Silliness, then and now! ;)

Thanks to my handy-dandy day calculator, and the good luck to have looked at it on just the right day, we celebrated another milestone a couple weeks ago:

4000 days since we met! Haha!

The anniversary of which is actually in a couple days.

I was 17. Matt was 18. Such children!

After spending the evening trying to pelt another car with snowballs and get my window rolled up before they could pelt me (yes, I was the passenger—and yes, I already admitted to being a child), I was hanging out with some buddies in the lobby of my dorm. And, at some point in all this, someone introduced me to "Chris and Matt," who were also hanging out with buddies in the same lobby. (Chris is Matt's childhood/high school best friend and also—completely randomly assigned out of thousands of students if you can believe it! It was so crazy!—his roommate that year in the dorms. Still one of my—our—favorite people ever. Hey, Chris, I've known you for 4000 days! Hahaha!!!)

We sort of a little bit ticked some people off by becoming so engrossed in conversation—Chris, Matt, and I—that we sort of forgot we had previously been engaged with other people. Oops. :) Water under the bridge.... Besides, two soul-mates had found their "other half." Haha! If the world hadn't melted away, that would have been pitiful. Pitiful! ;-)

We talked for a couple hours—until the witching hour when the sexes weren't allowed to be together except in the frigid cold outside or, pathetically, in Food-4-Less. (Our college town was sooooo lame that the only two places open late were Denny's and Food-4-Less!) I remember back in my dorm room that night, writing my best friend Kendra: "I just met the two coolest guys EVER! If we had known them in high school, they would have been our best, best friends—they'd have loved all the stuff we loved to do! They're! So! AWESOME!!!" And, the clincher: "Man, I sure I hope I get a chance to talk to them again. I just feel like they could be such good friends."

I hope I get a chance to talk to Matt again...!! Hahaha!! Eleven years and this little thing called marriage later, here we are....

Highlights of our epic conversation that night:

I had seen Matt for the first time in my life only the day before when he sang a solo in church. My impression through the whole thing was that, wow, I'm intuiting that this guy is totally miserable. He is hating singing this song! (My other impression was that, wow, what a cheesy song. Haha! But I enjoyed that I could tell he hated it, too. :)) So right off when we were introduced I said, "hey! You sang in church yesterday!" Paving the way for the very first thing Matt would ever say to me to be a big...fat...eye-roll.... Haha! He amused me from the start. :)

We discussed the superiority of Dawn Upshaw, and the dreadfulness of many other female singers. Yessss.... (I couldn't believe I'd met someone who actually knew who Dawn Upshaw is. Heaven....)

We discussed so many great movies! Movies my other guy friends had always insisted were not ok for guys to enjoy. Haha! I kept testing them on it, each time just sure they'd finally fail my test and say, "ick! Chick flick!!"

"Ok.... You're going to say you hate it.... But what about.... [I brace myself.] ... Anne of Green Gables?"

This was one of my favorite moments. Matt and Chris look at each other, and without missing a beat! Not one beat!!

Matt: "You little know how utterly wretched I am!!"

Chris: "What if I told you you're fat! Ugly! And a sour old gossip!!"

Hahahaha!!

A few minutes later, I dared to venture into totally futile territory. "Ok, I've been told no straight guy would ever, ever enjoy this movie.... But what about.... Sense and Sensibility?!!"

They look at each other and frown, and I think, ah, it's over. They shrug in unison and Matt says, "eh...." Darn!

"I've seen better Jane Austen...."

HAHAHAHA!!! So they start quoting Pride and Prejudice to me, which I couldn't really enjoy since I hadn't seen it yet, but it was all just so hilarious still. I wanted to go back to all my old guy-friends and say, SEE! See?!! (The funny thing, though, is that it turned out Chris actually isn't straight! Haha! There's still Matt to prove them all wrong. :))

We talked food. We talked concerts and concert venues (don't go to something at Red Rocks unless you're ok with pot, apparently...). We talked composers and operas. We talked films.

And Matt fell in love with me. Seriously. That very night.

And I so could tell.... :)

Three years later, he finally got to tell me he loved me.

It was four years later that he got to marry me.

And it was eleven years later that we . . . went out to Cost Plus on our way back from his mouse lab, with Seth telling me all about the oxygen tanks he saw in the lab, and the shot they gave the mouse, and me telling Matt how while I waited in the car I had noticed on the day-counter on my phone that we had known each other exactly 4000 days today. So Matt bought "a surprise" to celebrate. Turned out to be some sparkling cider that was super-gingery and incredibly excellent. Mmmmm...!!!! Exciting, I know. (It really was so good, though. :)) Haha! Too, too funny. Surprise cider. To celebrate days counted up by your phone.

It's the silly little things that count.... ;-) Still. :)

99 hours....

Residency sucks!!

Not really.... Hehe. But when we say that we're actually enjoying it, people make the mistake of thinking (wha...?) it's easy.... (Seriously? You really think so?) Same thing happened in medical school, which we also enjoyed instead of endured.

I was driving Matt to work this morning (at 6:15 which, believe me, feels a lot better than the times he has to be there at 5:30—whenever he gets to start work at 7:00 or later, it feels downright luxurious) and, as I counted the seconds until I could get back home and crawl back in bed, I marveled for the billionth time that Matt just keeps on doing this. (I would die.) He works like crazy...! He wakes up early in the morning and goes to bed late at night. He goes to conferences on a daily basis to (gulp!) learn even more things, he studies medical literature, and he does research of his own (inducing pulmonary hypertension in mice isn't easy, it turns out!). He tends to bunches of sick kids and babies all day (and sometimes all night and day again...), picks up their nasty germs occasionally, and comforts their parents. 

And he doesn't mess up life by letting all of that get him stressed—and doesn't even come home from his 32-hour shifts and sleep all day (he plays with us instead! Nice...!). He keeps it fun. And has fun. And it's made what could have been a really difficult six years a whole lot of interesting instead. :)

I was marveling at his lack of tantrum this morning, knowing how tired he must be and how long a day he'll have, and I decided I needed to defend this man's honor! Hehe. So here's me dispelling the notion that, for Matt, "it's just so easy." :)

Take this week, for instance. A typical week, even. From this past Sunday until this upcoming Saturday, I counted up that he'll likely log 99 hours. It made me laugh earlier this week when he went to work Sunday morning. Both of us were exultant that, "ah, no big deal, it's just going in for rounds in the morning." Practically a non-work day! He went in at 6:15 in the morning, prepped for rounds, then had rounds, then got out as fast as he could. He left the hospital on this virtual "day off" at a glorious 1:30 in the afternoon. It was still a 7.5-hour workday! Hahaha!! And it didn't even occur to me until later that it was much of a workday at all. You know you work hard when you practically skip back home after working "only" 7.5 hours—when you're tempted to call it almost a "day off." 

The next day he went in to work at 6 in the morning, worked all day, worked all night (admitting kids, not sleeping one bit...), rounded the next morning and came home at 1:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday to take a shower and go to the Wild Animal Park with me and Seth. Went to bed. Got up to go to work at 6 again, and worked until 6 in the evening. (Only a month or two ago, we would have gone to the beach for the evening, but now with this infernal time change the sun is already down. Sigh. It makes a 12-hour workday seem so much longer than it used to!) Today: in at 6 again. Tomorrow: 6-6. Saturday, in at 6, out on Sunday afternoon. Day off? Monday! Finally.... :)

Now don't let me hear anyone say anymore that Matt is getting off easy! Or so help me...!! Hehe.

Yes, we're having fun. And, yes, med school was (gasp!) fun, too. 

Want to know the secret? :)

He loves it! How else are you going to survive a 32-hour shift in a good mood? (I even watched the clock on 6-hour shifts, in work I really, really liked! 32 hours? You kidding me?) He loves kids. He loves working with their parents. He loves medicine. 

Another secret: he even loves the learning environment. A lot of med students and residents get majorly stressed because they've never been in a situation where people are frequently telling them they're screwing up. Think about it: they're a whole bunch of overachievers who were always model students and model whatever else. Now they get immersed in this work they don't know that much about, with attendings in charge of educating them on-the-job. You can imagine that sometimes an attending comes around who isn't delicate when he/she says: "you sucked that up, kiddo! It's really like this." One of the best personality traits for this whole experience has been that Matt actually enjoys the teaching environment, appreciates direction however it comes, and isn't at all concerned—in the least—with looking like he doesn't need to be corrected. Every time he's worked with an attending who is notoriously "difficult," in med school and now, he's had a uniquely great experience with them, felt like he learned a lot and, in turn, earned their respect and formed a great (if sometimes kind of strange... :)) relationship. Erases a lot of potential stress!

Add all that to his being so accustomed to being sleep-deprived (he has spent his whole life unable to sleep about one night in four or five because of a totally bizarre condition—something to do with hypothalamus damage, probably), to his general tendency to shirk stress, his cleverness in minimizing superfluous workload (he's seriously a genius at knowing what needs to be overdone and what doesn't... :)), and his determination to make his family-time his top priority, and you get 99-hour workweeks that aren't so bad.... :)

So, ok, you're not going to hear us complain much about how terrible residency life is. But this man works so, so hard. And the world needs to know it! Thank the Lord he's in a career he loves so much, so that we can survive this path so well. It's truly a blessing. :)

[This is me grinning cutely now at Matt rolling his eyes at me for writing this post. Hehe. :-* Muah!]

The Love of God

Every six months, our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) holds a worldwide meeting so we can all "gather" together (satellite broadcasts are handy that way :)) and hear from the leaders of the Church. It's always an inspiring set of meetings, which is good since it's always 8-10 hours total. Yes. Eight to ten hours. Hehe. (Mormons have a love affair with meetings. If you could take all the hours of meetings in the whole wide world, and put them all in a jar.... A Mormon would come steal the jar and insist on keeping them all to himself! Haha!)

Every now and then, a talk (or sermon, really...) comes along that Matt and I, after restraining a few enthusiastic "Hallelujahs!," figure should be stapled to every member of the Church. Hehe. We have a good little list going: Elder Ballard's "people not programs" talk; Elder Nelson's "Nurturing Marriage" talk (one of the best, most needed quotes of all time: "As I meet with priesthood leaders, I often ask about the priorities of their various responsibilities. Usually [surprise...] they mention their important Church duties to which they have been called. Too few remember their responsibilities at home. Yet priesthood offices, keys, callings, and quorums are meant to exalt families. Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally. So brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children." HALLELUJAH!!!!!). Maybe I'll put a list of all our favorites sometime.

The reason we joke about stapling them to people is not necessarily because the talk was so good, but because some of the ideas in the talk are fairly novel in our culture—and so needed. We get in a habit of recycling the same ol' phrases and ideas—how many times have we all heard a bishop get up and say, "My wife has felt like a single mother while I've been the bishop. [the congregation laughs] But she knows this call is from God, and was willing to pick up the slack at home while I served the Lord, and has been such an example to our children of faithfulness, and I couldn't have done it without her. [ugh]"—and every now and then one of the leaders of the Church puts an old idea that we're not actually thinking about on its head (see above Elder Nelson quote again! So good.... You "serve the Lord" in your families—particularly your marriage—even more than in the Church! Hallelujah! Staple it to everyone! :)).

Sometimes it's not so much a revolutionary idea as just a simple, beautiful, somewhat-lost way of talking about some wonderful truth. And we should staple it ourselves. Hehe. So we can be reminded often....

Well, this last Conference had what has to be my favorite talk I've ever, ever heard. (And Matt says he agrees—his favorite ever.) Elder Uchtdorf (in the Presidency of the Church) was already our all-time hero—every time he says even a single word, I feel to thank God all over again that he's the one in his calling! We love him. Love him, love him, love him. Times a million now for this perfect, perfect talk. 

Please read it (again, or for the first time :)). If we could staple it to every one, we could actually unstaple all the rest. This points us, like Christ did, away from the exhaustive list of "shoulds" and "should-nots" and to the things that really matter. And, like he says in the talk, if we really internalized those couple of things, all the rest would fall into place. God loves us! And we must love Him! It's all that matters. I keep wanting to say more, but this talk speaks for itself. And I say...Hallelujah! Amen! If you've ever wondered what it is that I believe, this is it.

The Love of God

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continually growing and becoming better known throughout the world. Although there will always be those who stereotype the Church and its members in a negative way, most people think of us as honest, helpful, and hardworking. Some have images of clean-cut missionaries, loving families, and friendly neighbors who don’t smoke or drink. We might also be known as a people who attend church every Sunday for three hours, in a place where everyone is a brother or a sister, where the children sing songs about streams that talk, trees that produce popcorn, and children who want to become sunbeams. [He smiled at this, and added that he loves that song. :)]

Brothers and sisters, of all the things we want to be known for, are there attributes above all others that should define us as members of His Church, even as disciples of Jesus Christ? Since our last general conference six months ago, I have pondered this and similar questions. Today I would like to share with you some thoughts and impressions that have come as a result of that inquiry. The first question is:

How Do We Become True Disciples of Jesus Christ?

The Savior Himself provided the answer with this profound declaration: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”1 This is the essence of what it means to be a true disciple: those who receive Christ Jesus walk with Him.2

But this may present a problem for some because there are so many “shoulds” and “should nots” that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of “good ideas.” [Amen!]

This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious “experts” of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.3

So how do we stay aligned with these weightier matters? Is there a constant compass that can help us prioritize our lives, thoughts, and actions? Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” He said. “This is the first and great commandment.”4 Coupled with the second great commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves5—we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.
When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden. [:-)]

Why Should We Love God?
God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. [Yes!] His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God! [Amen!]
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.
We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. What and how we love not only defines us as individuals; it also defines us as a church. Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ.

Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things.

And the greatest of all good things is God.

Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, much more than any mortal mind can comprehend. Under His direction the Great Jehovah created this wondrous world we live in. God the Father watches over us, fills our hearts with breathtaking joy, brightens our darkest hours with blessed peace, distills upon our minds precious truths, shepherds us through times of distress, rejoices when we rejoice, and answers our righteous petitions.

He offers to His children the promise of a glorious and infinite existence and has provided a way for us to progress in knowledge and glory until we receive a fulness of joy. He has promised us all that He has.

If all that is not enough reason to love our Heavenly Father, perhaps we can learn from the words of the Apostle John, who said, “We love him, because he first loved us.”6

Why Does Heavenly Father Love Us?
Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.7

God does not look on the outward appearance.8 I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.
He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. [Amen, Amen!]

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.9

How Can We Increase Our Love of God?
Since “God is love,”10 the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love.11 But because a veil separates this mortality from our heavenly home, we must seek in the Spirit that which is imperceptible to mortal eyes.

Heaven may seem distant at times, but the scriptures offer hope: “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”12

However, seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.”13 We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”14

We increase our love for our Heavenly Father and demonstrate that love by aligning our thoughts and actions with God’s word. His pure love directs and encourages us to become more pure and holy. It inspires us to walk in righteousness—not out of fear or obligation but out of an earnest desire to become even more like Him because we love Him. By doing so, we can become “born again . . . [and] cleansed by blood, even the blood of [the] Only Begotten; that [we] might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory.”15

My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you.

How Can We Hear the Father’s Voice?
As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere.

As you read God’s word recorded in the scriptures, listen for His voice.

During this general conference and later as you study the words spoken here, listen for His voice.

As you visit the temple and attend Church meetings, listen for His voice.

Listen for the voice of the Father in the bounties and beauties of nature, in the gentle whisperings of the Spirit.

In your daily interactions with others, in the words of a hymn, in the laughter of a child, listen for His voice.

If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ.

As we draw near to Heavenly Father, we become more holy. And as we become more holy, we will overcome disbelief and our souls will be filled with His blessed light. As we align our lives with this supernal light, it leads us out of darkness and toward greater light. This greater light leads to the unspeakable ministerings of the Holy Spirit, and the veil between heaven and earth can become thin.

Why Is Love the Great Commandment?
Heavenly Father’s love for His children is the core message of the plan of happiness, which plan is made active through the Atonement of Jesus Christ—the greatest expression of love the world has ever known.16

How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love.17 If we do not neglect the great laws—if we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—all else will fall into place.
The divine love of God turns ordinary acts into extraordinary service. Divine love is the motive that transports simple words into sacred scripture. Divine love is the factor that transforms reluctant compliance with God’s commandments into blessed dedication and consecration.
Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder.

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.

Love is the way of the disciple.

I testify that God is in His heaven. He lives. He knows and loves you. He is mindful of you. He hears your prayers and knows the desires of your heart. He is filled with infinite love for you.
Let me conclude as I began, my dear brothers and sisters: what attribute should define us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Let us be known as a people who love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and who love our neighbor as ourselves. When we understand and practice these two great commandments in our families, in our wards and branches, in our nations, and in our daily lives, we will begin to understand what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus the Christ. Of this I testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES
1. John 14:15.
2. See Colossians 2:6.
3. See Matthew 23:23.
4. Matthew 22:37, 38.
5. See Matthew 22:39.
6. 1 John 4:19.
7. See Isaiah 54:10; Jeremiah 31:3.
8. See 1 Samuel 16:7.
9. See D&C 88:63.
10. 1 John 4:8.
11. See Romans 5:5; 1 John 4:7, 16.
12. Jeremiah 29:13.
13. 1 John 5:3; see also 2 John 1:6.
14. 1 John 2:4; see also Isaiah 29:13.
15. Moses 6:59.
16. See John 15:13.
17. See Matthew 22:40.

I can't say Amen enough. :) Beautiful.

(Also, just one more little bit of commentary.... I think one of the most profound moments of the entire conference for me was when he said: "We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love...." I've always believed people are fundamentally good, as we are all God's children. But I don't think I had ever considered that His great attribute—His perfect love—is a heritage I have inherited somewhere in there. Love, yes. Love like His love...? A capacity for love that is vast...? Because I'm created in the image of God.... My soul was filled with the truthfulness of those words! All of us "are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love....")

Hiatus.

I've been a slacker with emails and blog posts and other such things, mostly because THE INFERNAL HEADACHE is forcing its way into my life again. Looking at the computer screen makes it worse, so despite the loads of fun blog topics that keep popping into my head, I've been disciplining myself. Maybe you'll get them someday! Here's a little something to make you laugh, though.... Happy Halloween!

(I had to pick five people. Since there are only three in my family, my brother Jordan—gone these last 14 months in El Salvador—was an obvious choice. But who should get to groove alongside Jordan? His mom, of course! Who...hahaha! Worked out quite nicely.... :))

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10th Percentile!

Seth has always been tall and skinny. He was born 6 pounds 2.5 ounces and almost 20 inches long—I think that was 50th percentile for length and 10th percentile for weight. While most babies would end up—even in the next few weeks—somewhere in the middle on both, Seth just kept gravitating to both ends of the spectrum. Pretty soon he was 75th percentile in length and less than 5th percentile for weight. We might have been more concerned if not for the facts that he ate really well, that I produced an insane amount of milk, and that he leveled out very nicely at 75th and 3rd-5th indicating that, well, that's just how he was gonna be! His calories appeared to go into height more than fat, I guess.

Still.... We were watching it! Careful to notice if his weight was going to suddenly drop off the chart entirely. (It did once: he had been going strong at a whopping 3rd percentile for several months, but a nasty virus wiped him off the chart. A couple weeks later he was back....)

And because we've been watching it, we know that in the first two-plus years he never exceeded 5th percentile. Usually he's at 3rd. His height has always been 75th or 80th.

A couple months ago, we had to take him to the hospital for what turned out to be an intestinal emergency (his intestine telescoped onto itself...) and when he stepped onto the scale—three years and two months old—he weighed 28 pounds. Uh-oh!! Alarm bells went off in my head for how stinking pitiful that sounded! 28 pounds? I braced myself for some scolding or something.

Guess what? That's actually 10th percentile! Seriously? His measly 28 pounds (actually, a month later for his well-child visit, he'd regained what he lost when his intestines were destroyed, and weighed 29 pounds) is actually an improvement on his growth chart?! Break out the bubbly! Hehe. 10th percentile! Woo hoo!!!

Also at his well-child visit, we discovered he's graduated to 85th percentile in height. So I guess his weight-to-height ratio is probably just as skinny as ever. But that's Seth.... :)

"there is just one moon, and one golden sun..."

I tried to take some pictures of Seth on "It's a Small World," and the results were a little bit awesome. Which isn't to say they qualify as good photos.... Haha! (I quickly discovered my camera—or probably most any camera—was no match for such low light!) But the colors and painting-look were so fun that I just kept shooting.

And in case you've ever wondered if the Small World song could possibly cloy any more, it turns out that. Yes. It. Can. Seth's version goes something like this:

"It's a small world after all. [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all!" You get the idea. :) When it gets high enough that he doesn't feel like going any higher, he'll repeat the line a few times at the same pitch, but this time increasing in volume. The drama has to build somehow, right?

Had us rolling!

Just goes to show you how dozens of days in Coronado...

can spoil even the most innocent.... Haha! (And how even a wee little kiddo can appreciate, all on his own, things that are lovely. :)) Probably a good 75% of the times we go to the beach, we go to Coronado, and the rest of the time we skip around.... The other day we went to Torrey Pines State Beach for a late-afternoon playtime. Like any good parent, before getting out of the car we attempted to bribe Seth into eating his dinner. :) "We're going to sit here in the car until you're done. After you eat, we can get out and play at the beach! Make sure you eat so we can get out and play, or we'll have to just go home...." ;-) We've GOT him, we thought. There's nothing he loves as much as the beach! YESSSS....

He looked out the window at this gorgeousness:

and said to us, cool as could be, "but that's not the beach! There's no white sand.... There's just brown sand...!"

Hahahahaha!!! That he ever even noticed the different colors of sand was news to us. And that he judged this beach so inferior to not even be a "beach" because it didn't have Coronado's white sand (I'm pretty sure he's never even heard people talk about Coronado being a "white sand beach," either!) was so funny to us that we nearly took him out to play even before his dinner was gone. 

In the end, he decided he wanted to be out there enough to eat his dinner. And he had a great time. And it was gorgeous and fun! And he came back in the car and said with a big sigh, "Ah, that was so fun! That was fun to play at the beach! Thank you for taking me to the beach!"

So I guess it earned a place after all.... :) 

And an Apology...

...to my dear Matthew. For making my Songs of the Year post with colors he can't distinguish. Poor guy almost had a heart attack when he thought "Wake Me Up before You Go-Go" was in red. (Never! Hehe. :)) 

Honorable Mention

I don't think I'm alone that I feel a lot of nostalgia over certain songs! Here are some songs that are cemented to various times of my life:

Middle School — anything by Boyz II Men (I never liked them, for the record. But boy does it take me back! Early 90's, baby!)

My dorm room (or my freshman year of college :)) — Satellite, Dave Matthews Band; A Long December, Counting Crows (this one seemed so applicable to me once the weather turned bad and I was missing home; it's still one of my favorite, favorite songs of all time :))

Having Mono — Kiss Me :-*, Sixpence None the Richer (haha! I was diagnosed just before Valentine's Day. This song smacked of such irony for me. :))

Matt's two years in Korea — a big pot of cheesiness.... Hehe.

Dating Matt — anything by Norah Jones, Joe Williams, or Kevin Mahogany. "Our song" is Come Away with Me, by Norah Jones. I still get all twitterpated when I hear it, feeling those fun dating days all over again. :)

The end of Winter in Provo — I learned in a geography class (in Utah taught by a Utahn, so I don't doubt the validity) that the official climate definition in the Utah Valley and up to Salt Lake and beyond is characterized by having only two seasons: a harsh, extreme Summer for half the year, and a harsh, extreme Winter the other half, with no Spring or Fall to speak of (by a geographer/meteorologist definition). [Interesting side-note: that particular climate distinction had to be created to classify that area of Utah; there is no other significant area in the world with the same climate. Interesting!] Live there very long at all, and you see this is oh so true. By March, I was always DYING to see the sun again, and for all the dirty snow that had been around for 5 or 6 months to finally melt and let some flowers grow. More than dying. I was very nearly insane. Really. And in those last couple weeks of Winter before the 1-week "Spring" (that always ended with one last snowfall to smoosh the new flowers! Bummer...) and the start of Summer, I would play "Here Comes the Sun" (The Beatles, of course :)) over and over again. Can I explain how happy this song made me?!! The promise I felt from it?! Hehe. No. No, I can't. It complemented the anticipation perfectly, and made me feel like I wasn't weird for wanting the sun back from behind those clouds. "The smile's returning to the faces! It been so long since it's been here!" It's all right. :)

"The Best Summer of Our [my and Amy's :)] Lives" — Somebody Hates Me, Reel Big Fish. This song is THE most cathartic song in the history of catharsis! Put it on your playlist!

Having Seth — Crazy, Gnarls Barkley. In the hospital, Greg said something to me about this song, and I was like, oh, I haven't heard of that song. And he looked at me completely dumbfounded. "How have you managed to not hear Crazy?" On the way home from the hospital, with Seth in his car seat and Greg riding with us because he wanted to sit by his first little nephew, Crazy came on. And every time I was in the car with our new baby for probably the next 6 months, it came on some more. I hear it and feel like a brand-new mom all over again. :)

Dancing with Seth when he was small enough that I could do that — Better Together, Jack Johnson; Everything, Michael Bublé. I used to hold Seth and dance around the room. He loved it, and I burned calories, and it was really cute and fun. :) These were his two favorites—the ones he started dancing to on his own once he could pull himself up.

Seth's baby era — Sweet Escape, Gwen Stefani. Seth loved it! When he was 8 or 9 months old, he'd sing along to the "ooh-ooh" part, and wave his hands in the air almost like he knew how to groove. My mom had come to visit once and would sing it with him in the backseat, and it was their special little thing. When it comes on now, Seth still says, "this was my song I loved with grandma when I was a baby!"

More of Seth's baby era — De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da, The Police. He was only four or five months old when we were shocked to hear him trying to sing along to this song. This tiny little voice in the backseat, "ooooo-oooo, aaaaaa-aaaaa," whenever the chorus came back on. One of my favorite little family moments ever. :) This song makes me feel like a tiny baby we're still getting to know is singing in the backseat again. :)

Songs of the Year!

Years ago, I noticed that I always have a song of the year, so I started to bestow upon them the official title. Even before I properly identified them, The Songs of the Year have always just happened to meet the following criteria:

1) I had listened to the radio (or, once I was in charge of a radio, surfed it...) waiting and hoping, nearly constantly, for that particular song. :)

2) It's the only song that year that had my undying devotion. (With only one exception, there's somehow always only one song in the calendar year that had me surfing for it.)

And the third, which you will see has not held true, is that I know I'll never get sick of it. Not ever. In my whole life. :) This will amuse you when you see some of the songs that had once earned the high distinction of Song of the Year. Haha!

The other important factor is that it be a song I know from the radio. I don't know why.... But it just doesn't seem like it fits as Song of the Year if I only hear it from a cd or something. I guess there's something about the anticipation of hoping to get it on the radio that enhances the song's greatness.

History was made three times! Haha! In 2005, I had an unprecedented repeat winner. Also in 2005, I couldn't help but acknowledge a very, very close runner-up (Lady, Lenny Kravitz! Sweet song :)). And this last year, in 2008, for the first time in Song of the Year history, it was neither a current song nor something I heard from the radio. (Gasp!) But the truth could not be denied that I'd spent a large portion of the year pulling When You Were Young by The Killers up on my iPod. Over, and over. And over. And over again. :) (One of the best songs ever!!) Time will tell if my iPod continues to produce songs of the year over the radio.

So here is my list! It begins, no joke, when I was two years old. Haha! I fully remember sitting in the car just waiting and hoping for For the Longest Time to come on. :) I've labeled them so you can see how my confidence in loving the song forever has frequently been shattered. Red means I can't stand the song now. Aw.... So sad. Hehe. Orange (since you can't see yellow text) means, eh, it's headed out. The purple-pink color means I'll still enjoy listening to it if it comes on, but only because of the funny nostalgia that makes me want to sing along really loudly and laugh and laugh. Green means I still adore it. We'll see how many of you identify some of these years with the same song!

1983 • For the Longest Time, Billy Joel

1984 • Thriller [It's still what I look for when I see a jukebox, out of habit. And now my kid loves this song, too. The joy he gets in the little bit of fear is just how I was! I love it.]

1985 • Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, Wham!

1986 • The Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston [I used to sing this at the top of my lungs in the car, and try my darndest to hold notes out as long as she could. I thought the words were "The Grey Test," and it made absolutely no sense to me. But I loved it. I can't wait until we've got a kid or two singing at the tops of their lungs in our car...! Hehe. BTW, I now think this song is lame! The greatest love of all is loving yourself? Are you kidding me? That's terrible.]

1987 • Faith, George Michael

1988 • Man in the Mirror, the great Michael Jackson [YouTube is awesome because it allowed me to see that my memory of the 1988 Grammys, when Michael Jackson performed this song and completely thrilled me, was right on! SO fun to see something for the first time in 20 years, and only after seeing it once, and have it be just how you remember. As a little 7-year-old, it was one of the most amazing, entrancing things I'd ever seen in my life. Still love it! And still one of the best songs EVER!!]

1989 • Lost in Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson [I haven't youtube-d this yet, but I should. Because it was another Grammy moment I've never forgotten: her laying on this piano, I think in a white dress...? I wanna say candlesticks on the piano...? Singing what I thought was the coolest song ever. In that moment, I so wanted to be her! Hehe.]

1990 • Please Don't Go Girl, NKOTB [Hahaha! I remember begging my parents to put my New Kids on the Block cassette tape in so I could impress them with this awesome song every chance I got. I couldn't ever understand why they always giggled. Haha!]

1991 • Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey [Another song I always sang with great enthusiasm and drama. Hehe.]

1992 • Black or White, MJ [This one got me hooked on Vh1. I used to turn it on while I did my chores, and as soon as I heard Black or White start, I'd run in to watch it. And it came on a lot. Still one of the best videos of all time!]

1993 • River of Dreams, Billy Joel

1994 • Stay, Lisa Loeb

1995 • Breakfast at Tiffany's • I don't even know what they're called. [I like Jordan's version better anyway—that he recorded as a kid with Dave playing the guitar.]

1996 • Back for Good • someone else I don't even know, but I hear he was on 90210. Rumor? Don't know.

1997 • Truly, Madly, Deeply, Savage Garden [Hahaha!!]

1998 • Real World, Matchbox Twenty

1999 • Smooth, Carlos Santana with Rob Thomas

2000 • Desert Rose, Sting [Still one of my favorite songs of all time.]

2001 • Fallin', Alicia Keys [Discovered her on Insomniac Music Theater on Vh1 before it was a hit and loved it. There was a lot of Insomniac Music Theater going on in my sick and bummed-out college days when I couldn't sleep.]

2002 • Disease, Matchbox Twenty [I am so over Matchbox Twenty—and Rob Thomas—but I still love this song. One of the only ones I can tolerate anymore....]

2003 • The Scientist, Coldplay

2004 • Oh, Dave Matthews

2005 • Oh, Dave Matthews!

2006 • Crazy, Gnarls Barkley

2007 • Who Knew, Pink

2008 • When You Were Young, The Killers

With The Scientist, Oh, and Who Knew, I was so obsessed with the song that I finally went and looked up lyrics, and only then discovered that it was about their loved one dying! Hmmm.... Strange trend I have! I guess that intense topic really brings out the creativity or something.

So far, I don't really have a strong contender for The Song of the Year this year, unless we're going to admit that I turn first to Bones by The Killers about every time I use my iPod. As far as radio-surfing goes, the closest we've gotten is Spaceman by The Killers—as much because Seth is so stinking cute trying to sing along to it as because I like it (it's his favorite song—it's so funny, I can't even tell you! :)). We'll see.... We'll see. It's a Killers kind of year or two, I guess. :)

HD

I know what HD really stands for: Highly Disturbing. A few things I've noticed with HDTV:

• People look terrible! The make-up is absolutely atrocious! The tv make-up people are gonna have to get with the program in this new HD world because, so far, everyone looks laughably ridiculous. Give me regular tv so I don't have to see foundation smudges everywhere! (Or ghastly eye makeup. Ugh.) I saw Brian Williams once with flakes in his eyebrows! That's just wrong.

• So far, Matt is the only person who agrees with me on this, so I realize I'm coming out of left field. But I just cannot follow what the heck is going on when I try to watch football in HD! The whole depth-of-field is totally wacky, making it really difficult for me to see where people are in relation to each other. I hate it. And I hate, too, how everything is in focus. I don't want to see the guy in Row 27 putting ketchup on his hotdog while I'm trying to keep track of where among the gazillion super-imposed players the ball is.... Depth-of-field, people. Everything in focus, while it may look brilliant and exciting ("I can't help it.... It's so beautiful...." :)), is annoying and impractical. No me gusta.

• Because everything can be in focus, certain programs are filling the entire frame with as many visual things as possible. Watching football this last week, the sports analysts would appear at their desk at halftime, and I wanted to have a seizure for all the junk everywhere. Digital images on the desk, in front of the desk, behind the desk, around the desk, down the walls.... And, again, depth-of-field.... The guys sitting at the desk were lost in this sea of HD nonsense. You couldn't even tell where exactly they were in relation to all the rest of it. It was jarring! Difficult to watch.... Again, give me regular tv, where the guys doing all the talking are the things in best focus, and the rest of it doesn't attract your attention.

I do love HD for nature shows! Gorgeous! That's about it, though. When I'm watching tv from dish or something, and can watch on 5-HD or 5.... I always think about it a second and start to be seduced by HD, but always end up preferring the non-HD channel. By a lot. Because (nature documentaries aside :)), HD stinks! The latest and greatest and most popular isn't always better....

There's more....

I still think my story is worse, but Matt had a harrowing experience of his own last week. The critter world has our number....

So, we spent a long day sawing down, sawing up, and clearing out a bunch of trees at my parents' house. Matt was on primary chainsaw duty (Dave was his chainsaw partner for awhile, until his chainsaw broke...), which required hauling around a bucket of chainsaw supplies (oil, gas, etc...). He brought the bucket out from the barn. He got the chainsaw ready, and sawed up a tree. He moved the bucket. He sawed another tree. Moved the bucket.... Sawed a tree.... Moved the bucket.... All day long....

At the end of a long, productive day, Matt gathered up all the supplies, picked up the bucket for the gazillionth time, and headed back to the barn. At which point he noticed—for the first time—something kind of funny-feeling under his fingers in the handle. He puts the bucket down to inspect. Any bids on what he found? :) Do I hear higher? Higher? Going once? Twice.... Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding!!! And the prize goes to the high bidder who said Black Widow! 

Yes. There was a Black Widow sitting in its web inside the handle. The handle Matt had put his fingers in about 4,928 times that day.

[shudder!]

What next...?!! Eesh.

A Harrowing Experience

I was going to put an appropriate picture, but was too grossed out by the image search. You'll have to use your imagination. No grotesqueness is too grotesque for this—just keep that in mind. :)

So, the other day, I took a shower. (This is NOT the part you're supposed to imagine. Hahahaha!!) A really, really long shower, as I'm apt to take.... I laid on my spa pillow and soaked for, I don't know, 40 minutes probably. (Gasp! Water shortage! I know, I know.... But I have a shortage of non-aching joints and muscles!)

As I got out of the shower and toweled off, I went to close the shower door and saw, on the top of my spa pillow, playing King of the Mountain or something . . . a huge, ugly, crunchy . . . cockroach.

The antennae were probably 3 or 4 inches long. The body was wide and really fat, and at least two inches long. And the little bugger moved fast! And when he moved, his little feet made loud, creepy noises on the shower surface. 

Now, the capture and kill story is enough to creep one out (I'm happy to report I didn't scream once :)), but what made this a harrowing experience is that the cockroach was hanging out in the shower, right by my head, the whole time! If that doesn't make you shudder your bones out, I don't know what will.... 

I was at least glad I didn't notice it until I was out of the shower. It's terrible to think I took an entire shower not knowing about this space-sharer, but that's better than laying there and feeling something strange on my cheek, or my neck, or in my hair.... AAAHHHHHH!!! And then going, "huh, that feels strange, what is th....... AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

[Shudder.]

[ShudderShudderShudderShudder]

Yikes. 

Let's hope that was just a freak occurrence. You can bet I'll be checking out the shower a little more thoroughly from now on....

(Aren't you glad I didn't post a picture of the little bugger? :))

Heat-Induced Insanity

Just last week, Matt and I were in Orange County, and it was blazingly hot. And we shared a gloating little moment with each other. I said something like, "Isn't it great that we'll never be this hot in San Diego? HAHAHAHAHA!!!" And Matt was like, "Yeah, if it ever got this hot, everyone would go insane, and the fire departments would run around dousing the city to cool us down. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" 

Well, the jokes were poor, but the laughing was intense. :)

The next day . . . the very next day . . . . It was in the 90's! On the COAST! In San Diego! Want to know how often that happens? Never! I really shouldn't have had to eat my words when I was gloating in Orange County because, seriously, even 78 is blazingly "hot" and strange here. 

Even worse, it's not cooling down! The other day was—I can't even believe this could even be true—a high of 97 on the coast. (We're all hoping hurricane Jimena will, first of all, not wreak havoc in Baja, and second of all, come up here and cool us down and maybe even give us some rain.... Please, Jimena, please!! :))

So, utterly shockingly, we were actually wrong about how we'd never have to be really hot at home. But what we weren't wrong about was that it would make everyone insane.

Case in point:

For the last two days, I've worn shorts that I shouldn't even own. They have a super-weird waist. You know, the kind that pooches out uncontrollably and adds five inches to you.... The kind that makes it look like you've got a fanny pack on under your shirt.... Hehe. Put another shirt over the top of that girl in the above picture, and you'll see what I've been willing to look like this week! (Haha! It's really an atrocity. A poochy belly, no big deal. But a bizarre, wide lump...? Yikes! :)) But, hey, they're the least-hot shorts I own (double entendre intended... :)), and my better pair is dirty—requiring a trip I'm not willing to take to the hot garage with a load of laundry on my hip.

So hidden-fanny-pack it is! When I come to my senses again, maybe I'll finally throw these shorts away instead of packing them back in the bottom of my drawer. I'm sure I won't need them. It's never hot in San Diego! Hehe. :)

Pear jam.

In my iPod, some names have been changed to protect the innocent. By "the innocent" I mean me—and by "protect" I mean from certain offenses. For instance, who wants to scroll through their iPod and have ABBA be the first thing they see? That lasted about two days, and then they became Not ABBA.

There's a certain group whose unfortunate name would cause the word "barenaked" to repeat itself a couple dozen times on my iPod. :) Which thing I'm just not too keen on. And so, in my world, they're just "The Ladies." Hahaha! Which brings me such joy. Whenever I see it, and see what a pansy band name "The Ladies" is, I think how it serves them right! Hehe. Because, you know, nothing could be more insulting to a band with an offensive name than to demean them in an iPod. ;-)

I've brainstormed many times about another certain band whose music I love, but whose name is, seriously...awful.... Absolutely vile! I haven't wanted to put any of their music into my iPod until I have a new name for them. Something wonderfully demeaning and, to me (and the world), nice and proper. I was so stuck that I was going to blog a plea for ideas. And as I thought about writing out the blog post, it came to me! Pear Jam. Hahaha!! If you can think of something better, let me know. But I like the idea of a band trying to be all awesomely vile and ending up named for a jar of country pear jam with a cute little ribbon tied around the top.

And I really like the idea of even MORE people renaming them. So if you feel so compelled.... Hahaha! And if you want to hack iTunes...! HA!! The Ladies. Pear Jam. They deserve it! :)

My Name: Part Five

(Will this series ever end? Hehe. When I felt like complaining about BYU calling me Auburn G. Williams or Auburn Golding Williams [not my name!!] and labeled it Part One, I wasn't really expecting to have anything more. But once you name a series, things keep coming to you.... Hehe. I actually think this might be the last one. And I think it's a goodie. ;-))

So, up until a few years ago, I'd never—not once—met another Auburn. Not only that, but I hadn't even heard of another Auburn. I'd had no evidence whatsoever that any other person on the planet existed named Auburn. (Actually, I still haven't met an Auburn.... That would be really weird. I don't think I'd be that excited about it.... ;-))

The first time I saw evidence of another person named Auburn was a really bizarre, freaky, weird, multiple-adjectives experience.

It was when we lived in San Diego before med school. I worked for a health insurance company in La Jolla, processing authorizations for care for military families. (A long story in and of itself! Evil insurance! I was a great mole for a little while.... Muwahahahaha! ;-))

Every time I got paperwork for a patient, I had to put the sponsor's social security number into the system and the entire family popped up on the screen. I was flying through these things when suddenly, the most shocking thing that had ever popped up on a screen popped up on my screen.

A family of two. And the top name was . . . Auburn!

But no. That's not the shocking thing.

Yes, it was the very first time I'd ever heard of another Auburn in this wide world. But that wasn't enough to stop me dead in my tracks, oh no.... It would have to be a lot more dramatic than a simple Auburn!

The name on the screen was (you're not going to believe me...): Auburn D. Williams.

YES! I'm telling the truth!! Auburn D. Williams!

I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. I tried to figure out why I had just popped up on the screen.... I put the number in again....

It gets better!

Auburn D. Williams . . . was a MAN!! Hahahahaha!!

It gets BETTER!!

Auburn D. Willliams was married to . . . Amber! Hahahahaha!! (The name I've been called my whole life by people who can't remember "Auburn." You'd think maybe Aubrey or Autumn would get thrown in there but, for some reason, when I'm called the wrong name, 99 out of 100 times it's Amber...!)

It was, without a doubt, the most surreal experience of my whole freaking life. Auburn D. Williams and Amber Williams, in the military here in San Diego.... I have got to be kidding you.

But I'm not! :-)

I told you it was a goodie of a story. :)

P.S. I've since discovered another Auburn Williams—some chick in Michigan trying to score an R&B record deal! Hahaha!! I almost hope she makes it. She even seems kind of skanky—another Rihanna or something—and it would be kind of hilarious to have a person like that parading around with my name! Haha! And R&B Auburn Williams is only the 4th Auburn I've heard of now. So two of them are Williamses! Weird.

And, of this veritable plethora of Auburn Williamses . . . I'm the only white one. :-)

Now that.... That is pretty cool. :)

My (Hypothetical) Name, Part Four:

If I were named after my mother, who was named for her mother, named for her mother, and on and on.... If I were the 4th or 10th or 110th in a row.... Even if all the world(!!!) thought our child's name was, of course, predetermined:

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had any problem at all naming her something else.... :-)

And if Matt were Matthew Williams IV, or Matthew Williams VII, I'm totally sure we both would have said, ok. Stop the insanity. Roman Numerals need not continue. Hehe. And Seth would have still been Seth, not Matthew Williams VIII.

Is that totally weird...? :-) It seems completely unremarkable to me.

My Name, Part Three:

You may remember that I've mentioned before how much I long to doodle, but how I suck at drawing so I end up writing my name over and over.

Here's another funny thing about me: I spent my pre-married life considerably concerned about my future name. Really! This was no laughing matter. Hehe. (Ok, I still laughed about it. :)) I had always really loved my name and, after a lifetime of such satisfaction from a great name, the idea that it could turn into anything, and [gasp!] maybe something horrible was terribly nauseating.

I didn't fail to consider that I wouldn't have to change my name.... And if I thought we'd never have kids, maybe that wouldn't have seemed like a weird idea. But a family with multiple names going on just wasn't what I wanted. So, I figured, I'd be stuck. Dreadfully stuck!

[I did fail to consider that I might marry someone as cool as Matt! Hehe. Someone so unafraid to buck tradition to volunteer: "Auburn, seriously, if you don't want to take my name, but you want us to have the same name, I can take yours! Seriously! I'll do it!" If Matt Golding weren't lame, I might have gone for it.... Matthew Williams is much more aesthetic. Hehe. Plus, I'm not sure he could appreciate what a relief it was to know I was changing my name to Williams and not something terrible. But, really, Matt is cool! Very, very cool.]

In my years of fretting over this, I signed "Auburn" with every last name I could think of. Ha ha! Pages and pages of not just my name, but my name with a billion other names! Just to get a sense.... How does my name sound with other surnames? What do I need to fear? Who do I need to say no to when he asks me on a date? HAHA!! 

I figured to fall in love with someone and then not marry him because of his name would be pretty lame (not to mention ridiculous and impossible). But to just...not get to know him at all...? So that I never run the risk of becoming Auburn Hickenlooper...? Perfectly acceptable. Hehe.

So, now you know: if I know you, I probably signed my name with your name! Not because I wanted to marry you. ;) (I hope that's obvious.... :)) Just because it was a name floating around in the universe, potentially mine some day.

Names I feared with all my soul!:

Auburn Roberts (Say it.... Just try to say it....)

Auburn Burns (hehe—yep, got that one from you Janelle! :)) (a fine name if you're not named Auburn :))

Auburn Oberdorfer or anything else similarly German (not a blanket distaste for all German—but there are a lot of yuckies out there :)) (and yes, I saw someone with that last name once!)

Auburn Hickenbocker (I'm not sure if this name exists, but it's always what my mom says when she makes up a last name! :))

Auburn anything-that-sounds-crass (And there are a lot out there to fear! I'd change it. I really would.... Go through family history, and surnames made alterations all the time. Why not now...?)

Auburn Johnson (I don't know, it just seemed so possible for being so common, and it just doesn't sound that good....)

Auburn Brown (Another common one! AAAAHHHH!!! Auburn Brown? Oh, how awful.)

Names I thought sounded good:

Three syllables. My very favorite? Even before Matt? Auburn Williamson. Seriously! (Maybe we should just add a syllable!) Other favorites were a plethora of Spanish names, like Auburn Morales, and other cool-sounding beauties.

My other great hope, in addition to Auburn Williamson: that I find someone unrelated to me whose name happened to be Golding. HAHAHA!! Oh, the beauty.

Common names I didn't fear:

Auburn Smith.

Auburn Williams. (I really had given Auburn Williams some thought! Thought it was a goodie.... :))

Auburn Jones.

(The other two in the top five are Johnson and Brown, on my fear list. :))

If I ever run for public office—which I continually joke I'd like to do someday (hehe)—I might have to seriously consider billing myself as Auburn Golding again. That's got some star-power. :) But, whew! All that worrying, and I end up with Williams! I'll take it. Thank you, Fate! :)

P.S. Williams, you make it difficult to find good boy names that don't sound totally generic. But I still like you. :)

Insomnia

I couldn't sleep a few nights ago, and since I was at my parents' house I settled in to channel surf on the tv for the first time in a while (it's Hulu or nothing at our house :-)). Channel surfing at 4:00 in the morning allows you to see things you otherwise couldn't laugh at!

First funny thing I saw (and horrifying):

Every other channel was an infomercial called, "YES! Your baby can read!" All these whacked out parents touting the virtues of harassing your baby with flashcards so they can impress your friends at parties. Hilarious. Well, mostly sad and disgusting. But at 4:00 in the morning, the only way to deal with my sadness and disgust was to call it hilarious. :)

The other funny thing I saw:

An infomercial titled (I saw this on a few channels on the channel guide), "Always Tired And You Don't Know Why?" Hahahaha!! I'm just picturing someone channel surfing at 4:00 in the morning.... And they see that title. And the light bulb goes on in their head! "YES! I am always tired, come to think of it! And I just have NO idea why! Maybe this infomercial will explain my midday drowsiness!"

Hmmm.... Maybe because in the middle of the night you're not, I don't know . . . sleeping? It made me laugh. :-)

I do not think it's from what you think it's from. :)

So, to anyone who saw my original post about The Road Not Taken, and then saw our addition of the movie clip, I hope you appreciated the irony! Haha! (I originally claimed the quote was from The Three Amigos! I thought it was part of the "plethora" conversation. I should have known, since I actually liked the line, that it was from elsewhere. By the way, Matt and his family enjoy really silly movies.... [Like Three Amigos.])

Matt is highly disappointed that no one wrote in to malign me for daring to strip The Road Not Taken of its most beloved meaning. Hehe. I told him my audience is too intelligent to actually read the poem and think it's saying what people think it's saying. :) As far as poetry goes, it's pretty straight-forward!

For the benefit of the weirdos on wikipedia (Matt wikipedia-ed the poem to see if Robert Frost ever had a good laugh over it. We enjoyed his quote: "You have to be careful with that one. It's tricky. Hehehehehehehe. VERY tricky. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" [implied laughter added] :)), here's a simpler version for wiki-people minds:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

(Creating a perfect metaphor for life)

And sorry I could not travel both

Since, of course, I'm just one man

I considered my options for a long time

And looked down the one as far as I could to try to see what it was like

Then ended up taking the other one, which was just as good

And maybe, I thought, was maybe a better choice...?

Because its grass wasn't tromped on yet!

Although, truth be told, as for that...

(That is, as for how many people had already traveled on these roads)

Both the paths were really about the same

And both of them that morning were equally

Covered in leaves that no steps had tromped on

(Neither was less traveled...! Oh, how to choose?!)

Oh! The pain! I kept the first for another day!

Another day. Yes.

Oh, who was I kidding.

Knowing how one path leads to another...

I knew I'd probably never come back for that first path. Sigh.

This will always make me a little sad. And make me wonder. And make me sigh.

I can foresee that years from now, I'll change up the story to make myself feel good.

The myth will go something like this:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by!

And that has made all the difference.

Ok, that version stinks. Hehe. But wikipedia people, I daresay the "literal interpretation" is, you know, what the poem actually says. (It's not a toughie.) As for an "ironic interpretation," the common interpretation is, itself, the irony! He said it himself: Frost is a trickster! Hahahaha!!

I said it before, I'll say it again. What a GREAT poem. :)