and finely diced
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom
4 cups chicken stock or vegetable stock
1 cup heavy cream
1 sprig fresh rosemary

Garnish:
1 recipe cranberry relish, recipe follows
1 recipe cardamom cream, recipe follows
1/2 recipe spiced caramelized pecans, recipe follows
4 tablespoons pumpkin seed oil [I don't think we've ever included this.... But I bet it's good.]

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut each squash in half and discard the seeds. Brush cut sides with 2 tablespoons of melted butter. Season with salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Arrange the squash cut side down on a rack placed in a baking tray and bake until tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Cool, scoop out the insides of the squash, and puree the flesh in a food processor. Reserve. (You should have about 4 cups of pureed squash).

In a medium stockpot, melt the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter. Over low heat, sweat the onion. Do not allow it to brown. Add the pureed squash and cook over very low heat until heated through, stirring occasionally. Do not allow it to bubble up. Season with the salt, pepper, ginger, and cardamom.

Pour in the stock and bring to a boil, still over low heat, stirring often. Cook about 20 minutes.

In a small saucepan, heat the cream with the rosemary sprig. Remove the rosemary and pour the cream into the soup. Transfer to a blender or food processor and process, in batches, for 2 or 3 minutes. Adjust the seasoning, to taste.

To serve, ladle the soup into heated bowls. Place a tablespoon of cranberry relish in the center, top with a dollop of cardamom cream, then sprinkle with chopped pecans. Drizzle pumpkin seed oil over soup.

Note: If desired, bake small squash until tender, scoop out, and use as individual serving bowls.

Cranberry Relish:
2 cups fresh cranberries
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup verjus or 3 tablespoons lemon juice
In a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer. Continue to cook until the mixture is thick and the berries are glazed. Allow to cool. Transfer to a covered container and refrigerate until needed.

Yield: 1 1/3 cups

Spiced Caramelized Pecans:
3 cups peanut oil [um...we ignore the peanut oil part, and just sort of cook up the pecans the way we know how]
2 cups pecan halves
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup sifted confectioners' sugar
In a deep-fryer or a deep pot, heat the oil to 350 degrees. (A deep-frying thermometer can be clipped to the side of the pan so that you can tell when the proper temperature has been reached).

Meanwhile, in a large saucepan bring 2 quarts of water to a boil. Add the pecans and boil for 2 minutes. Drain in a large strainer, shaking off all excess water. Sprinkle the salt and cayenne pepper over the nuts and then coat with the confectioners' sugar, a little at a time, allowing the sugar to melt into the pecans. Toss the nuts by shaking the strainer, adding a little more sugar each time, until all the sugar is used and all the nuts are coated. Do not use hands or a spoon to toss. The nuts should have a glaze of sugar.

Carefully add the nuts to the heated oil, keeping the oil at 350 degrees. Cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove with a slotted spoon to a baking tray to cool.

Yield: 2 cups

Cardamom Cream [this is DIVINE!]:
2 cups heavy cream
1 tablespoon black cardamom seeds
In a small saucepan, bring 1 cup of heavy cream and the cardamom to a boil. Reduce until only 1/4 cup remains. Allow to cool. Reserve.

Whip the remaining 1 cup of heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Stir in the reserved mixture. Chill until ready to serve.

Yield: about 1/4 cup

Say what?

I want to go take a picture of the poster for you to see, but I just can't wait to tell you about the ad we saw yesterday! Hahahaha!! So, there are these burritos at ampm, and they look SO good, let me tell you. Let me show you (sorry it's a small picture):

Delicious looking no? (Yikes.)

And in big letters next to them on a big poster covering the front windows, the most unfortunate ad slogan of all time:

SO NICE

YOU'LL TASTE IT TWICE

Hahahahahaha!!!! Are you dying? We were!

Monkeys.

Seth and I go to the San Diego Zoo a few times a week—it's close by, it's gorgeous, it's safe and fun, it has a free SkyTram ride with an amazing view, and it's a killer place to get some exercise (the hilliness is insane!). Plus.... It's gorgeous. :)

Of all the things I love about the Zoo, though, I think there's one thing that stands out as the most fun:

The monkeys.

Obviously, by that I mean: the people watching the monkeys. Haha! I just love it! People ooh and aahh over lots of animals (and the enclosures at the San Diego Zoo are pretty awesome...), but everyone goes downright wacky over monkeys. The other day we were watching the gorillas from a little secluded part of the enclosure, and from the opposite end kept hearing roaring, hysterical laughter from a crowd of dozens who had gathered in front of the glass. It would be quiet for only a few moments at a time, and then..."HAAAHHHHHHH!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! WWWWAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAAAA!!"

I'm telling you.... It was hilarious! People-turned-monkeys watching monkeys (or gorillas... :)). There we were all by ourselves, and I'm laughing my head off at the crowd—it was impossible not to. We finally went over to see what all the excitement was about, and the baby gorilla was dancing for everyone—interrupting himself sometimes to go chase down an adult and try to climb all over them before they pummeled him back to the ground like he was a total pest.

The gibbons, the orangutans, all those monkeys with the long arms.... You know where to find them because you hear people laughing together hysterically. And when you see them, it's a whole lot of shiny, happy people pressed against the glass. :) There's just something so intoxicating about these cute, little, smart, hairy things who can swing from trees like we only wish we could, but who otherwise seem so much like...us....

People are lying if they say the monkeys aren't their favorite! Everyone's in love with monkeys. :)

Silliness, then and now! ;)

Thanks to my handy-dandy day calculator, and the good luck to have looked at it on just the right day, we celebrated another milestone a couple weeks ago:

4000 days since we met! Haha!

The anniversary of which is actually in a couple days.

I was 17. Matt was 18. Such children!

After spending the evening trying to pelt another car with snowballs and get my window rolled up before they could pelt me (yes, I was the passenger—and yes, I already admitted to being a child), I was hanging out with some buddies in the lobby of my dorm. And, at some point in all this, someone introduced me to "Chris and Matt," who were also hanging out with buddies in the same lobby. (Chris is Matt's childhood/high school best friend and also—completely randomly assigned out of thousands of students if you can believe it! It was so crazy!—his roommate that year in the dorms. Still one of my—our—favorite people ever. Hey, Chris, I've known you for 4000 days! Hahaha!!!)

We sort of a little bit ticked some people off by becoming so engrossed in conversation—Chris, Matt, and I—that we sort of forgot we had previously been engaged with other people. Oops. :) Water under the bridge.... Besides, two soul-mates had found their "other half." Haha! If the world hadn't melted away, that would have been pitiful. Pitiful! ;-)

We talked for a couple hours—until the witching hour when the sexes weren't allowed to be together except in the frigid cold outside or, pathetically, in Food-4-Less. (Our college town was sooooo lame that the only two places open late were Denny's and Food-4-Less!) I remember back in my dorm room that night, writing my best friend Kendra: "I just met the two coolest guys EVER! If we had known them in high school, they would have been our best, best friends—they'd have loved all the stuff we loved to do! They're! So! AWESOME!!!" And, the clincher: "Man, I sure I hope I get a chance to talk to them again. I just feel like they could be such good friends."

I hope I get a chance to talk to Matt again...!! Hahaha!! Eleven years and this little thing called marriage later, here we are....

Highlights of our epic conversation that night:

I had seen Matt for the first time in my life only the day before when he sang a solo in church. My impression through the whole thing was that, wow, I'm intuiting that this guy is totally miserable. He is hating singing this song! (My other impression was that, wow, what a cheesy song. Haha! But I enjoyed that I could tell he hated it, too. :)) So right off when we were introduced I said, "hey! You sang in church yesterday!" Paving the way for the very first thing Matt would ever say to me to be a big...fat...eye-roll.... Haha! He amused me from the start. :)

We discussed the superiority of Dawn Upshaw, and the dreadfulness of many other female singers. Yessss.... (I couldn't believe I'd met someone who actually knew who Dawn Upshaw is. Heaven....)

We discussed so many great movies! Movies my other guy friends had always insisted were not ok for guys to enjoy. Haha! I kept testing them on it, each time just sure they'd finally fail my test and say, "ick! Chick flick!!"

"Ok.... You're going to say you hate it.... But what about.... [I brace myself.] ... Anne of Green Gables?"

This was one of my favorite moments. Matt and Chris look at each other, and without missing a beat! Not one beat!!

Matt: "You little know how utterly wretched I am!!"

Chris: "What if I told you you're fat! Ugly! And a sour old gossip!!"

Hahahaha!!

A few minutes later, I dared to venture into totally futile territory. "Ok, I've been told no straight guy would ever, ever enjoy this movie.... But what about.... Sense and Sensibility?!!"

They look at each other and frown, and I think, ah, it's over. They shrug in unison and Matt says, "eh...." Darn!

"I've seen better Jane Austen...."

HAHAHAHA!!! So they start quoting Pride and Prejudice to me, which I couldn't really enjoy since I hadn't seen it yet, but it was all just so hilarious still. I wanted to go back to all my old guy-friends and say, SEE! See?!! (The funny thing, though, is that it turned out Chris actually isn't straight! Haha! There's still Matt to prove them all wrong. :))

We talked food. We talked concerts and concert venues (don't go to something at Red Rocks unless you're ok with pot, apparently...). We talked composers and operas. We talked films.

And Matt fell in love with me. Seriously. That very night.

And I so could tell.... :)

Three years later, he finally got to tell me he loved me.

It was four years later that he got to marry me.

And it was eleven years later that we . . . went out to Cost Plus on our way back from his mouse lab, with Seth telling me all about the oxygen tanks he saw in the lab, and the shot they gave the mouse, and me telling Matt how while I waited in the car I had noticed on the day-counter on my phone that we had known each other exactly 4000 days today. So Matt bought "a surprise" to celebrate. Turned out to be some sparkling cider that was super-gingery and incredibly excellent. Mmmmm...!!!! Exciting, I know. (It really was so good, though. :)) Haha! Too, too funny. Surprise cider. To celebrate days counted up by your phone.

It's the silly little things that count.... ;-) Still. :)

99 hours....

Residency sucks!!

Not really.... Hehe. But when we say that we're actually enjoying it, people make the mistake of thinking (wha...?) it's easy.... (Seriously? You really think so?) Same thing happened in medical school, which we also enjoyed instead of endured.

I was driving Matt to work this morning (at 6:15 which, believe me, feels a lot better than the times he has to be there at 5:30—whenever he gets to start work at 7:00 or later, it feels downright luxurious) and, as I counted the seconds until I could get back home and crawl back in bed, I marveled for the billionth time that Matt just keeps on doing this. (I would die.) He works like crazy...! He wakes up early in the morning and goes to bed late at night. He goes to conferences on a daily basis to (gulp!) learn even more things, he studies medical literature, and he does research of his own (inducing pulmonary hypertension in mice isn't easy, it turns out!). He tends to bunches of sick kids and babies all day (and sometimes all night and day again...), picks up their nasty germs occasionally, and comforts their parents. 

And he doesn't mess up life by letting all of that get him stressed—and doesn't even come home from his 32-hour shifts and sleep all day (he plays with us instead! Nice...!). He keeps it fun. And has fun. And it's made what could have been a really difficult six years a whole lot of interesting instead. :)

I was marveling at his lack of tantrum this morning, knowing how tired he must be and how long a day he'll have, and I decided I needed to defend this man's honor! Hehe. So here's me dispelling the notion that, for Matt, "it's just so easy." :)

Take this week, for instance. A typical week, even. From this past Sunday until this upcoming Saturday, I counted up that he'll likely log 99 hours. It made me laugh earlier this week when he went to work Sunday morning. Both of us were exultant that, "ah, no big deal, it's just going in for rounds in the morning." Practically a non-work day! He went in at 6:15 in the morning, prepped for rounds, then had rounds, then got out as fast as he could. He left the hospital on this virtual "day off" at a glorious 1:30 in the afternoon. It was still a 7.5-hour workday! Hahaha!! And it didn't even occur to me until later that it was much of a workday at all. You know you work hard when you practically skip back home after working "only" 7.5 hours—when you're tempted to call it almost a "day off." 

The next day he went in to work at 6 in the morning, worked all day, worked all night (admitting kids, not sleeping one bit...), rounded the next morning and came home at 1:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday to take a shower and go to the Wild Animal Park with me and Seth. Went to bed. Got up to go to work at 6 again, and worked until 6 in the evening. (Only a month or two ago, we would have gone to the beach for the evening, but now with this infernal time change the sun is already down. Sigh. It makes a 12-hour workday seem so much longer than it used to!) Today: in at 6 again. Tomorrow: 6-6. Saturday, in at 6, out on Sunday afternoon. Day off? Monday! Finally.... :)

Now don't let me hear anyone say anymore that Matt is getting off easy! Or so help me...!! Hehe.

Yes, we're having fun. And, yes, med school was (gasp!) fun, too. 

Want to know the secret? :)

He loves it! How else are you going to survive a 32-hour shift in a good mood? (I even watched the clock on 6-hour shifts, in work I really, really liked! 32 hours? You kidding me?) He loves kids. He loves working with their parents. He loves medicine. 

Another secret: he even loves the learning environment. A lot of med students and residents get majorly stressed because they've never been in a situation where people are frequently telling them they're screwing up. Think about it: they're a whole bunch of overachievers who were always model students and model whatever else. Now they get immersed in this work they don't know that much about, with attendings in charge of educating them on-the-job. You can imagine that sometimes an attending comes around who isn't delicate when he/she says: "you sucked that up, kiddo! It's really like this." One of the best personality traits for this whole experience has been that Matt actually enjoys the teaching environment, appreciates direction however it comes, and isn't at all concerned—in the least—with looking like he doesn't need to be corrected. Every time he's worked with an attending who is notoriously "difficult," in med school and now, he's had a uniquely great experience with them, felt like he learned a lot and, in turn, earned their respect and formed a great (if sometimes kind of strange... :)) relationship. Erases a lot of potential stress!

Add all that to his being so accustomed to being sleep-deprived (he has spent his whole life unable to sleep about one night in four or five because of a totally bizarre condition—something to do with hypothalamus damage, probably), to his general tendency to shirk stress, his cleverness in minimizing superfluous workload (he's seriously a genius at knowing what needs to be overdone and what doesn't... :)), and his determination to make his family-time his top priority, and you get 99-hour workweeks that aren't so bad.... :)

So, ok, you're not going to hear us complain much about how terrible residency life is. But this man works so, so hard. And the world needs to know it! Thank the Lord he's in a career he loves so much, so that we can survive this path so well. It's truly a blessing. :)

[This is me grinning cutely now at Matt rolling his eyes at me for writing this post. Hehe. :-* Muah!]

The Love of God

Every six months, our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) holds a worldwide meeting so we can all "gather" together (satellite broadcasts are handy that way :)) and hear from the leaders of the Church. It's always an inspiring set of meetings, which is good since it's always 8-10 hours total. Yes. Eight to ten hours. Hehe. (Mormons have a love affair with meetings. If you could take all the hours of meetings in the whole wide world, and put them all in a jar.... A Mormon would come steal the jar and insist on keeping them all to himself! Haha!)

Every now and then, a talk (or sermon, really...) comes along that Matt and I, after restraining a few enthusiastic "Hallelujahs!," figure should be stapled to every member of the Church. Hehe. We have a good little list going: Elder Ballard's "people not programs" talk; Elder Nelson's "Nurturing Marriage" talk (one of the best, most needed quotes of all time: "As I meet with priesthood leaders, I often ask about the priorities of their various responsibilities. Usually [surprise...] they mention their important Church duties to which they have been called. Too few remember their responsibilities at home. Yet priesthood offices, keys, callings, and quorums are meant to exalt families. Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally. So brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children." HALLELUJAH!!!!!). Maybe I'll put a list of all our favorites sometime.

The reason we joke about stapling them to people is not necessarily because the talk was so good, but because some of the ideas in the talk are fairly novel in our culture—and so needed. We get in a habit of recycling the same ol' phrases and ideas—how many times have we all heard a bishop get up and say, "My wife has felt like a single mother while I've been the bishop. [the congregation laughs] But she knows this call is from God, and was willing to pick up the slack at home while I served the Lord, and has been such an example to our children of faithfulness, and I couldn't have done it without her. [ugh]"—and every now and then one of the leaders of the Church puts an old idea that we're not actually thinking about on its head (see above Elder Nelson quote again! So good.... You "serve the Lord" in your families—particularly your marriage—even more than in the Church! Hallelujah! Staple it to everyone! :)).

Sometimes it's not so much a revolutionary idea as just a simple, beautiful, somewhat-lost way of talking about some wonderful truth. And we should staple it ourselves. Hehe. So we can be reminded often....

Well, this last Conference had what has to be my favorite talk I've ever, ever heard. (And Matt says he agrees—his favorite ever.) Elder Uchtdorf (in the Presidency of the Church) was already our all-time hero—every time he says even a single word, I feel to thank God all over again that he's the one in his calling! We love him. Love him, love him, love him. Times a million now for this perfect, perfect talk. 

Please read it (again, or for the first time :)). If we could staple it to every one, we could actually unstaple all the rest. This points us, like Christ did, away from the exhaustive list of "shoulds" and "should-nots" and to the things that really matter. And, like he says in the talk, if we really internalized those couple of things, all the rest would fall into place. God loves us! And we must love Him! It's all that matters. I keep wanting to say more, but this talk speaks for itself. And I say...Hallelujah! Amen! If you've ever wondered what it is that I believe, this is it.

The Love of God

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continually growing and becoming better known throughout the world. Although there will always be those who stereotype the Church and its members in a negative way, most people think of us as honest, helpful, and hardworking. Some have images of clean-cut missionaries, loving families, and friendly neighbors who don’t smoke or drink. We might also be known as a people who attend church every Sunday for three hours, in a place where everyone is a brother or a sister, where the children sing songs about streams that talk, trees that produce popcorn, and children who want to become sunbeams. [He smiled at this, and added that he loves that song. :)]

Brothers and sisters, of all the things we want to be known for, are there attributes above all others that should define us as members of His Church, even as disciples of Jesus Christ? Since our last general conference six months ago, I have pondered this and similar questions. Today I would like to share with you some thoughts and impressions that have come as a result of that inquiry. The first question is:

How Do We Become True Disciples of Jesus Christ?

The Savior Himself provided the answer with this profound declaration: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”1 This is the essence of what it means to be a true disciple: those who receive Christ Jesus walk with Him.2

But this may present a problem for some because there are so many “shoulds” and “should nots” that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of “good ideas.” [Amen!]

This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious “experts” of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.3

So how do we stay aligned with these weightier matters? Is there a constant compass that can help us prioritize our lives, thoughts, and actions? Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” He said. “This is the first and great commandment.”4 Coupled with the second great commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves5—we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.
When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden. [:-)]

Why Should We Love God?
God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. [Yes!] His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God! [Amen!]
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.
We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. What and how we love not only defines us as individuals; it also defines us as a church. Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ.

Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things.

And the greatest of all good things is God.

Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, much more than any mortal mind can comprehend. Under His direction the Great Jehovah created this wondrous world we live in. God the Father watches over us, fills our hearts with breathtaking joy, brightens our darkest hours with blessed peace, distills upon our minds precious truths, shepherds us through times of distress, rejoices when we rejoice, and answers our righteous petitions.

He offers to His children the promise of a glorious and infinite existence and has provided a way for us to progress in knowledge and glory until we receive a fulness of joy. He has promised us all that He has.

If all that is not enough reason to love our Heavenly Father, perhaps we can learn from the words of the Apostle John, who said, “We love him, because he first loved us.”6

Why Does Heavenly Father Love Us?
Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.7

God does not look on the outward appearance.8 I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.
He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. [Amen, Amen!]

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.9

How Can We Increase Our Love of God?
Since “God is love,”10 the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love.11 But because a veil separates this mortality from our heavenly home, we must seek in the Spirit that which is imperceptible to mortal eyes.

Heaven may seem distant at times, but the scriptures offer hope: “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”12

However, seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.”13 We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”14

We increase our love for our Heavenly Father and demonstrate that love by aligning our thoughts and actions with God’s word. His pure love directs and encourages us to become more pure and holy. It inspires us to walk in righteousness—not out of fear or obligation but out of an earnest desire to become even more like Him because we love Him. By doing so, we can become “born again . . . [and] cleansed by blood, even the blood of [the] Only Begotten; that [we] might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory.”15

My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you.

How Can We Hear the Father’s Voice?
As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere.

As you read God’s word recorded in the scriptures, listen for His voice.

During this general conference and later as you study the words spoken here, listen for His voice.

As you visit the temple and attend Church meetings, listen for His voice.

Listen for the voice of the Father in the bounties and beauties of nature, in the gentle whisperings of the Spirit.

In your daily interactions with others, in the words of a hymn, in the laughter of a child, listen for His voice.

If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ.

As we draw near to Heavenly Father, we become more holy. And as we become more holy, we will overcome disbelief and our souls will be filled with His blessed light. As we align our lives with this supernal light, it leads us out of darkness and toward greater light. This greater light leads to the unspeakable ministerings of the Holy Spirit, and the veil between heaven and earth can become thin.

Why Is Love the Great Commandment?
Heavenly Father’s love for His children is the core message of the plan of happiness, which plan is made active through the Atonement of Jesus Christ—the greatest expression of love the world has ever known.16

How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love.17 If we do not neglect the great laws—if we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—all else will fall into place.
The divine love of God turns ordinary acts into extraordinary service. Divine love is the motive that transports simple words into sacred scripture. Divine love is the factor that transforms reluctant compliance with God’s commandments into blessed dedication and consecration.
Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder.

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.

Love is the way of the disciple.

I testify that God is in His heaven. He lives. He knows and loves you. He is mindful of you. He hears your prayers and knows the desires of your heart. He is filled with infinite love for you.
Let me conclude as I began, my dear brothers and sisters: what attribute should define us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Let us be known as a people who love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and who love our neighbor as ourselves. When we understand and practice these two great commandments in our families, in our wards and branches, in our nations, and in our daily lives, we will begin to understand what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus the Christ. Of this I testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES
1. John 14:15.
2. See Colossians 2:6.
3. See Matthew 23:23.
4. Matthew 22:37, 38.
5. See Matthew 22:39.
6. 1 John 4:19.
7. See Isaiah 54:10; Jeremiah 31:3.
8. See 1 Samuel 16:7.
9. See D&C 88:63.
10. 1 John 4:8.
11. See Romans 5:5; 1 John 4:7, 16.
12. Jeremiah 29:13.
13. 1 John 5:3; see also 2 John 1:6.
14. 1 John 2:4; see also Isaiah 29:13.
15. Moses 6:59.
16. See John 15:13.
17. See Matthew 22:40.

I can't say Amen enough. :) Beautiful.

(Also, just one more little bit of commentary.... I think one of the most profound moments of the entire conference for me was when he said: "We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love...." I've always believed people are fundamentally good, as we are all God's children. But I don't think I had ever considered that His great attribute—His perfect love—is a heritage I have inherited somewhere in there. Love, yes. Love like His love...? A capacity for love that is vast...? Because I'm created in the image of God.... My soul was filled with the truthfulness of those words! All of us "are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love....")