Evolution of a Model

I recently saw this on someone's blog, and thought it was kind of interesting.... (And not just to gawk at the hideous eye makeup. Yikes.) How great is Dove's campaign? I really hope it has some kind of impact.

Happy Days are Here!

Vacation begins in T minus 90 minutes. And counting! Oh, are we counting.

Sunday School

:) Why having church classes for 2-year-olds is either a really bad or totally awesome idea:

Seth: "Heavenly Father and Jesus love us. They do! They love us! Heavenly Father and Jesus are up, up, up in the sky. They're in the oven."

HAHAHAHA!!

Seven Pounds *SPOILER ALERT*

A few questions about this totally stupid movie (it was actually so stupid it was enjoyable :)).

• Why only save vegetarians? Did you notice? Hehe. I guess vegetarians aren't cruel. I bet that guy at the nursing home was a total meat-eater.

• HA HA HA!! They changed the color of Ezra's eyes! HA HA HA HA HA!!! What, did he have a full eyeball replacement? HAHAHAHA!

• Ok, so fierce jellyfish neurotoxins are going to make you a good organ donor, how...? Poor recipients.

• Did anyone else want to scream, "NO! DON'T! You're going to kill her!" when Will Smith decided to sleep with dying girl...? Because, seriously, he would have killed her. 

• They fell deeply, deeply in love in two weeks...? Ha ha! Ok. Whatever.

• Did this movie make you forget that Will Smith can make more than one face? That pained staring at people thing got soooooo... OLD. (He was so good in Pursuit of Happyness. And then there's this and I Am Legend...? What happened?)

• So, Will's irresponsible, flagrant texting causes the deaths of six totally random people (plus his wife, of course). And to make up for it, he's going to give life to, not totally random people, but people he can qualify as "good people." Wha...? That's kind of disgusting. 

• He promises abused lady that her boyfriend will never be able to find her, then has her promptly assume ownership of his house under her own name? Not smart, Will. Not smart.... (Beware of the sequel when boyfriend guy finds her in like, two weeks.)

• It's worth saying again: that face he kept making was ridiculous.

• What was so special about Ezra and what's-her-face getting together? Presumably there were lots of other transplant beneficiaries.... Why those two? Oh, yeah, because now she can look into his eyes once more. HA HA HA HA HA!!!

• So Will Smith wants to do something charitable for good person with the bad heart, and then makes her fall in love with him just in time for him to off himself? That wasn't very nice, Will....

• You know, he sure killed himself AWFULLY slowly for a guy who had already tipped the authorities off to his plans. I'm not thinking that would have worked out for him.... (And, again, the jellyfish was a bad enough idea that he must not have thought through this whole thing as smartly as he thought....)

• Moral of the story, then?: people with rare blood types owe it to the world to exchange their pathetic, jellyfish-fixated, guilt-ridden lives for the greater good. It's the only reasonable thing to do. What a hero. Ah, makes me feel at least as warm and fuzzy as what's-her-face looking into Ezra's Will Smith eyes. :)

(It at least got the organ-donation-is-the-only-reasonable-thing-to-do part of it right! Not that anything else went right, though. What a delightfully terrible movie! HA HA HA!)

Capitalization

What does it mean when people like to type things with no capitals? Whole emails or blog posts with no capital letters. It's gotta mean something—be connected to some kind of personality trait or attitude or something. :) 

i, for one, find it completely jarring. and i'm not sure what's most jarring.... the sentences beginning with lower-case letters, or the word i in the lower-case. unlike the sentence-openers, the word i doesn't even exist in lower-case, so it's pretty unsettling, no?

Anyway, whenever I see this strange thing, I wonder where it's coming from.... There needs to be a typing analysis science to go along with handwriting analysis! :) (The only thing I remember about handwriting analysis—other than the fact that my handwriting leans the opposite direction you'd expect, though I've forgotten what it all means—is the egocentrism that goes along with "inflated middle-zone." I notice it all the time now! Especially when people inexplicably have capital R's in the middle of lower-case letters. Inflated middle-zone. Hehe. Don't worry, if you're reading this and you do such things, I don't actually remember that you do. ;)) 

You know, reading back over my sans-capitals paragraph, I think I see a type style where double-spacing after a period in our post-typewriters-with-fixed-character-width computer world could actually be appropriate.... (That's one hot mess!)

Swine Flu

So, these days, Matt is working in the clinic with the first case that identified this new swine flu. I just think that's interesting.... 

(Also, the San Diegans with swine flu haven't been very sick at all. The kind of thing where they had a sore throat and found out later it was swine flu.... Apparently, all the U.S. cases have been very mild. I wonder why...? But the CDC is requiring swabs from any and all patients with respiratory symptoms (!!!). Whoa. That's a lot of patients to be swabbing!)

A funny conversation. :)

I thought Seth had been napping, but then he timidly opened his door (I think he knew he was supposed to not come out... :)) and from two separate rooms we had this amusing little exchange.

"Momma . . . ? I need to go pee...."

"Ok, go ahead and go by yourself and then go back to bed."

"I go in mine? Or go in yours...?" (meaning his bathroom or our bathroom)

"Go in yours."

"Yours?"

"No. Not mine."

"Not mine?"

"...Yours."

"Mine?"

"Yes, go in yours."

"Go in mine...? Ok. I'll go in yours."

(Hehe, I think he wanted to go in ours all along. :))

Sorry, my old abodes. Again....

Why Spring snow always made me cry even more than Winter snow:

Oh, the sadness!!

Need an Immune System Boost?

So Matt was working with some "Vitamin D expert" last week, and came home analyzing my life for me. :) Apparently, Vitamin D is the key to happiness. Hehe. I don't know all the little scientific details, but those of you interested might enjoy a bit of research—Vitamin D is supposed to be hugely beneficial to immune health. And it all made sense to Matt that I was an extraordinarily healthy person all my life until . . . my first Winter in Provo. And then my immune system tanked. Big time. Is the timing a coincidence? Hmmm.... All my life I'm outside practically all day long, and I'm healthy, and then there's no sun and I'm a disaster...? Anyone else have a similar pattern...?

And I guess my milk addiction couldn't get me very far. I'm probably getting these numbers wrong (check back for when Matt corrects me and I change them :)), but it was something like 150 units of Vitamin D in a glass of milk, while 10-15 minutes out in the sunshine gets you 15,000. Anyway, so on top of our current sunshine time, we're going on a Vitamin D-3 supplement experiment! I'll let you know how it goes. (Supposedly, it wouldn't be effective short-term, but in a couple months should start to make life even better. We'll see! :))

If this turns out awesome, I might just forgive Matt for getting hot glue all over the ironing board. ;-) 

(I was going to make curtains today, but the hot glue is a little intimidating!)

Natural Birth

There's a childbirth tag going around that I've almost filled out (since, you know, I'm enamored with forms :)), but I keep getting hung-up on a pet-peeve and end up wanting to write about it instead. :) My pet peeve rears its ultra-silly head in two questions on this tag:

1) c-section or natural?

2) drugs or natural?

To human beings everywhere, I've got to insist we were all born naturally! If you think having drugs makes it unnatural, then so do all your other unnatural resources. Maybe for the true "natural" birth you should go all primitive (as some societies in corners of this world still do...). I've heard of places where a woman will just disappear off into the wilderness and return hours or days later after giving birth by herself into a little hole she dug by a tree. Problem with a birth that "natural," though, is how frequently she has to return with no baby.... (Or doesn't return at all.) I don't recommend it. Not with our great resources available to give your baby a decidedly better chance.

And how is a c-section unnatural? Ha! Last I checked, there's still a real-live person growing in another real-live person. Sounds natural to me. Maybe if they went in with a robot doctor to extract a robot baby.... That might be venturing into unnatural territory.

I propose different questions. C-section or vaginal? Yes, that requires you use the word vaginal. It's very childbirthy, though. Even natural sounding. :) 

And as for the drugs question, how about "your pain required drugs, your pain didn't require drugs, or you were clever and used drugs to preempt pain entirely?" News flash, world: childbirth causes all sorts of types and intensities of pain. It's not predictable like stubbing your toe or something. The conversation as to whether everyone should or should not use drugs—or which route allows a more "beautiful" or "natural" experience—is totally irrelevant and off-the-mark. Even ridiculous. I've known people who have had an array of experiences even just on their own—who have had a drug-free labor that was also relatively pain-free and beautiful, another labor that threatened to destroy their soul for pain, another labor that was glorious because an epidural allowed them to enjoy the process and feel connected to their baby, another where pain-relief made them feel less connected—not to mention the differences between people. I can say, just from my one experience, there was nothing beautiful or natural or earthy or lovely about the few hours that labor was ripping my soul apart. (You know when multiple nurses—independent of each other—come in to fix the monitor they think is broken because they've never seen such contractions, and look at each other in disbelief when it isn't broken, and say things to you like "I've never seen contractions like this! You're a contractions machine!" that you're not in a good place.... ;)) Want to know when childbirth felt natural and mother-y and touchy-feely happy? When they were able to reduce my pain to something halfway manageable! I kind of feel like I experienced two kinds of labors in one shot. And, still, I can't say what I'd do next, because I don't know what it will be like. Maybe I'll get lucky and have more "normal" contractions, or even "easy" contractions, and can avoid the whole gross thing in the spine (UGH!! a miracle... but UGH!!). :) One thing I'd love to avoid, but never would allow myself to forego, is being in a hospital tethered to an IV and fetal monitor. No matter how wonderfully comfortable I would be without all that (I hate hospitals and IVs and monitors...), I'm such a huge believer in giving my baby the best chance. I think I'd even have qualms about delivering in a hospital without a NICU.... Here's this baby with no power to take care of itself—totally helpless. It's all up to the parent to give that baby the best chance, even if they have to sacrifice some small comforts. It's comforts . . . versus life. No-brainer for me. So give me that IV (I never realized until Seth came how important it is to have an open line for emergency drugs! I thought the saline thing was totally stupid until I heard Matt explain how critical it is to get that line when you know you can, and then ended up needing emergency pitocin myself to not hemorrhage...), and give me that monitor (which can save a baby's life... like Seth's...), and for the love of God (really...), give me that hospital with trained professionals who can do amazing things like take a baby (Seth) who would have died at home, and resuscitate him to near-perfection in moments (and actual-perfection in days... :)). Birth has always been natural and it still is, however it happens. :) And while there are many things we could do to further improve childbirth medical practices (malpractice reform! Ob/Gyn has an insane lawsuit threat that ties doctors' hands.... Midwives [if they know to use IVs] in a hospital-setting have a valuable place, too), the fact that we're so much better at keeping everyone involved alive now is a miracle we should never take for granted. Or, for heaven's sake, insult with the definition "unnatural."

So, thank you, to all our moms. Who gave birth to us naturally. :)

A Shocking Confession.

I have a deep, dark secret. It may spoil my reputation as a loving mother and child advocate forever. But I'm going to let it out anyway. I... hate... (and I mean hate) ... bathtime. [Boo! Boo!! Throw tomatoes on her!] I know, I know! Bathtime is supposed to be one of the joys of child care. But to me, all I experience is a back that wants to break—souring my good humor over things like tremendous splashes of bubbles everywhere. Is there any task more uncomfortable? Bending over a bathtub, scrubbing a kid...? Ugh. It kills me. I detest it. I've always hated it—and having my own cute kid did nothing to lighten my feelings. :) (Even though he IS really cute in the bath! I can appreciate with a little distance.... :))

Luckily for me, or maybe because of me, Seth has always loved the shower. I don't think we gave him a single bath as a baby (no cute pictures of a baby screaming in their little bathtub... darn :)). But, ah, shower time was so pleasant! He loved to just lay on someone's chest with the water on his back, and I would nap with him in the tub until the hot water ran out. Nice, too, that in the shower the poor baby never has to feel cold (though I realize some babies love the bath anyway...). I miss baby-shower time! (That was years ago now! Wow.... It'll be fun to have another one someday and do some of the fun baby stuff all over again.) Anyway, I was just thinking of this again when Seth was, unusually, asking for a bath today and I thought, HA! Not a chance.... Not until Dad gets home, at least. :)

Ugly Dogs

Ha ha! A few days ago we were playing at one of the small playgrounds on Mission Bay Park. Well, Seth was. We followed him around talking about how funny he is. :) It was that awesome hour before sunset—which is now late enough in the day that people actually get home from work to enjoy it—and there were tons of people jogging and biking and walking their dogs. Seth was loving all the dogs! And people were so nice—they'd stop when they'd hear him yell "dog!" from across the path, and let him catch up for a few moments to play with their pet. After having lots of fun petting several dogs, he started just acknowledging them while he ran around.... He's throwing sticks, he's dancing, he's spinning in circles, he's jumping or running—and whenever he passed a dog he'd just say "hi, Dog!" and keep on with what he was doing. He said hi to about a gazillion dogs (probably 20 :)) that way. Until he passed by this:

Ha ha! Now, this story would be so much better if I had the perfect pictures to show you, but I trust you get the gist.... He passes by this ugly creature (seriously, how can anyone stand to look at that every day? And take care of it...? :)) and says, "Hi, Cat!" 

Ha ha!! The looks on the owners' faces! We were dying. Matt said (not to the owners :)), "well, that's when you know something has gone seriously wrong in your species...." Seth was too busy rolling across the grass to notice he had said anything unusual. :) (A side note: he learned how to roll down hills recently, and loves it so much that now he'll drop on grass anywhere to "roll down." Which is hilarious when it's not a hill, and he's working so hard to just roll across, all the while maintaining a conversation with one of us. "How are you doing, Dad?" [roll, roll, roll] Fine, how are YOU doing, Seth? "FUN. I'm rolling down the grass." [roll, roll] :))

So anyway, we thought we had our blog post for the day. But then.... THEN!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! He's running along the path singing a song or something, and something like this walks by:

I say "walks" but I really mean "struts." This little pooch was freshly groomed. The lady walking it was coming straight from a salon or something, and was herself strutting. Poochie had a cute little bow on the top of her head that made her long hair stick out, and a perky little hairy tail. It was a silly little sight. And Seth.... He ran by, stopped dead in his tracks just long enough to say, matter-of-factly but with a happy little sound of surprise: "Oh! A rooster." And off he went again...! 

Ha ha! I'm not sure if the lady heard him because we were laughing too hard to notice. :)

Old Journals

I've been sorting through my kid journals and keep finding awesome things to laugh at! Even just the general workings of a kid-mind are hilarious. Or evidence that I did, in fact, grow up in the 80's. Or my melodrama! So great. Here are a few things I thought were amusing....

An introduction to my 11-year-old journal:

"Dear whoever reads this,

I hope that if you find this long after I am dead that you'll be able to learn all about me, and add me to somebody else's pedigree chart. 

Happy 21st or 22nd century,

Auburn Diane Golding"

Ha ha! 

(I'm not sure how I thought information from my 6th-grade journal could get me added to a pedigree chart.... "Aha! Check it out! She just wrote that she gave birth to Alfred John Golding, my 3rd-great-grandfather! Put her on my pedigree chart, baby!")

Another introduction went like this:

"My name is Auburn Diane Golding. I am tall for my age (5'2" at age 11) [I hit my height only a year later! And everyone passed me up.... 5'4" :)]. I love pizza, ice cream, and lasagna. I love reading and making friends. I am very athletic, and I love to have fun. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [I actually DID spell that right–no capital D or lack of hyphen :)] and I believe strongly in its teachings."

A little bit of innocent 7-year-old bragging:

December 11, 1988

"I had a Primary Christmas Program. I sang a solo called 'AWAY IN A MANGER VERSE TWO.' My cousins Kim and Tim came with Grandma from Perris just to hear me! I sang very pretty & the whole stake listened to me. I had so many comments! I loved it."

I wrote in pen later: "(although many people laughed)." Ha ha! I'm guessing some kid razzed me the next week in church or something.

Some funny stuff with my parents (I can't wait to see how our kids write about US!):

January 24, 1989

"Today was my eighth birthday! We couldn't have treats for a month so I didn't get any cake. But I did have a deal with dad that we could go to miniture golf."

May 13, 1989

"Today I went to the mall alone with mom & dad. I did a few things.

1. *Got my ears pierced (because my mom found out she was having another boy—usually 12  yrs. to get ears done)

2. Ate ice cream and a YUMMY piece of pizza.

3. Went to get baby things.

I would usually be sad for having a boy. But if we didn't, I would have to wait 4 yrs. to get my ears pierced."

HA HA HA HA!!! Oh man.... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

November 9, 1987 [just a fun tidbit: this is the negative-11th anniversary of the day I met Matt, which was almost 11 years ago now! It was funny to read how little I was—six years old here—and picture that as much time elapsed between it and meeting Matt as between meeting Matt and now. :)]

"Tonight my mom was putting in cutins [I had to read this entry 10 times before I finally realized I was talking about curtains here]. She used pipes. She wanted me to help her. I didn't understand, so I broke the pipe. My mom was sad. She put her head to the ground. I went back upstairs to go to sleep. My mom was not angry. Tonight I got a coloring book and crayons. I had a bad day today. I went to my brothers birthday (David's) party. My mom gave out bags with suprises in them. I got one but somone else needed one so my mom told me I needed to give it to him/her. When we got home I asked if I could have a bag she said "yes". So I got the bag and things to put in it. But all there was was stickers. I was mad & sad." Then I drew a picture of a face with tears—apparently pouring out of the ear. :) Hehe. (I've always been terrible at drawing. :))

October 18, 1987

"Today we took a walk. And me and my brothers Ran home And we scard my dad then he told my Mom he needed a kiss. She came in and we scarded her too. Boo!"

February 5, 1992

"I made the basketball team! I was so excited until I had to baby-sit my brothers. They goofed around the whole time & blamed it on me! Dad said that we would've gone to a BYU basketball game tomorrow night but now we won't. I'm so MAD!"

The next day: "Today I could have gone to a basketball game. Maybe dad will reconsider. I hope so." Hehe. 

Other disappointments:

January 24, 1991

"Today is my birthday. Tomorrow I get to go to DISNEYLAND! I'm SO EXCITED."

January 25th [in tiny writing and with sad faces everywhere]

"NO DISNEYLAND. It just didn't work out. Maybe Monday."

January 28th

"NO DISNEYLAND. Greg got sick. TOMORROW, YEA!!"

January 29th

"Greg's still sick. NO DISNEYLAND. Or tomorrow." And then, at the bottom of the page: "Next week. I can't wait that long."

Finally, February 5th! "Today mom and I went to Disneyland." So my mom had pity on me and finally took me herself. :) (I had some fun stories to share, too. :))

Some other fun Disneyland entries:

April 5, 1989

"Today we went to Disneyland. It was over 100 digrees so our whole day was going to restaraunts and getting drinks. We had fun although it was the worst time I had at disneyland. We went on, Captain EO, the train, tea cups, Small World, Snow White, Pinochio, merry go round, Jungle Cruise, (me and dad) Thunder Mountin, Treehouse, Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Carrabean, and last we went on the Monarail. In the parade I met either Madonna or Cindy Lauper and she pretended to kick me!" (I guess I couldn't figure out who she was supposed to look like! :))

 

April 20, 1990

"Today as we were walking around Disneyland looking for a place to eat we saw Bro. Thomas S. Monson! My mom wanted to eat at some places that were crowded. We begged to go to a less crowded place & suggested to get a fritter and a mint Julip. My mom agreed and we ate a fritter. As I was bringing the food to the rest of my family, I noticed someone who looked very familiar to me, yet I didn't know who it was. When I heard my mom say, "Sister Monson! I'm Sister Golding!" I smiled and held out my hand. Unfortunately, he was with my mom, then he went to Greg, then to Davey, and finally to me. By then my right arm was tired [I added in with a carrot, VERY tired :)]. We saw him about 5 other times that day and every time I felt how lucky all those people were to be standing next to someone so special. As I looked back I realized why I hadn't recognized him, it was the first time I saw him without a suit and tie."

And some funny, dramatic moments:

February 10, 1992

"Today it rained! This is so nice. Except in Malibu and around there are a bunch of floods. Some people have died. That's too bad. I love the rain but I wish it wouldn't kill people."

For some reason I can't stop laughing over that one. You should see it written out—it's even funnier somehow! (And yes, that was the entire entry that day. :))

February 20, 1992

"Today was the basketball tournament!!! At first, I was excited, but a little self-conscious. I didn't bring any pants to wear underneath my shorts so almost my whole leg showed. And to make matters worse, all the girls on the team had to change in the same room. Everyone saw me take my pants off, but my shirt was large and my underwear didn't have hearts on it or anything, so it wasn't THAT embarrassing, but akward. We rode over to Butterfield school on the bus but all I could think about was how stupid I looked. So I said a little prayer in my heart and decided I would untuck my shirt. I looked great!" :)

Ah, I love this stuff. One last one—it's the earliest evidence I can find that I have great taste. :)

October 30, 1987 (6 years old)

"Today I went to school and had a cupcake that had choclate frosting and candy pumpkin sprinkles. We also had orange juice and tortias with chili and chese on top. The tortias I ate all of. There was two and most of the kids didn't eat all of them but I did."

Haha! :) That's a cool six-year-old. :)

Awesome.

First of all, I'm loving the survey participation so far! Thanks! Any new visitors: the survey will be open for a while, so check it out!

I have to share some very fun, heart-warming stories about Seth. :) Recently, my heart sank to be among a large group of people and be the only person in the room who knew what funk was. Funk! I had said something like, "what we need is some good funk music!" And someone said, "what's funk?" Huh? What's funk?!! Enough to bowl a person over! And then no one else knew either! What's funk? I tried to describe. Uh, Earth, Wind, and Fire? [blank stares] Stevie Wonder? "All I know from Stevie Wonder is 'I Just Called to Say I Love You.'" [Now came MY blank stare. :-|]

Then there's our 2-year-old! Hehe. First, I must defend that—while we have been mildly brainwashy about how he should love Michael Jackson (hehe—we've watched Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson dance videos together since he was a baby, and along with learning animal sounds we taught him at 15 months that Michael Jackson says "OW!" Ha ha! :))—we haven't been overly persuasive about anyone else. Listening to music in the car, he occasionally tells us to: "Turn it UP! Wow, what's this song called?" Usually he means, "who is this?" Because when we tell him the name of the song ("It's called 'When You Were Young'"), he says, "What's 'When You Were Young' called?" The Killers. "The Kuhl-lers? Ok." It's SO fun to see what stands out as awesome to him! He loves a good rock beat. He also loves... FUNK! And blues! 

So, on to the heart-warming stories. We hadn't listened to any Stevie Wonder in a long while, so it was a fun surprise when we were in the car last week, and Amy and I were talking, and I said something about "one-hit wonder," and Seth chimed in from the backseat: "Stevie Wonder? I LIKE Stevie Wonder!" 

This got him in a Stevie Wonder kind of groove, I guess, because a few days later we were in the car and he randomly said, "Mom, I like Stevie Wonder. [pause] Mom, I like Ray Charlie, too." Ha ha! Could my heart burst any more?! :) When we got home he wanted to watch some Stevie Wonder and Ray Charlie, so I busted out "We Are The World" for the first time in a while. Sure enough, Ray Charles comes on and he goes "OOOooohhH!! There he is!!" 

Then, split-screen of Stevie Wonder and Bruce Springsteen. "Oooh! There's Stevie Wonder!" Bruce Springsteen leaves. Bruce Springsteen returns. "There's Stevie Wonder again!" 

WHOA. :-|

Hold up. I rewind. "THAT'S Stevie Wonder. [he looks surprised] And THAT'S Bruce Springsteen. Who do you like?"

"Brew Speeng-Teen!"

HA HA HA!! Great. Totally made me laugh since Bruce Springsteen had always been my favorite part of that video when I was a kid. (He's totally weird in it! It's awesome!) Anyway, I asked him if he wanted to see other Stevie Wonder videos, and then he recognized the music and got it all straight. He even started to do the Ray Charles/Stevie Wonder awesomely-cool head moves.

The next day, in the car, totally randomly like he'd been quietly thinking about it for a while:

"Ahhh.... I like Stevie Wonder. [pause] I love Stevie Wonder. [pause] Stevie Wonder starts with a B. With a G. With a J...? Wuh, wuuuuh, wuuuuu-under.... Wuuuuunder.... Wuuuuuu-under...." (I'm not sure he ever settled on "W" but he really was trying to figure it out! So cute!) Then some more quiet. "Mom, Stevie Wonder plays the harmonica." Yep, he does. "Mom.... I love Ray Charles, too. Ray Charles wiggles his head. Like THIS." And there was my totally funky kid, busting a move in his car seat.... :)

I love this kid!

 

And for all your all enjoyment, an awesomely funky video that made our day the other day. Go to my blog if it doesn't show up on Reader!

(Amusingly, Seth managed to enjoy the video for "I Just Called to Say I Love You" because it was SO cool that Stevie Wonder was talking on a phone. Ha ha! I just kept thinking about this thing I saw a million years ago, some countdown of the worst music videos ever, and someone had said about it: "That video... is a crime against a blind man!" Ha ha!)

Did someone say to make a 45 Random Things list?

Ha ha! It's harder to make a list for yourself than someone else—the explanations come to mind too easily! Also, for dramatic effect, I couldn't resist splitting some of the points into two or three. So it's probably really 25 things like it should be. (Matt's more concise list is still better. :)) Here are a few things about me that may interest a variety of readers. :)

For the sports enthusiast

1. I was kicked off the 6th-grade volleyball team twice! Ha ha! My teacher, behind my back, negotiated a mulligan when I was cut (the first time) from try-outs. Halfway through the first practice I hit the ball so that it flew back behind me and went through the basketball net. The coach came over and said something like: "you may as well just leave now.... This isn't going to work." Ha ha! I still hate playing volleyball. :)

2. I redeemed myself a few months later by being the star basketball player for the same coach. (We won the district. :))

3. In fourth and fifth grade, I had been the best volleyball server around.... Funny. :)

4. In 8th grade, I became temporarily good at high-jump. Natural talent! I was seriously amazing. The coach started having me at high-jump through most of P.E. every day, and visions of glory were running through our heads.... One day, I went to jump and none of it made sense! I tried again. And again! But it was gone.... Ha ha! Never came back. (That's what too much thinking can do to you! :))

5. I once ran over 100 miles in a couple weeks on a broken ankle. Very lovely. :)

For the person who knows what metaphysics means (I'm not sure I do...)

1. I'm pretty sure Socrates didn't exist. No one will ever be able to convince me he did. Hehe.

2. I enjoy looking forward to the future, and I reflect on the past more than I want to (see more about that below :)), but I'm pretty sure the present doesn't actually exist. What's the present? The thing I just barely did? Oh, drat! It's gone! Ack! Gone again! Ok, I'll try to savor the present as I type the period at the end of this sentence. Oh, whoops! :) I just don't see how the present can exist when our brains are too slow to process things in real-time, right? Everything "present" is a reflection of something that just barely passed! Now, an overall mood.... THAT I can sometimes appreciate as actually being in the present. It lingers enough to savor. But actions, events, thoughts, behavior...? You can only appreciate that it's about to be or recently was. The "present" is too elusive! It doesn't exist! (Just like Socrates. Hehe.)

3. I'm extraordinarily introspective. Which is sometimes kind of painful, to be honest with yourself about yourself! But I make myself work at it until I really understand me.

4. I have zero problem reconciling science and religion. And no misgivings about theories of the age of the earth and creation of the universe, or evolution.... The more we learn, the more I'm in awe of creation! Just think, all these billions and trillions of years—the slow, slow process of getting this earth just right so that life can develop just so, and so slowly—all for the sake of any one of us. That's how valuable a soul is. I'm in awe of what we know and of what we don't know yet, of God's amazing scope and love, and of how mankind has been flooded with knowledge and just keeps gaining more. Science is the opposite of offensive to me. It's really very inspiring. (I'm much more concerned about unequivocally turning a blind eye to learning for the sake of "protecting" personal faith. Faith shouldn't be so fragile.... Questions are healthy! More than healthy. They're vital! Besides, God is so incredibly incomprehensible to us that there is infinite room for mutually-exclusive ideas to not really be mutually-exclusive. And that's truly awe-inspiring to me.)

5. My weight fluctuates within about four pounds from day to day. (Apparently, my body does weird things with water!) I never know I'm actually losing or gaining weight until it dawns on me that I haven't seen my normal lowest or highest point in a while.... I think that's very metaphysical, don't you? :)

For the eye-roller

1. I'm the world's greatest sorter, collator, labeler.... Silverware putter-away-er...! Anything requiring a tedious, monotonous, continuous process. (Fun, fun. :)) My drive for efficiency met its perfect mate at my dad's office all my life, where my motor skills were fine-tuned on all sorts of print projects! Boring, ohhh yes. But blazingly light-speed-fast and perfectly efficient, yes, yes, YES!!! I'm seriously amazing. (And available for Christmas card labeling parties. :))

2. Feel free to roll your eyes at anything in any other category as well. :)

For anyone who knows it sometimes stinks to have an outrageously good memory

Without ever deciding to, I accidentally recall things I was embarrassed about or would like to go back and change on, really, a daily basis. I'll get this pit in my stomach and think, ok, why the pit in my stomach...? And then I'll realize that something reminded me of some distant event that I'd do differently if I could, or that was left unresolved. I'd love for my memory to not be quite so sharp....

For anyone who thinks it's normal to be a little phobic

1. I have a phobia of birds flying over my head. If there is a bird above me, I am 100% certain it is going to poop on me. Hard to not react to that.... :)

2. I can't eat meat that I didn't grow up on. Beef and chicken and ham, they're just beef and chicken and ham. But introduce a new meat to me—say, lamb—and I can't think of it as food! I just keep picturing an animal on my plate and, ugh. It turns my stomach. I try! But I just can't do it. Anytime I start to internalize the fact that beef, chicken, pork and ham are really.... No, I'm not even going to finish that thought. :)

3. I have a super-high tolerance for pain, but my tolerance for "creepy" is ridiculously low. I'll roll my ankle and tear a bunch of tendons in my foot, and walk halfway across a city with my foot swelling out of my shoe and bruising filling my foot and leg—hardly a grimace. But I shudder at the thought of, say, a flu shot. Putting stuff in me with a needle? Augh! Disgusting! [I shiver.] Looking forward to giving birth, I was way more concerned about getting through things like IVs and catheters than I was about labor pain. Ridiculous. (And, whoa, the labor pain was SO much worse than those things—as in, a different universe of awful. But even now, I shudder more remembering procedures than contractions....)

4. I detest drinking cold drinks from a mug. Ugh! I can't think of any reason why this would be, but it really makes the drink taste metallic or something. Disgusting. And such a gross feel on the lips! I'm all for a mug of yummy hot chocolate or herbal tea, though.

For the lover of precious metals

My last name used to be Golding. The first two letters of my first name are the atomic symbol for gold (Au). Gold was discovered in California on January 24, 1848 and I was born on January 24th at 8:48 (I'd like to be able to say I sparked a second Gold Rush :)). Pure gold is 24 karats.... And there are the 24 gold plates (for all you LDS folks...). And I was baptized on February 4th: 2-4. :) Twenty-four is positively golden, as am I! I really looked forward for a long time to my "Golden Birthday." (And I got pregnant with Seth at the tail-end of my golden year, so it really came through for me. :)) I also was really excited as a newlywed that the star player for Auburn's amazing football team that year was Williams #24. I went to the Auburn catalog and bought a 24 Williams Auburn shirt. :)

For the art-interested

1. Puccini (the composer) and Whistler (the artist) are irrevocably superimposed on each other in my mind. They are the same person! I can't break him into two people, no matter how hard I try. I don't know, maybe it's the awesome mustaches, the kind-of-sad expatriate thing, the butterflies and Asian-themes and mind-blowing gorgeousness.... (I really, really love him. I mean them....) 

1b. Other people I think of as the same: John McCain and Paul Simon (ha ha! I'm serious :)); Boy George and George Michael; River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain (I know, I know! That's insane! But I do!); Matt's alternate personality when he's insanely tired and Matt; and Plato and Socrates (oh yeah, it's because they really ARE both Plato). People I think of as separate: 80's Michael Jackson and post-80's Michael Jackson; um, I'm pretty sure I was just thinking of a few others, but the mind tends to freeze up when thinking about post-80's Michael Jackson. 

2. I studied Humanities in college, on a track that made it one of the most credit-intensive majors in the whole university (tons more than the average). Then I barely didn't finish...! (It was a lesson in pride-swallowing and over-achiever-control to graduate when it made sense instead of destroying myself to finish the major. Not easy!) The result: my "complementary course of study" that was required in the Humanities major—one of the least credit-intensive, most bogus majors known to man (I opted for it over a minor since it made a double-major just as easy)—became my only major; while Humanities, which I had studied approximately a million percent more in depth (probably twice as many credits or more, and definitely more challenging courses) is my minor. Too funny! I think I should petition to have them reversed. It just doesn't make sense!

3. As part of my Humanities studies, I spent a semester in London studying art and architecture.

4. I tried to count up the number of theatre productions I'd seen and gave up at somewhere around 85. (Luckily, even if it's been 10 or 15 years, I can remember the really good ones pretty vividly. Sometimes even lyrics and melodies of songs I've never heard again....)

5. I hated Phantom of the Opera. The one show the general public—the masses!—have embraced (how?!), and I seriously could not figure out how anyone can even tolerate it. (Talk about boring. And, ack!, all that stereotypical opera-screeching!) Maybe I just saw a bad performance.... I doubt it, though.

For my kindred spirits!

1. My Cheese-Radar is extraordinarily sensitive. :) I can't take the slightest bit of cheesiness. Please! No emotional manipulation! Just be normal and real or I want to puke. Or laugh. Usually both. (Girls' Camp was always especially difficult, four years at BYU almost destroyed me, and you couldn't have PAID me to go to EFY! Oh. My. Goodness. Kill me.)

2. I crave order (in appearance) and efficiency. If I ever go crazy, it will be because order and efficiency were lacking for too long. 

3. Bare trees are wretchedly depressing to me! If everything is green and mossy and wet, they can be nice (like England or Oregon...:)). But bare trees in flat-land no-grass Denver for eight months out of the year...? It hurt me. Ughhhh.... Or bare trees in six-months-straight-of-grey-grey-grey in Provo...? Oh man! I really, really needed more evergreens. Or sunshine. Or something.

4. I really, really don't like interaction in large groups. (And neither does Matt! This is one of the many reasons we shouldn't have a big family.... :)) To me, everything seems exponentially more real and genuine when there aren't a bunch of people together. Matt and I are both extraordinarily tough to entice to a party! (hehe :)) As a kid, I even hated going to my grandma's house for gatherings. I never made a big deal about it, and I didn't always anticipate I'd hate it, but once we were there the noise and commotion of all those people just made me want to crawl out of my skin. I much preferred seeing my cousins outside of the big group (and the ones I only ever saw in huge groups, I never felt I actually got to know...).

5. I'm hopelessly nostalgic but not at all sentimental, if you can believe those two traits can co-exist. I have no problem throwing old things away, I really don't need flowers on Valentines Day, and I would much rather soak up an experience than take the time to film it or get pictures.

6. I never spend more than 20 bucks getting my hair done. In fact, I feel a little put-out if I have to spend 15. I want to look put together every day, for sure, and even look pretty decent. But I just don't need ugly highlights, or that perfect haircut that's gonna grow too long again in two weeks anyway.... A haircut every 4-6 weeks at 15-20 bucks a pop is already stretching my vanity-meter to the extreme.

7. I haven't used a hairdryer in years. :) (Short hair ROCKS, by the way. I can't tell you how satisfying it is to have good-looking hair after only a minute or two of flitting some product through it! SWEEEEEEEET!!!)

For the academic

1. I wrote an undergraduate Honors Thesis about the effects of exposure to pornography on emotional intimacy. I was completing my research just as Matt and I got engaged and I was getting to know his extended family—it was a really funny conversation stopper when they asked what I was doing in school!

2. My second semester in college, I got Mono. For some freak reason, my immune system didn't bounce back, and I was sick with continuous infections (lots of viruses, including Mono recurring a couple more times) for more than three years. True story.

3. Someday, when our family life makes it compatible finally, I'm excited to go to graduate school. I'm not sure how I'll ever decide what the degree will be, though! Art History, Theory and Criticism just for kicks? (I'd LOVE it.) Social work? (I'd love that, too!) For fifteen years, I've looked at school counseling psychology.... Time will tell!

4. I'm a master editor of academic application essays! I think it's probably just the ultimate blend of my weirdo intuition and essay-writing skills (I'm a terrible creative writer, but I love crafting a good essay!:)). I'm pretty sure there are a few scholarship recipients floating around out there who never would have gotten that interview without da bomb essay-editing help.... I never write things FOR people. But I love to describe effects they want to go for in a sentence, or the kind of rhythm or idea they need in a spot, and see the brilliance they come up with. Somehow I just know what a sentence or paragraph will do to the reader. (My favorite success story is Matt's residency application essay. We were a great team! He had a number of interviewers comment that in the thousands of essays they'd read over the years, his was one they finally actually wanted to finish. Some even said it was the best they'd ever seen. Woo hoo!! And when he came to interview at UCSD, the director came right up to him and started asking him about his essay. It definitely helped our cause!)

For the zen/shaman/chiropractor-loving crowd

1. I'm pretty meditative. It sounds all new-age-y (and, whoa, I'm really not a new-age kind of girl :)), but I'm happiest when I have time for and access to beautiful, peaceful places to just sit every day and unwind, and sort of feel more connected to spiritual things. I've had a very difficult time when I haven't lived near peaceful, beautiful places.

2. I do not understand the idea behind organic food. Not that I'm against it, I just really fail to even begin to understand why anyone cares. Not treating produce is good, how...? (And organic milk tastes like grass! What the...?) 

3. BUT.... My favorite chocolate bar is the Green and Black's Organic dark chocolate with whole cherries inside! Mmmmm!! I don't even know what organic chocolate is supposed to mean. But it's SO good. And, wow, the whole cherries are amazing.

For the genealogist

1. I have some awesome ancestors! Priam, son of Zeus (I'm not joking). Lady Godiva. Princess Narragansett and her chief dad. And even Chinese and Mongolians from hundreds of years ago! I used to think all that British royalty in our lines was cool, but come on.... Priam and Lady Godiva and Asians pushed to Turkey by Genghis Khan...?! It pays to keep going back in your genealogy! :)

2. We don't know their names, but we have Cherokee ancestors only a few generations away. I may be pasty white, but I inherited the high cheekbones, flatter face, and almond eyes (so did Seth!). The one full-blooded Native American friend I've had asked me randomly which tribe I came from, like it was just a given I'm part Native American (I loved that :)). And in Korea, a couple people wondered if I were part-Korean. Kind of fun! :)

3. Ok, this isn't strictly about genealogy, but I couldn't find another place to put it. I LOVE to fill out forms! LOVE it. It's so funny to me that form-filling is one of the classic distastes of human experience, because I LOVE it. I used to roll my eyes at internet tags, but the lure of filling out a form finally got to me. Now I'm tempted to fill every one out that I see! Just to fill in the blanks. I love to fill out Matt's paperwork for applications and things—which comes in quite handy for him, since he despises it. :)

And with that, I leave you to find something else to fill out...! :)

Four names that people call me:
1. Auburn :)
2. Momma
3. Mom
4. Ms. Auburn

Four jobs I have had:
1. my favorite was working with special ed kids (severe needs) in elementary school--they're some of the loves of our life!

2. advertising rep. and various other things at Golding Publications

3. telephone survey expert, extraordinaire (I could write ten whole blog posts about that job :))

4. BYU Admissions something-or-other (and expert extraordinaire—I know all their secrets :))

Four movies I would watch more than once:
1. Citizen Kane

2. Amadeus

3. Anne of Green Gables ;)

4. Forrest Gump

5. (because I need a #5 here :)) Stranger than Fiction

Four places I have lived:
1. San Diego

2. Murrieta, CA

3. [reference removed to protect innocent sufferer of PTSD] :)

4. Denver, CO

Four places I have been:
1. Korea!! (love it)

2. Central America (Guatemala and Costa Rica)

3. inside Stonehenge with no one but Matt and Seth (so cool)

4. Venice

Four goals:
1. to make a photobook of the year every New Year's (I still haven't done 2007's OR 2008's :))

2. to never be too overwhelmed with life to really, REALLY be able to savor and enjoy my time at home with our kid(s—I hope :))

3. to have that awesome view someday :)

4. to learn how to really play my viola

Four of my favorite foods:
1. burritos!

2. pastries!

3. cereal

4. mangos!

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. you mean somewhere other than gorgeous San Diego with Matt and Seth...? no where!

2. ok, ok. Maybe, uh.... walking through the Avenue of the Giants (quite possibly the most amazing spot on the planet) 
3. in a theatre in London

4. in a jet spa.... or, even better! getting a massage!

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. Daylight Savings Time (killing time indoors for three hours before Seth's bedtime is cruelty)

2. Matt starting Year Two of residency and interviewing for fellowships

3. Matt starting his cardiology experiments on mice and getting some sweet results

4. a whole year of beautiful outside!

Four TV shows that I watch:
1. American Idol (we watch faithfully, but have only voted a couple times...!)

2. The Mentalist

3. The Office

4. House

In Defense of California's Alleged Lack of Free Immunization Clinics on Every Corner like in Utah - A Manifesto

This is by Matt. Enough said. :) [This is Auburn now, who must add that if it's not immediately clear, Matt was anything but heated—though passionate— and giggled through his whole writing of this. Hehe.] 

A rant (but I'm not raving):

I must speak in defense of California's health system (which, by the way, is the envy of the nation) (and by the way, this is Matt snooping on Auburn's facebook page, I don't and won't have my own login [this didn't end up on facebook, though, since the rant went on too long... you don't want me to have a facebook login]):
California DOES have many walk-in immunization clinics, but it is true that they are fewer and farther between than other states (including Utah). There are several reasons for this, but let me first point out why some states DO have lots of walk-in clinics. Some states (especially certain states with LOTS of kids [and as a pediatrician, I say that in the most positive way] realize that if they don't provide free walk-in clinics, then they WILL need to provide free epidemic control clinics for measles, chicken pox, etc. Because they realize that, particularly when families have lots of kids, there is a statistically-sound higher probability that said families won't necessarily make the wise (very wise!) investment in health insurance coverage for those families. And coincidentally, those same states also have very limited public insurance/coverage for kids (because federal medicaid and SCHIP funding is augmented and distributed by the states, so states that have residents who really don't believe in taxation also have much less money to fund their medicaid program). So, free walk-in shot clinics are the cheapest way to provide no chronic healthcare to kids.
So, why does California have fewer of these clinics? Because California provides much more COMPREHENSIVE and FREE healthcare to its kids. If a kid is a legal resident of California, she has to have pretty rich parents for her to not qualify for MediCal/SCHIP-funded insurance, which provides for not only immunizations, but all well-child visits, all sick visits, all hospitalizations, etc. If a child is not a legal resident, there are other options for coverage, including many regional programs (San Diego has First Five which provides healthcare—and much more—for all kids under five), temporary and/or emergency MediCal, and many community-based free or $5 urgent care or immunization clinics (I know of at least 5 different immunization clinics in San Diego county [actually, it turns out there are over 40], two that are free and 3 that provide all immunizations for a $5 co-pay). Anyway, the California system is far from perfect, and there ARE still some gaps in coverage (particularly for migrant families), and there IS way too much paperwork in order to get coverage AND processing times that are too long (though much of the coverage is retroactive), but it is in many ways the best system in the country (and is definitely the best system given the enormity of the population, both legal and not).
Hopefully, with President Obama's recent actions, healthcare coverage for children will become more universally accessible nationwide (which will help all those currently un-insured kids in Utah AND California), and this dissertation will become somewhat moot. For the time being, however, I have to take a stand and say that I am proud to live in what is by many measures the most-taxed state so that I can, with my meager contribution, help pay for providing healthcare (beyond just immunizations) to those who aren't allowed to insure themselves (kids, that is).
But hey, whatever you think of the above, just GET YOUR KIDS IMMUNIZED!!! AND ONTIME (there's a reason for the schedule, people!!!)!!! please :)
!!!

Cereal, Glorious Cereal

I've had this blog too long to still be neglecting my great and loyal friend: Cereal. Mmmm...! It's the best! Here are some random things I feel like sharing about it.

The picture is of me eating Smurfs cereal a long, long time ago. (Notice the glee!) Does anyone remember Smurfs cereal? I still do—I can still taste it.... Oh, Smurfs cereal! Why are you gone?!

My favorite cereals are:

#1! Great Grains–raisins, dates, pecans. YUM!!

2. Raisin Nut Bran

3. Special K–fruit and yogurt

4. Honey Bunches of Oats–almond (especially good with banana!)

5. Wheat Chex

6. Oh's

7. Cinnamon Life

8. Frosted Shredded Wheat–blueberry or big bite

9. Honey Nut Cheerios

10. Quaker Oatmeal Squares

(I've also been known to really enjoy Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles with fresh strawberries, and even [feigned embarrassment...] Cap'n Crunch with crunchberries! :))

I never, ever spend more than about two bucks on a box of cereal. I'm also kind of obsessive about buying it! I can't go through a grocery store without walking down the cereal aisle looking for what happens to be on sale—if one of our favorites is cheap, I stock up. Sometimes I think, oh, I'll get four boxes. No, six. No...we really like this one, I'll get 10.... Hehe. When I start to feel like maybe I don't need to buy any more cereal for a while, I look at our stash in the garage and say, hey! But it's great food storage! And it is, right? Plus, it's always depressing to actually run out of something like Raisin Nut Bran, and also depressing to spend five bucks on it when it used to be on sale for two. So I think I'll be a filler-of-carts-with-cheap-cereal for...ever.... :)

Best idea I ever had: Dessert Cereal! Ha ha! I can't wait to manipulate our kids with this one. Every kid loves trash cereal right? And every kid loves dessert right? So you let them pick out their Cap'n Crunch and Chucky Larms all they want, but it's, get this . . . dessert cereal. Then you let them pick out breakfast cereal. Oh, it's so brilliant. And how much more acceptable does Cap'n Crunch seem when it's their dessert instead of brownies? Not such trash anymore, is it? Yes, yes.... Dessert cereal! Our kids will love it. :)

Cereal: the reason I have diminished hope in having a girl someday. A study was published last year where some 800 women were followed surrounding pregnancy. Those who had a diet before conception of calorie-rich foods, most notably [sound of doom!] cereal, were 50%—fifty percent!!—more likely to conceive a boy. Cereal and bananas were the two things mentioned specifically. Well, there you go. I've tried a few times to give up cereal for a while in preparation for one day having a girl, but it's impossible I'm afraid. (Women were 50% more likely to conceive a girl if they ate, well, basically nothing...! All those salad-and-water people. I'm all for a great salad, but not before I've had my cereal. :))

Cereal: the reason I lost all that baby weight plus 10+ pounds. After Seth was born, I kind of experienced a cereal diet. Home all day for the first time ever, my eating schedule got kind of disrupted (read: I kept wanting to eat! :)). Cereal was my good friend—kept me from eating a bazillion calories a day. And, wow, that weight just melted off! (Nursing was my other good friend—probably even the better one. :)) Anyway, nursing + cereal = excellent diet plan (for me, at least). Thank you, cereal! 

This blog entry: the reason I need to go pour myself a cup of cheerios. :)

Ha!

I just saw a headline proclaiming: "Idol Season is Most Unpredictable Ever." And yet.... I've correctly predicted the first six finalists! Tonight will be no exception! I'm unstoppable!! 

Thank you, thank you.

25 things post-script

Upon reading the 25 random things list I made about him, Matt, well, first he rolled his eyes at me. :) Then he said, well, ok, but you should add THIS! A couple things. So here they are, the two things Matt wants the world to know!

1) He wants to be THIS:

Black and muscle-y...? Yes, he does! (seriously :)) Hehe. But he also has a lifelong dream to be a backup singer! The sillier and/or soulfullier, the better. The Pips, for instance. The Lovely Ladies. Back-up singers for Stevie Wonder (soulful and sometimes silly), for the Carpenters (totally silly), and in any song where you notice the backup singers are doing something ridiculous. His favorite lately, as we've already addressed, is Queen. "OH! Why?! Why couldn't I have been a backup singer in Queen?!! Aaahahghhrrhrghghg!" :)

2) Contrary to popular assumption (which he kind of resents... :)), he isn't content to live just anywhere, is not ok with bad weather, and is definitely not hooked on San Diego because I told him to. :) In fact, he's pretty confident San Diego is his dream even more than mine! HA! I'm not sure how to determine which of us is more at home here, which of us wants it more. Maybe count up how many times a day one of us says to the other, "Ahhhhhh.... We live in San Diego! I'm... soooo... HAPPY!!!" Hmmm.... Honestly, I have to admit, I think Matt could win. :)

3) Oh, and yes, I forgot there was a third thing! His favorite song ever, ever, EVER is Roxanne by The Police. Seth likes it, too, which does his heart good. Hehe. :)

And I have a P.S. to add myself! We recently had to speak in church and I was really jealous of the about-to-be-added #26:

Matt had a surgery a few years ago and had to sign off liability on all the known side effects. He could have some nerve issues, increased sweating in certain areas, blah blah.... All uncommon. But one of the most common things they said to be prepared for, buried in the middle of normal-sounding symptoms, was "decreased nervousness in public speaking." Ha ha! "I'm sorry. The surgery had some unintended side effects. From now on you won't . . . be nervous about public speaking! [pause] Would you like a moment alone...?" Awesome.

(I was jealous of this because it was the first time in years that I had done any public speaking, and the time before had been a little bit insane. I had gotten up there and been seriously afraid I'd fall asleep standing up—I had the hardest time remembering to speak at a normal pace, I felt like I was talking like a zombie, and I kept picturing that I'd suddenly just fall over asleep and the whole congregation would be utterly shocked. Exciting. Even worse, without any warning at all, I kept bursting into tears! It was ridiculous. Two days later . . . I found out I was pregnant with Seth.... Hehe. Anyway, I was a bit nervous to get on the horse again, but once I got up there it was all good. And no confusing signs of pregnancy before all the world this time.... :))