Songs of the Year!

Years ago, I noticed that I always have a song of the year, so I started to bestow upon them the official title. Even before I properly identified them, The Songs of the Year have always just happened to meet the following criteria:

1) I had listened to the radio (or, once I was in charge of a radio, surfed it...) waiting and hoping, nearly constantly, for that particular song. :)

2) It's the only song that year that had my undying devotion. (With only one exception, there's somehow always only one song in the calendar year that had me surfing for it.)

And the third, which you will see has not held true, is that I know I'll never get sick of it. Not ever. In my whole life. :) This will amuse you when you see some of the songs that had once earned the high distinction of Song of the Year. Haha!

The other important factor is that it be a song I know from the radio. I don't know why.... But it just doesn't seem like it fits as Song of the Year if I only hear it from a cd or something. I guess there's something about the anticipation of hoping to get it on the radio that enhances the song's greatness.

History was made three times! Haha! In 2005, I had an unprecedented repeat winner. Also in 2005, I couldn't help but acknowledge a very, very close runner-up (Lady, Lenny Kravitz! Sweet song :)). And this last year, in 2008, for the first time in Song of the Year history, it was neither a current song nor something I heard from the radio. (Gasp!) But the truth could not be denied that I'd spent a large portion of the year pulling When You Were Young by The Killers up on my iPod. Over, and over. And over. And over again. :) (One of the best songs ever!!) Time will tell if my iPod continues to produce songs of the year over the radio.

So here is my list! It begins, no joke, when I was two years old. Haha! I fully remember sitting in the car just waiting and hoping for For the Longest Time to come on. :) I've labeled them so you can see how my confidence in loving the song forever has frequently been shattered. Red means I can't stand the song now. Aw.... So sad. Hehe. Orange (since you can't see yellow text) means, eh, it's headed out. The purple-pink color means I'll still enjoy listening to it if it comes on, but only because of the funny nostalgia that makes me want to sing along really loudly and laugh and laugh. Green means I still adore it. We'll see how many of you identify some of these years with the same song!

1983 • For the Longest Time, Billy Joel

1984 • Thriller [It's still what I look for when I see a jukebox, out of habit. And now my kid loves this song, too. The joy he gets in the little bit of fear is just how I was! I love it.]

1985 • Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, Wham!

1986 • The Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston [I used to sing this at the top of my lungs in the car, and try my darndest to hold notes out as long as she could. I thought the words were "The Grey Test," and it made absolutely no sense to me. But I loved it. I can't wait until we've got a kid or two singing at the tops of their lungs in our car...! Hehe. BTW, I now think this song is lame! The greatest love of all is loving yourself? Are you kidding me? That's terrible.]

1987 • Faith, George Michael

1988 • Man in the Mirror, the great Michael Jackson [YouTube is awesome because it allowed me to see that my memory of the 1988 Grammys, when Michael Jackson performed this song and completely thrilled me, was right on! SO fun to see something for the first time in 20 years, and only after seeing it once, and have it be just how you remember. As a little 7-year-old, it was one of the most amazing, entrancing things I'd ever seen in my life. Still love it! And still one of the best songs EVER!!]

1989 • Lost in Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson [I haven't youtube-d this yet, but I should. Because it was another Grammy moment I've never forgotten: her laying on this piano, I think in a white dress...? I wanna say candlesticks on the piano...? Singing what I thought was the coolest song ever. In that moment, I so wanted to be her! Hehe.]

1990 • Please Don't Go Girl, NKOTB [Hahaha! I remember begging my parents to put my New Kids on the Block cassette tape in so I could impress them with this awesome song every chance I got. I couldn't ever understand why they always giggled. Haha!]

1991 • Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey [Another song I always sang with great enthusiasm and drama. Hehe.]

1992 • Black or White, MJ [This one got me hooked on Vh1. I used to turn it on while I did my chores, and as soon as I heard Black or White start, I'd run in to watch it. And it came on a lot. Still one of the best videos of all time!]

1993 • River of Dreams, Billy Joel

1994 • Stay, Lisa Loeb

1995 • Breakfast at Tiffany's • I don't even know what they're called. [I like Jordan's version better anyway—that he recorded as a kid with Dave playing the guitar.]

1996 • Back for Good • someone else I don't even know, but I hear he was on 90210. Rumor? Don't know.

1997 • Truly, Madly, Deeply, Savage Garden [Hahaha!!]

1998 • Real World, Matchbox Twenty

1999 • Smooth, Carlos Santana with Rob Thomas

2000 • Desert Rose, Sting [Still one of my favorite songs of all time.]

2001 • Fallin', Alicia Keys [Discovered her on Insomniac Music Theater on Vh1 before it was a hit and loved it. There was a lot of Insomniac Music Theater going on in my sick and bummed-out college days when I couldn't sleep.]

2002 • Disease, Matchbox Twenty [I am so over Matchbox Twenty—and Rob Thomas—but I still love this song. One of the only ones I can tolerate anymore....]

2003 • The Scientist, Coldplay

2004 • Oh, Dave Matthews

2005 • Oh, Dave Matthews!

2006 • Crazy, Gnarls Barkley

2007 • Who Knew, Pink

2008 • When You Were Young, The Killers

With The Scientist, Oh, and Who Knew, I was so obsessed with the song that I finally went and looked up lyrics, and only then discovered that it was about their loved one dying! Hmmm.... Strange trend I have! I guess that intense topic really brings out the creativity or something.

So far, I don't really have a strong contender for The Song of the Year this year, unless we're going to admit that I turn first to Bones by The Killers about every time I use my iPod. As far as radio-surfing goes, the closest we've gotten is Spaceman by The Killers—as much because Seth is so stinking cute trying to sing along to it as because I like it (it's his favorite song—it's so funny, I can't even tell you! :)). We'll see.... We'll see. It's a Killers kind of year or two, I guess. :)

HD

I know what HD really stands for: Highly Disturbing. A few things I've noticed with HDTV:

• People look terrible! The make-up is absolutely atrocious! The tv make-up people are gonna have to get with the program in this new HD world because, so far, everyone looks laughably ridiculous. Give me regular tv so I don't have to see foundation smudges everywhere! (Or ghastly eye makeup. Ugh.) I saw Brian Williams once with flakes in his eyebrows! That's just wrong.

• So far, Matt is the only person who agrees with me on this, so I realize I'm coming out of left field. But I just cannot follow what the heck is going on when I try to watch football in HD! The whole depth-of-field is totally wacky, making it really difficult for me to see where people are in relation to each other. I hate it. And I hate, too, how everything is in focus. I don't want to see the guy in Row 27 putting ketchup on his hotdog while I'm trying to keep track of where among the gazillion super-imposed players the ball is.... Depth-of-field, people. Everything in focus, while it may look brilliant and exciting ("I can't help it.... It's so beautiful...." :)), is annoying and impractical. No me gusta.

• Because everything can be in focus, certain programs are filling the entire frame with as many visual things as possible. Watching football this last week, the sports analysts would appear at their desk at halftime, and I wanted to have a seizure for all the junk everywhere. Digital images on the desk, in front of the desk, behind the desk, around the desk, down the walls.... And, again, depth-of-field.... The guys sitting at the desk were lost in this sea of HD nonsense. You couldn't even tell where exactly they were in relation to all the rest of it. It was jarring! Difficult to watch.... Again, give me regular tv, where the guys doing all the talking are the things in best focus, and the rest of it doesn't attract your attention.

I do love HD for nature shows! Gorgeous! That's about it, though. When I'm watching tv from dish or something, and can watch on 5-HD or 5.... I always think about it a second and start to be seduced by HD, but always end up preferring the non-HD channel. By a lot. Because (nature documentaries aside :)), HD stinks! The latest and greatest and most popular isn't always better....

There's more....

I still think my story is worse, but Matt had a harrowing experience of his own last week. The critter world has our number....

So, we spent a long day sawing down, sawing up, and clearing out a bunch of trees at my parents' house. Matt was on primary chainsaw duty (Dave was his chainsaw partner for awhile, until his chainsaw broke...), which required hauling around a bucket of chainsaw supplies (oil, gas, etc...). He brought the bucket out from the barn. He got the chainsaw ready, and sawed up a tree. He moved the bucket. He sawed another tree. Moved the bucket.... Sawed a tree.... Moved the bucket.... All day long....

At the end of a long, productive day, Matt gathered up all the supplies, picked up the bucket for the gazillionth time, and headed back to the barn. At which point he noticed—for the first time—something kind of funny-feeling under his fingers in the handle. He puts the bucket down to inspect. Any bids on what he found? :) Do I hear higher? Higher? Going once? Twice.... Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding!!! And the prize goes to the high bidder who said Black Widow! 

Yes. There was a Black Widow sitting in its web inside the handle. The handle Matt had put his fingers in about 4,928 times that day.

[shudder!]

What next...?!! Eesh.

A Harrowing Experience

I was going to put an appropriate picture, but was too grossed out by the image search. You'll have to use your imagination. No grotesqueness is too grotesque for this—just keep that in mind. :)

So, the other day, I took a shower. (This is NOT the part you're supposed to imagine. Hahahaha!!) A really, really long shower, as I'm apt to take.... I laid on my spa pillow and soaked for, I don't know, 40 minutes probably. (Gasp! Water shortage! I know, I know.... But I have a shortage of non-aching joints and muscles!)

As I got out of the shower and toweled off, I went to close the shower door and saw, on the top of my spa pillow, playing King of the Mountain or something . . . a huge, ugly, crunchy . . . cockroach.

The antennae were probably 3 or 4 inches long. The body was wide and really fat, and at least two inches long. And the little bugger moved fast! And when he moved, his little feet made loud, creepy noises on the shower surface. 

Now, the capture and kill story is enough to creep one out (I'm happy to report I didn't scream once :)), but what made this a harrowing experience is that the cockroach was hanging out in the shower, right by my head, the whole time! If that doesn't make you shudder your bones out, I don't know what will.... 

I was at least glad I didn't notice it until I was out of the shower. It's terrible to think I took an entire shower not knowing about this space-sharer, but that's better than laying there and feeling something strange on my cheek, or my neck, or in my hair.... AAAHHHHHH!!! And then going, "huh, that feels strange, what is th....... AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

[Shudder.]

[ShudderShudderShudderShudder]

Yikes. 

Let's hope that was just a freak occurrence. You can bet I'll be checking out the shower a little more thoroughly from now on....

(Aren't you glad I didn't post a picture of the little bugger? :))

Heat-Induced Insanity

Just last week, Matt and I were in Orange County, and it was blazingly hot. And we shared a gloating little moment with each other. I said something like, "Isn't it great that we'll never be this hot in San Diego? HAHAHAHAHA!!!" And Matt was like, "Yeah, if it ever got this hot, everyone would go insane, and the fire departments would run around dousing the city to cool us down. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" 

Well, the jokes were poor, but the laughing was intense. :)

The next day . . . the very next day . . . . It was in the 90's! On the COAST! In San Diego! Want to know how often that happens? Never! I really shouldn't have had to eat my words when I was gloating in Orange County because, seriously, even 78 is blazingly "hot" and strange here. 

Even worse, it's not cooling down! The other day was—I can't even believe this could even be true—a high of 97 on the coast. (We're all hoping hurricane Jimena will, first of all, not wreak havoc in Baja, and second of all, come up here and cool us down and maybe even give us some rain.... Please, Jimena, please!! :))

So, utterly shockingly, we were actually wrong about how we'd never have to be really hot at home. But what we weren't wrong about was that it would make everyone insane.

Case in point:

For the last two days, I've worn shorts that I shouldn't even own. They have a super-weird waist. You know, the kind that pooches out uncontrollably and adds five inches to you.... The kind that makes it look like you've got a fanny pack on under your shirt.... Hehe. Put another shirt over the top of that girl in the above picture, and you'll see what I've been willing to look like this week! (Haha! It's really an atrocity. A poochy belly, no big deal. But a bizarre, wide lump...? Yikes! :)) But, hey, they're the least-hot shorts I own (double entendre intended... :)), and my better pair is dirty—requiring a trip I'm not willing to take to the hot garage with a load of laundry on my hip.

So hidden-fanny-pack it is! When I come to my senses again, maybe I'll finally throw these shorts away instead of packing them back in the bottom of my drawer. I'm sure I won't need them. It's never hot in San Diego! Hehe. :)

Pear jam.

In my iPod, some names have been changed to protect the innocent. By "the innocent" I mean me—and by "protect" I mean from certain offenses. For instance, who wants to scroll through their iPod and have ABBA be the first thing they see? That lasted about two days, and then they became Not ABBA.

There's a certain group whose unfortunate name would cause the word "barenaked" to repeat itself a couple dozen times on my iPod. :) Which thing I'm just not too keen on. And so, in my world, they're just "The Ladies." Hahaha! Which brings me such joy. Whenever I see it, and see what a pansy band name "The Ladies" is, I think how it serves them right! Hehe. Because, you know, nothing could be more insulting to a band with an offensive name than to demean them in an iPod. ;-)

I've brainstormed many times about another certain band whose music I love, but whose name is, seriously...awful.... Absolutely vile! I haven't wanted to put any of their music into my iPod until I have a new name for them. Something wonderfully demeaning and, to me (and the world), nice and proper. I was so stuck that I was going to blog a plea for ideas. And as I thought about writing out the blog post, it came to me! Pear Jam. Hahaha!! If you can think of something better, let me know. But I like the idea of a band trying to be all awesomely vile and ending up named for a jar of country pear jam with a cute little ribbon tied around the top.

And I really like the idea of even MORE people renaming them. So if you feel so compelled.... Hahaha! And if you want to hack iTunes...! HA!! The Ladies. Pear Jam. They deserve it! :)

My Name: Part Five

(Will this series ever end? Hehe. When I felt like complaining about BYU calling me Auburn G. Williams or Auburn Golding Williams [not my name!!] and labeled it Part One, I wasn't really expecting to have anything more. But once you name a series, things keep coming to you.... Hehe. I actually think this might be the last one. And I think it's a goodie. ;-))

So, up until a few years ago, I'd never—not once—met another Auburn. Not only that, but I hadn't even heard of another Auburn. I'd had no evidence whatsoever that any other person on the planet existed named Auburn. (Actually, I still haven't met an Auburn.... That would be really weird. I don't think I'd be that excited about it.... ;-))

The first time I saw evidence of another person named Auburn was a really bizarre, freaky, weird, multiple-adjectives experience.

It was when we lived in San Diego before med school. I worked for a health insurance company in La Jolla, processing authorizations for care for military families. (A long story in and of itself! Evil insurance! I was a great mole for a little while.... Muwahahahaha! ;-))

Every time I got paperwork for a patient, I had to put the sponsor's social security number into the system and the entire family popped up on the screen. I was flying through these things when suddenly, the most shocking thing that had ever popped up on a screen popped up on my screen.

A family of two. And the top name was . . . Auburn!

But no. That's not the shocking thing.

Yes, it was the very first time I'd ever heard of another Auburn in this wide world. But that wasn't enough to stop me dead in my tracks, oh no.... It would have to be a lot more dramatic than a simple Auburn!

The name on the screen was (you're not going to believe me...): Auburn D. Williams.

YES! I'm telling the truth!! Auburn D. Williams!

I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. I tried to figure out why I had just popped up on the screen.... I put the number in again....

It gets better!

Auburn D. Williams . . . was a MAN!! Hahahahaha!!

It gets BETTER!!

Auburn D. Willliams was married to . . . Amber! Hahahahaha!! (The name I've been called my whole life by people who can't remember "Auburn." You'd think maybe Aubrey or Autumn would get thrown in there but, for some reason, when I'm called the wrong name, 99 out of 100 times it's Amber...!)

It was, without a doubt, the most surreal experience of my whole freaking life. Auburn D. Williams and Amber Williams, in the military here in San Diego.... I have got to be kidding you.

But I'm not! :-)

I told you it was a goodie of a story. :)

P.S. I've since discovered another Auburn Williams—some chick in Michigan trying to score an R&B record deal! Hahaha!! I almost hope she makes it. She even seems kind of skanky—another Rihanna or something—and it would be kind of hilarious to have a person like that parading around with my name! Haha! And R&B Auburn Williams is only the 4th Auburn I've heard of now. So two of them are Williamses! Weird.

And, of this veritable plethora of Auburn Williamses . . . I'm the only white one. :-)

Now that.... That is pretty cool. :)

My (Hypothetical) Name, Part Four:

If I were named after my mother, who was named for her mother, named for her mother, and on and on.... If I were the 4th or 10th or 110th in a row.... Even if all the world(!!!) thought our child's name was, of course, predetermined:

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had any problem at all naming her something else.... :-)

And if Matt were Matthew Williams IV, or Matthew Williams VII, I'm totally sure we both would have said, ok. Stop the insanity. Roman Numerals need not continue. Hehe. And Seth would have still been Seth, not Matthew Williams VIII.

Is that totally weird...? :-) It seems completely unremarkable to me.

My Name, Part Three:

You may remember that I've mentioned before how much I long to doodle, but how I suck at drawing so I end up writing my name over and over.

Here's another funny thing about me: I spent my pre-married life considerably concerned about my future name. Really! This was no laughing matter. Hehe. (Ok, I still laughed about it. :)) I had always really loved my name and, after a lifetime of such satisfaction from a great name, the idea that it could turn into anything, and [gasp!] maybe something horrible was terribly nauseating.

I didn't fail to consider that I wouldn't have to change my name.... And if I thought we'd never have kids, maybe that wouldn't have seemed like a weird idea. But a family with multiple names going on just wasn't what I wanted. So, I figured, I'd be stuck. Dreadfully stuck!

[I did fail to consider that I might marry someone as cool as Matt! Hehe. Someone so unafraid to buck tradition to volunteer: "Auburn, seriously, if you don't want to take my name, but you want us to have the same name, I can take yours! Seriously! I'll do it!" If Matt Golding weren't lame, I might have gone for it.... Matthew Williams is much more aesthetic. Hehe. Plus, I'm not sure he could appreciate what a relief it was to know I was changing my name to Williams and not something terrible. But, really, Matt is cool! Very, very cool.]

In my years of fretting over this, I signed "Auburn" with every last name I could think of. Ha ha! Pages and pages of not just my name, but my name with a billion other names! Just to get a sense.... How does my name sound with other surnames? What do I need to fear? Who do I need to say no to when he asks me on a date? HAHA!! 

I figured to fall in love with someone and then not marry him because of his name would be pretty lame (not to mention ridiculous and impossible). But to just...not get to know him at all...? So that I never run the risk of becoming Auburn Hickenlooper...? Perfectly acceptable. Hehe.

So, now you know: if I know you, I probably signed my name with your name! Not because I wanted to marry you. ;) (I hope that's obvious.... :)) Just because it was a name floating around in the universe, potentially mine some day.

Names I feared with all my soul!:

Auburn Roberts (Say it.... Just try to say it....)

Auburn Burns (hehe—yep, got that one from you Janelle! :)) (a fine name if you're not named Auburn :))

Auburn Oberdorfer or anything else similarly German (not a blanket distaste for all German—but there are a lot of yuckies out there :)) (and yes, I saw someone with that last name once!)

Auburn Hickenbocker (I'm not sure if this name exists, but it's always what my mom says when she makes up a last name! :))

Auburn anything-that-sounds-crass (And there are a lot out there to fear! I'd change it. I really would.... Go through family history, and surnames made alterations all the time. Why not now...?)

Auburn Johnson (I don't know, it just seemed so possible for being so common, and it just doesn't sound that good....)

Auburn Brown (Another common one! AAAAHHHH!!! Auburn Brown? Oh, how awful.)

Names I thought sounded good:

Three syllables. My very favorite? Even before Matt? Auburn Williamson. Seriously! (Maybe we should just add a syllable!) Other favorites were a plethora of Spanish names, like Auburn Morales, and other cool-sounding beauties.

My other great hope, in addition to Auburn Williamson: that I find someone unrelated to me whose name happened to be Golding. HAHAHA!! Oh, the beauty.

Common names I didn't fear:

Auburn Smith.

Auburn Williams. (I really had given Auburn Williams some thought! Thought it was a goodie.... :))

Auburn Jones.

(The other two in the top five are Johnson and Brown, on my fear list. :))

If I ever run for public office—which I continually joke I'd like to do someday (hehe)—I might have to seriously consider billing myself as Auburn Golding again. That's got some star-power. :) But, whew! All that worrying, and I end up with Williams! I'll take it. Thank you, Fate! :)

P.S. Williams, you make it difficult to find good boy names that don't sound totally generic. But I still like you. :)

Insomnia

I couldn't sleep a few nights ago, and since I was at my parents' house I settled in to channel surf on the tv for the first time in a while (it's Hulu or nothing at our house :-)). Channel surfing at 4:00 in the morning allows you to see things you otherwise couldn't laugh at!

First funny thing I saw (and horrifying):

Every other channel was an infomercial called, "YES! Your baby can read!" All these whacked out parents touting the virtues of harassing your baby with flashcards so they can impress your friends at parties. Hilarious. Well, mostly sad and disgusting. But at 4:00 in the morning, the only way to deal with my sadness and disgust was to call it hilarious. :)

The other funny thing I saw:

An infomercial titled (I saw this on a few channels on the channel guide), "Always Tired And You Don't Know Why?" Hahahaha!! I'm just picturing someone channel surfing at 4:00 in the morning.... And they see that title. And the light bulb goes on in their head! "YES! I am always tired, come to think of it! And I just have NO idea why! Maybe this infomercial will explain my midday drowsiness!"

Hmmm.... Maybe because in the middle of the night you're not, I don't know . . . sleeping? It made me laugh. :-)

I do not think it's from what you think it's from. :)

So, to anyone who saw my original post about The Road Not Taken, and then saw our addition of the movie clip, I hope you appreciated the irony! Haha! (I originally claimed the quote was from The Three Amigos! I thought it was part of the "plethora" conversation. I should have known, since I actually liked the line, that it was from elsewhere. By the way, Matt and his family enjoy really silly movies.... [Like Three Amigos.])

Matt is highly disappointed that no one wrote in to malign me for daring to strip The Road Not Taken of its most beloved meaning. Hehe. I told him my audience is too intelligent to actually read the poem and think it's saying what people think it's saying. :) As far as poetry goes, it's pretty straight-forward!

For the benefit of the weirdos on wikipedia (Matt wikipedia-ed the poem to see if Robert Frost ever had a good laugh over it. We enjoyed his quote: "You have to be careful with that one. It's tricky. Hehehehehehehe. VERY tricky. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" [implied laughter added] :)), here's a simpler version for wiki-people minds:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

(Creating a perfect metaphor for life)

And sorry I could not travel both

Since, of course, I'm just one man

I considered my options for a long time

And looked down the one as far as I could to try to see what it was like

Then ended up taking the other one, which was just as good

And maybe, I thought, was maybe a better choice...?

Because its grass wasn't tromped on yet!

Although, truth be told, as for that...

(That is, as for how many people had already traveled on these roads)

Both the paths were really about the same

And both of them that morning were equally

Covered in leaves that no steps had tromped on

(Neither was less traveled...! Oh, how to choose?!)

Oh! The pain! I kept the first for another day!

Another day. Yes.

Oh, who was I kidding.

Knowing how one path leads to another...

I knew I'd probably never come back for that first path. Sigh.

This will always make me a little sad. And make me wonder. And make me sigh.

I can foresee that years from now, I'll change up the story to make myself feel good.

The myth will go something like this:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by!

And that has made all the difference.

Ok, that version stinks. Hehe. But wikipedia people, I daresay the "literal interpretation" is, you know, what the poem actually says. (It's not a toughie.) As for an "ironic interpretation," the common interpretation is, itself, the irony! He said it himself: Frost is a trickster! Hahahaha!!

I said it before, I'll say it again. What a GREAT poem. :)

To quote an excellent film:

I saw a reference to a famous poem today, and that quote ran through my head. The poem is one you all know: The Road Less Traveled, by Robert Frost.

Oh, no wait, scratch that. Hehe.

Most people would like it to be about the road less traveled. But did you know it's actually called "The Road Not Taken"? :) (Whoa! How's that for throwing the supposed meaning of the poem on its head? Ha ha!) And that the one thing it for sure is NOT saying is that the speaker "took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." A nice thought, I guess. But, haha!, Robert Frost would either roll over in his grave or have a really good laugh that it's the phrase everyone remembers and uses to back up their "take the road less traveled!" motivational speeches. Personally, I think he'd laugh! After all, his poem has done wonders to prove he was right that this is what everyone really does say to themselves! "And I, I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!" Hahaha! Totally amusing. It makes me laugh for sure, and I'm not even the one who had thought about this enough to go and write a poem about it. Robert Frost must be having a good laugh. The poem is totally calling people out—and then we all use this very poem, completely incorrectly, to validate his point! Totally oblivious that a joke is on us! HA HA HA!

Anyway, read it again. It's a great poem. :) And, common misperception aside, it doesn't actually make me laugh, but rather think. And sigh. :) I love it, I love it, I love it.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Smile! It's your birthday!

He started out a little shell-shocked by the big to-do, but he got into it. Hehe. It was so fun to see him enjoy his birthday so much! He really was awed by the magic of it all. Like when the servers at the restaurant suddenly started singing to him.... "They sang a song...! For...me...?" Hehe. I'm pretty sure that was the coolest thing to ever happen to him. Here are some snapshots of a super-fun birthday for a super-fun kid. We love this little guy. :)

A veritable mountain of gift wrap. :) Lucky kid!

Here you go!

Because I could never ignore such an awesome request! ;) Thriller for everyone!

(This video always takes me right back to feeling like my kid-self. I used to love that it would come on multiple times while we were at my Grandma's every Halloween—it was my favorite thing of the day! It always scared me soooooo much...but in a GOOD way. I loved it. I still do! :))

Watch it!

Because Dave was right that this is AWESOME, I'm putting another Jackson 5 goodie on here. Ahhh.... Enjoy.

RIP MJ

Michael Jackson died, and as big a deal as it seemed, I thought... huh, there's just nothing to say. 

My first inclination was to think, oh no, I'm a Michael Jackson fan, I'm supposed to be reeling! But I have a serious problem with fans of some stranger's music bowing down before the person when, a) he's a stranger, and b) he's a PEDOPHILE! Hello?! That's just wrong. That's like saying to kids everywhere, celebrity-love is more compelling than you. Don't you think? I mean, wasn't it horribly disturbing when fans showed up by the hundreds to hold up support signs when he was on trial—for alleged child molestation! "Don't worry, Michael. I love Thriller, so I'll support you no matter HOW many kids say you abused them. Dumb kids, trying to take down Michael Jackson!" Anyway, that was all rather appalling. It's not quite as appalling that fans are swarming to bawl over his Hollywood Star. But, still.... I just couldn't go there. Besides, Jackson 5-Off The Wall-Thriller-Bad-Michael Jackson has been gone a long, long while anyway....

The other inclination was to notice a plethora of jokes that could be made about the relief in this situation.... Hehe. But, you know, the poor guy was super-disturbed, and it's just not nice to poke fun at the deceased.

So, we said, "What?! NO way!" And then . . . . There just wasn't anything left to say. (Not that the news thought the same. Hehe.) What a bizarre event. 

Go watch Thriller, though. Because it's awesome. And even more awesome are Jackson 5 videos. That kid—you know, Michael Jackson :)—was THE coolest, most talented child ever, ever, EVER! In my next life, I'm gonna have soul like that. :) Watch for no other reason than to marvel at the soul I'm gonna have. Ha ha!! ;) 

(The end is the best! Only two minutes, watch it all!)

Huh?

Why did my wildly hilarious elevator entry suddenly disappear? Ha ha! Lightning bolts from above because I admitted to that evil, evil deed! (Seriously, I've never had an entry disappear before. And I have no idea what happened.... Don't worry! It'll come back! Hehe.)

Morality

I recently saw a fairly interesting report of a Gallup poll that attempted to assess Americans' moral compass. It was pretty limited—I think respondents were only asked to define if they thought a certain thing was morally right or wrong (in most of these categories, I find myself thinking it's not so cut-and-dry). But many of the results surprised me! What do you think? Here's what the article reported:

Ninety-two percent of Americans who responded to a recent Gallup poll say having an affair is morally wrong [surprise: the other 8% said it's ok? hehe. Also, I was surprised it ranked so highly above some of the things below], more than any of these other deeds:

Divorce: 30 percent say it's wrong [higher than I would have guessed for how the question was apparently phrased]

The death penalty: 30 percent [Also higher, to my pleasant surprise—though I hope it gets much higher! I so do not understand how the death penalty is at all acceptable, other than when the person is really, truly a continuing threat to society, even from behind bars. Dreadful.] 

[A side note, though: I've often wondered if the death penalty could be appropriate for child molesters. Does that sound crazy, that I find it reprehensible against murderers, but maybe reasonable against child molesters...? First of all, nothing makes me angrier than a person being evil enough to hurt a child. Second, I can imagine that, unlike murder, the death penalty might actually help prevent child abuse. My mom thinks child molesters should be castrated from the first offense. Awesome! Too bad the Supreme Court would surely call it "cruel and unusual punishment," like hard labor is. And being killed isn't?]

Buying and wearing clothing made of animal fur: 35 percent

Gambling: 36 percent [wow! Other than other Mormons, I can't think of anyone who I'd guess would think gambling is morally wrong.... 36%!]

Medical research using stem cells from human embryos: 36 percent [I was glad to see that lower than I would have guessed....]

Medical testing on animals: 36 percent [I wonder what people are picturing here.... Could a whole 36% of Americans really think we shouldn't use animals to make advances in medicine? Without animal testing, we'd all still be dying when we're 40.... As I'm typing this, Matt is actually packing his bag to go do surgeries on mice and pigs to help figure out pulmonary hypertension, particularly for pediatric patients. That's kind of a funny concurrence. Hehe.]

Sex between an unmarried man and woman: 40 percent [40%!! Are you kidding me? That's actually pretty cool! Well...I guess.... If you consider that everyone fornicates anyway, maybe this stat is a little depressing.... :)]

Having a baby outside of marriage: 45 percent

Gay or lesbian relations: 47 percent

Doctor-assisted suicide: 56 percent

Abortion: 56 percent [a prime example of how this study might be too limited.... so many scenarios to consider here!]

Cloning animals: 63 percent

Suicide: 80 percent [again, too many different scenarios to consider...]

Cloning humans: 88 percent [And what are people picturing here? I picture cloning people for fun reproduction, and I can't imagine 12% thinking that's ok! But maybe people are imagining cloning to produce 16-celled embryos for stem cells...? If a Gallup pollster asked you if you thought cloning humans was morally wrong, what would you picture?]

Polygamy: 91 percent

Married men and women having an affair: 92 percent

Anyway, what do you think of all of it? Interesting, no? :)

I'd avoid it. I would.

But it's still less than half the cost of a photo-light fine.... ;)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

WHAT. THE. FREAK.

There's a Jordanism for you, since I miss the guy. And it's about . . . this product!

What the FREAK? ;) You pee in a cup, swirl it around (so it mixes with chemicals) and, apparently, with 82%-90% accuracy, you can tell if you're having a boy or a girl as early as 10 weeks. 

This sounds . . . sketchy . . . .

Any of you pregnant out there, will you please try this product and tell me how it goes? Ha ha! http://www.intelligender.com/product.php?productid=1

This comes to you courtesy of gmail's Big Brother. I hate that it puts up advertisements appropriate to the content of your emails. It's CREEPY!!! I hate it, I hate it. But I got an ad for this when someone wrote an email that mentioned baby gender, and about died of intrigue poisoning. 

Anyway, please! Try it! Ha ha! I'm dying to try it myself, but it would be pretty pointless. Hehe. (Besides, they say women with PCOS don't get to enjoy its loveliness, so I'll never be a user. Figures. We PCO sufferers miss out on all the good stuff. I'm still curious, though!)

Funny that these moms claim to have made this awesome test, but actual scientists haven't ever devised a urine test (or blood test, for that matter...) that you can get from your doctor.... HA! Like I said. Sketchy.