[Warning: this post contains words like "uterus." Just thought you might like to know. :)]
#3 – SUNBURN!!!
I'm not talking your ordinary sunburn. I'm talking the kind where you—you who just never happens to cry for pain, not ever—almost burst into tears when your dad tries gently, so so gently, to get a little bit of aloe on your back. My dad is so sweet. Whenever I (or any of my non-Jordan brothers who are as pasty white as I am :)) got a terrible sunburn, he insisted on being the only one to put aloe on since he's the only one who knows first-hand just how excruciating it is. "People think they know sunburns. They don't! But I know what you're going through!!" I felt the love. :) (Also, the pain.... ;-))
After doing this to myself several times, I'm on a lifelong quest to never let it happen again. My name is Auburn, and I accidentally get fried. I've been defried for ____ years and ____ months.
#2!—HSG :-|
Ugh. Ack. UGHHHH.... Blukja;gkjakjas;gjkjasfasdjhfhjbaw.... No one told me it might feel exactly like labor pain. "Prepare for some minor cramping from dye being inserted in your uterus." I didn't even worry about it. Cramping I can deal with. (And it was intense, and it did last the whole day, but big deal. Just cramps.) But the excruciating PAIN during the procedure was totally indescribable. I guess a lot of people don't have it very bad at all (luck of the draw—what your cervix happens to be doing on the day you get the procedure). But I still can't believe that in all that literature they gave me, no one filled me in that some women describe it as the worst pain they've ever felt. "Take some ibuprofen for possible cramping." Bah! That's all you have to say? Who cares about the darned cramping? There's a stinking clamp and inflated balloon in your cervix! [Shudder.] Horrible. I can't even describe how horrible.
#1 – Labor.
The one time I've shed tears for pain. Took me to a whole other place....
I have to admit, I always expected something would end up beating labor out for the top spot! With Seth's violent labor behind me now, here's to hoping nothing ever does. ;-)
What's been your most painful experience? Let's torture each other with awful stories!!! ;-)
4 comments:
My worst pain came with birthing 3 babies naturally. Also having an amniocenteses with Hannah was pretty uncomfortable. I have no idea the pain you just went through!
This may come as a surprise, but I tend to block out my memories of painful experiences. Sometimes in the moment they happen.
During intense contractions, I just stopped talking is all and the nurse looked at me in surprise and said "didn't you feel that?" "Feel what?", I asked. Another contraction off the little paper ticking by. "That!", she said. "Oh, yeah. I felt that. I just didn't know what you meant at first."
I do remember a painful sunburn last year that actually did have me in tears. My shirt made it worse, the aloe made it worse as it dried, just moving from sitting to lying (on my tummy) made it so painful. But the memory lessens with each passing month. Let's hope the lesson doesn't. Never try to apply sunblock to your own back. You will miss spots. And you will be sad.
A root canal of over a decade suddenly failed on me, and within 45 minutes, a molar went from feeling uber-sensitive to flaming hellfire. Nothing could bring down the pain until I was able to score an emergency Lortab prescription about 15 hours later, and it wasn't until they could pull the tooth a couple days later that I began to feel actual relief. The abscess had swollen to about the size of my fist, and it took a couple of drainings before the swelling began to stop. It was like drilling straight into the nerve of the tooth and playing Little-Shop-O-Horrors on it for the better part of a day.
I have been thinking about this since last week. I am still not sure I totally know, but here is what I know now.
1. Labor for sure. Especially when my water breaks. And I get epidurals...but it didn't work once. ugh! I would beg to differ with the anesthesiologists, I could maybe die of labor pain! ;) This also includes the miscarriage pain I dealt with at home. Thank goodness for husbands.
2. Tooth pain, particularly my sensitive teeth when they are contact with something cold or too sugary up under my receding gums.
3. Either my mysterious kidney pain that dropped me to the floor once (but resolved within an hour so it seemed fast which was what made it tolerable), or when my "nubin" (aka: small bump on a little toe) on my toe gets stepped on by someone wearing a shoe (when I am not).
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