The PAC-∞

Now that the little gerrymandering pretending Arizona and Arizona State are along the Pacific has stretched an additional 1000 miles, it's officially time to rename the Conference. Here are a few suggestions:

Both Sides of the Continental Divide Athletic Conference, or BSCDAC.

Western Half Conference, or WHC, pronounced just like WAC but with the "hhhhhh" sound that shows up in some accents of the newly incorporated area. "W-hhhhh-at? W-hhhhhh-ere? W-hhhhhh-AC." Yes! :-D

(The biggest question is: where to put the hyphen? Hehe. Is it the Western-Half Conference or the Western Half-Conference? :))

The Oregon Trail Conference. Not only has football gone OTC, but now we can relive our favorite childhood game. Will we die in Colorado? Fork off to the Gold Rush in California? Shoot Buffalo in Boulder? (Haha!) On a side note, I've always wished Colorado fans would chant "Go Buffalo!!" instead of buffaloes. Wouldn't that be glorious?! "Buff-a-lo! Buff-a-lo!"

The MAC-∞. Montana Athletic Conference. Why not? Makes about as much sense as PAC these days. ;-)

The Circa-Idaho Conference, or CIC. Not "C" "I" "C." Cic. (Sure, it sounds like sick. That's ok.)

The Our Bluff Was Called and Now We're Stretched Too Thin Conference. We could call them Stretchy for short. "And how is the Big 12 faring against Stretchy this year...?"

The article I read about incorporating the Univ. of Utah ended with a bunch of facts why the PAC-10 would want them. "They're 6-0 in bowl appearances, etc., etc." The last line was something like, "They are also looking to gain the Salt Lake City tv market which is the 31st-largest in the nation." Which totally made me laugh. Haha! 31st? Why even bring it up? How many tv markets can you go after in sports? I can just see the board meeting now: "You know what would really pull us out of this slump? If we could just snag the 31st-largest tv market ohhhhhhhh baby! Now that would put us in business!" Boss-man, rubbing his chin: "You. I like how you think. Jones, make sure he gets a promotion. Wilson, you get that 31st-largest market however you can! I want proof positive on my desk by tomorrow or you're through, you hear me?! Through!" Thinking to himself: "When this is all over and I'm soaking in my new hot tub from the huge cash flow, we're gonna have to give our conference a new name. Or maybe just a number. 31. Yesss.... Yes!!"