Oooh.... This one's a goodie!

"Although the mother has no direct responsibility for the care of her baby during the first week or so of the puerperium, she will naturally want to acquaint herself with all that concerns this new and precious possession."

On Smoking

From Expectant Motherhood.

"While most obstetrical authorities, then, disapprove of excessive smoking in pregnancy (twenty-five or more cigarettes daily), there is no reason for believing that a woman who smokes moderately, let us say ten cigarettes or less a day, need change her custom at this time. If you have been used to smoking considerably more than this for several years, by no means try to give them up in pregnancy. There is no surer way of upsetting the nerves at a period when you should be calm and happy, or of converting a placid, sweet-tempered girl into an intolerable shrew. With negligible effort, even the most inveterate smoker can usually be content with a package a day or somewhat less, and if you arrange this there is no great cause for concern."

Really, people.... We just need to preserve the placidity of our sweet-tempered pregnant women...! (Er, I mean pregnant girls.) :-D

Clothing.

Courtesy of Expectant Motherhood.

"The most important consideration in regard to the expectant mother's wardrobe is that it should be attractive."

Ok, stop right there! This is already awesome!

"This may sound like a superficial observation but it is profoundly true. Yes, more important than knowing the dangers of circular garters and high heels is the knowledge that you are well-groomed, because only then (if you are like most women) will you really enjoy entertaining your friends and meeting your husband's friends, and in turn visiting their homes. Pregnancy is no time to be a recluse. The more you are in the company of others, the better off you are; indeed, I have long chronicled the impression that patients who start in labor while playing bridge invariably [invariably! Wow!] have an easy time [emphasis added ;)]. This is simply another way of saying that the woman who cultivates a certain oblivion to the fact that she is pregnant (although obeying the ordinary rules of diet and hygiene) does much better than her introspective sister."

It gets better! :)

"As the appearance of many expectant mothers attests, it is possible to look as attractive at this time as at any other. To be sure, the abdominal rotundity is a handicap [hahahahahaha!!!] but, for some reason, during the middle months of pregnancy women develop a special radiance which is most becoming and [wait for it!] tends to offset this."

HAHAHAHA!!!

HAAAAAHH!! [*wipe eyes*] Ok, continuing.... :)

"Moreover, maternity dresses are so ingeniously contrived these days that they resemble an optical illusion in their ability to beguile the eye in regard to your real contour—which, incidentally, is always more noticeable to you than to anyone else. Patterns for such garments, as well as the ready-made dresses themselves, are readily and inexpensively obtained at any department store and it is a good idea to exercise your ingenuity on this problem."

Love it. Am I the only one laughing my face off right now...? :)

Pearls of Wisdom

Long before there was "What To Expect When You're Expecting" there was another primer on all things pregnancy: "Expectant Motherhood." An indispensable guide! It was written by Dr. Nicholson J. Eastman, M.D., the Obstetrician-in-Chief to the esteemed Johns Hopkins Hospital.

I know this because my mom likes to buy us awesome antique books. :)

This book was first published in 1940. I have the Second Edition, which was published in 1947 offering more modern advice (my copy is a 1949 reprint). I have no idea how long this book was a standard. But it's hilarious. Hahahahaha!!!

I'm not sure what's funnier: the medicine, or the social commentary! Let's just say I have an even greater appreciation now for booming research and also for women's lib. ;-)

(Although, to give this guy, his society and his field credit, I'm sometimes even more surprised with how progressive some of it is. I'm curious how this 1949 version might be different from the 1940 version—the War changed so many things for American culture and for medicine.)

I give you some gems! And I'm sure there are enough to keep them coming for the next little while. Enjoy!!

"Today, thanks to the studies of two German doctors, Aschheim and Zondek, we have at last a sound and trustworthy test for pregnancy and interestingly enough it is performed, like the tests of old, on urine. In carrying out the test a small quantity of morning urine is..."

Can you complete the sentence?

He's just spent several pages talking about how difficult it is to diagnose pregnancy (a problem which is actually kind of interesting to imagine!), but now.... Now! Finally! A simple, easy test!! The small quantity of morning urine is...?

"...injected into a mouse or rabbit."

Of course!

"If the urine comes from a pregnant woman, definite and characteristic changes are produced in the ovaries of the animal within 48 or 72 hours; if the person is not pregnant no alterations whatsoever occur. This test is accurate in about 95% of cases."

:)

Even awesomer!:
"The skeleton of the growing baby is usually demonstrable in X-ray pictures of the mother's abdomen from the beginning of the fifth month and when thus seen is, of course, absolute positive proof of pregnancy."

Ah. Yes. So now we know what the deal is with those Baby Boomers.... ;-)

Actually, it at least goes on to say that visualization is rarely possible before 14 weeks (today's 16), so it's not that useful and is rarely used. Whew!

Wearing thin....

Yet getting so... not thin. ;-)

I'm at 28 weeks now. I think a week or two ago, a switch went off that went: "Ding. Third Trimester. Engage Misery." Not that I wasn't super-tired and super-sore the whole second trimester, too—but, wow! I'm just dying now! Awesome-baby-who-I-swear-I-adore is in my ribs now*. I'm getting a bit of a respite from the kicking-against-the-pelvic-floor trauma that seemed to last much of every day for so long (now it's just bits here and there), but my ribs! AhHOHOWHEHAHKJdfhkhsdfjhajhwoHWHAL!

[That groan turned out kind of cool. I like it. :)]

And, man.... Everything—everything!—just hurts. And I'm randomly morning-sick again, although this time, really just in the morning.

I'm overwhelmed, though, with how all this physical trauma (the pregnancy and the medical loveliness for so long before) is such a small price to pay. It really doesn't seem just to not suffer even more for something so miraculous and wonderful. So while I let myself acknowledge that, yikes, this is really, really miserable(!), I'm also really in awe. And so full of gratitude.

We have a good idea of her birthday ;-) (watch our plans get foiled, though!), and I'm counting the days...!

*Stand up. Find the top of your hip. Now find the bottom of your ribcage. How far is the span between bones? Mine is no more than an inch! Seriously! (My legs are 2/3 my total height!) This isn't so convenient when housing another human being.... The ribs—front and back—are truly suffering. Suffering, I tell you! Suffering! ;) 


Love, love, love you, baby girl. :-*

Auburn's Tips for Vacationing Off-Season!

Undoubtedly, there are places which should not be visited outside of the tourist season. ;-)

Alaska, for example.

I'd love to take an Alaskan cruise one of these days. My favorite travel months of November through February would, uh.... Probably not work out too well.

When we were planning our trip to Costa Rica, we were a little worried about reports that through much of the year, the country is under water and you need to ride a kayak around. (Or something like that.... ;-))

What can you do? Gotta go during tourist season, right?

WRONG!

You can still beat the system! Muwahahahahaha!!

Check for the when hotels and vacation rentals and airlines claim "low season," "medium season," and "high season." Do NOT go in high season. It will cost a ton more, and the experience will be worse. DO go in low season!

But go for the first or last week of it.... ;-)

Muwahahahahahaha!!! Oh, so sneaky!

(Not really. It's pretty obvious. And yet...? No one does it....)

This will make your vacation cost half as much, give you a thousand times the experience, and the weather will be virtually the same. Jackpot. Cha-ching! Cha-ching!

Maybe I'll end up with more tips than just this. We'll see. :)

Vacationing in Summer. Part Three.

A few years later, I was back in England—this time as a student of art and architecture (no, not creating my own :)). I showed up the first of the year.

For the next few months, I got to know London in a really fabulous way. I love London! I had a great time becoming familiar with the subtleties of London culture. It began to feel like a home away from home.

And then . . . .

SPRING BREAK!!!

[Cue Psycho slashing music! Strings, strings, strings, strings!!]

Americans descended upon London like the plague. Not that I have anything against Americans in London.... (I was one, after all. :)) But they all came at once!

The city was changed.

Everything was more crowded. Dollar bills filled the donation bins. The locals seemed to disappear.... Instead of the usual dispersement of wandering patrons throughout a gallery, crowds followed each other to sardine themselves in front of something like Sunflowers by Van Gogh. (Furthermore, Americans aren't as quiet in galleries....) Bridges were suddenly crowded with tourists snapping pictures of Parliament, or St. Paul's, or the Tower of London. Those obnoxious tourist buses (for folks who go to a city to sit in a tourist bus) were out and about in droves.

The foot traffic on the sidewalks shifted sides, for heaven's sake...! :)

It was a different place! Really a very stark, unexpected, jarring contrast! (Kristin can back me up on this. It's true! :)) And I couldn't help but feel really, really sad for these thousands of people who were taking a trip of a lifetime, but had no clue that they weren't experiencing the real London.

A couple weeks later.... The American plague was gone, and London went back to normal.

And I logged away this rule of thumb: I'll never travel during Spring Break, either. (Not unless it's a place no one would go in Spring.... Like...?) What's the point of exploring a new culture if you'll just find a bunch of other visitors there? And even if I'm just visiting exotic Montana or something, I want to see exotic Montana the way the locals do! I want to see the quiet days! (Are there unquiet days in Montana? ;-)) I want things uncrowded and authentic. I want to soak up the culture. I want to wander a "tourist trap" on the days when it's left the most normal—the most natural, or the most empty, or the most quiet—and when it's being explored the way its own culture explores it.

And I definitely don't want to be one of those people who visited London during Spring Break 2001 without realizing that in the weeks before and the weeks after...it was a different place. They almost came at the right time. So close....

Strike Three against Summer travel. You're out, Summer. :) (And take Spring break with you. ;))

Vacationing in Summer. Part Two.

The next year, another spur-of-the-moment trip. (I love my family. :)) My dad came home from work one day and said, "Anyone want to go to England in a few weeks?!" Hahaha!

He had noticed some amazing fares and jumped on it, figuring, why the heck not...?

A midnight-trip to Kinko's for passport photos was really the only casualty of our quick planning (we all looked pretty scary! Haha!) and, thanks to being willing to leave last-second and on Christmas Eve, we were able to take a trip of a lifetime that we surely couldn't have taken otherwise.

Strike Two against tourist season. :)

My dad even made it on the news to share this awesome travel strategy! There was a news crew at the airport and my brother Dave, ever the extravert :), shouted over to them: "Hey! Can we get an interview?!" And they actually came over! Turned their lights on us and asked my dad why were we traveling on Christmas Eve...?

When we came home two weeks later, our neighbors and friends were all excited to tell us they'd seen us on the news with his two brief words of wisdom:

"CHEAP. AIRFARE."

Moral of the story: You can go more places if you go at a weird time. And you can even get on TV. :)

Vacationing in Summer. Part One.

I should have named this series: "Vacationing any time other than Summer." Because that's what I mean to promote.

But not too vigorously, mind you, because I'm counting on the world to keep following each other on vacation the same three or four months of the year. So we can have good vacations. :) Yessss!!!

My testimony of off-season travel began in Nauvoo, Illinois.

It's an historical site for our church—a place where Mormons built a beautiful city from swampland before they were forced out to trek to the Salt Lake Valley. Like many members of the church, we have several ancestors who had lived there. And one of the restored homes open for tours belonged to my 3rd-great-grandfather! He built it himself and lived there with his family. When he left for Salt Lake he gave the home to Joseph Smith's mother. It's billed as Lucy Mack Smith's house, with secondary billing to my gramps Joseph Bates Noble. Very cool.

My parents had always wanted to go, and it worked out for us to take a trip in . . . December.

Illinois.
In December.

We were all a little skeered. :)

Can I just say.... It was AWESOME!!! We were in Nauvoo for four days, and all but one afternoon when another family came through for just a few hours, we were the only ones there. Sure we were cold! Who cares?! We were the only ones there! (As in, really, the only ones.) It was awesome. We'd go up to the brickyard to make bricks, or the masonry shop, or a restored home, or wherever, and the senior missionary couple would just light up, so excited to have people come by! They'd put down their cards (how many people get to see missionaries playing cards? ;)) and swarm us, giving us the best tour ever. We became friends with everyone there. We lingered. Pictures and journals were pulled out for us to look at. By the end of our stay, the missionaries even organized a piano recital for everyone's entertainment. It was the most charming thing of all time, strolling around this restored town (that was fabulously decorated for Christmas, no less—1800's style!) with no one there but ourselves and a bunch of cute, lonely, cold senior missionaries who loved us.

We loved the cafe we kept frequenting, too, and became friends with plenty of non-Mormon Nauvoo residents, which was fabulous! What a wonderful experience to truly experience this quaint, charming place—not at all as a tourist attraction, but a real town with real people.

We went to several other church history sites—Liberty Jail, Adam-Ondi-Ahman, the Far West temple site, Independence, Carthage Jail—and in each place, we were alone. I especially loved being able to talk so much with people at other churches—splinter groups that believed in, say, The Book of Mormon, but not in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We had a particularly wonderful experience at the temple for the formerly-known Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (now The Community of Christ), and became fast friends with the woman showing us their building and sharing her testimony.

Contrast that with the stories I remember hearing from friends the following Summer: tales of waiting in two-hour lines, of picking and choosing which places you can hit on account of the crowds, of a line being ushered quickly through a building.... They all had a good time! But...we were the only ones there!

Was it worth the extra pairs of gloves to see a totally empty Nauvoo...? OH my goodness, YES.

It was an experience we'll never forget. Authentic. Not at all contrived. And complete with new friends, from LDS missionaries, to normal ol' residents, to volunteers from other religions.

My testimony of non-Summer travel was born! BIG time.

Summer's Over! Woo hoo!!

I went back to Sea World, the Zoo, and the Wild Animal Park this week after a bit of a hiatus and thought...ahhhhh.... Summer's over!

I hate Summer. I've always hated Summer. I remember as a kid—in my couple of years before year-round schooling—that while the end of the school year was pretty exciting, within a week or so I was so over Summer. By the time I got back to school, it was as if Summer had lasted four years. (And, when you think about the percentage three months is in a 6-year-old's memory, that makes some sense!)

Then year-round began, and my love-affair with the other nine months of the year hit full-swing. One-month vacations instead of three? Awesome. Three-month school periods instead of nine? Double-awesome. Family vacations in . . . Winter? Awesome times infinity!!!

Because, you see.... I hate Summer.

And here's why:

1. Too hot. (Not so much in San Diego, but still. We had a week or two when being outside all day wasn't pleasant. And that's just annoying.) (Oh, but then we'd go to my parents' and, AHHH! 95 degrees! 100 degrees! 90 degrees! No thank you. Denver.... 93 degrees! Provo.... 100 degrees!! Summer most of my life has been way too hot.)

2. Too dead. Denver was the one exception to this—it's dead the rest of the year! Haha! Seriously, it is. And then Summer comes around and everything is green and you think, ahhhh.... Why can't it be Summer all year? This was a huge paradigm shift for me: to look forward to Summer. (It was still too hot, though. :)) But California gets gorgeous through Fall and Winter—wildflowers galore—and within three days of Summer weather it's all a mass of death. Very sad.

3. TOO MANY PEOPLE. Anywhere you want to go, there are too many people! We refuse to partake. What's better crowded than uncrowded? Nothing.

So let's get this straight. Everyone else waits for Summer to do things. So they can go somewhere crowded. And bake.

Very smart, people.

We went back to some of our favorite spots this week, found quick and easy parking, walked around in the 68-degree breeze and sunshine, saw nearly no one, took a refreshing breath and thought...ahhhhhhh.... It's back! Life!

I'm starting to get majorly depressed about Seth starting school next year—despite how much I know he'll love it—for two major reasons:

1. (another bullet list :)) Full-day kindergarten! Curse working parents for the demise of half-day! I have to lose Seth for 30+ hours a week?! You kidding me? That's cruel.

2. The Traditional Calendar!!!

I don't know who to blame for that one. But I'm having a heck of a time finding a year-round school. Even the "year-round" calendars still give you two months of your vacation in the Summer, and that is not ok with us. Not ok at all.

So I guess the school and the state and the country and the universe are just going to have to be ok with the fact that we will dapple into truancy. Hahaha! Really, though. We will. Because we love our family time! When Matt is post-call with a whole weekday free, we do something as a family. And we'll be darned if we start to only do those things during . . . Summer. [Ewwwwww!!!] Or weekends! [More ewwwwww!!]

Will we ever, ever, ever go to Disneyland in the Summer? Ha! No way. (You've got to be INSANE to go to Disneyland in the Summer. Those of you who have only been in Summer: do you have any idea what you're missing? It's a completely different place on those 10-6 days. Totally fabulous. Pain-free.)

Will we ever, ever, ever take a family vacation in the Summer? Double-no!! (Nothing ruins a great place like tourists! We'll even take bad weather to not go with tourists! A post on this to follow.... :))

Will we be able to resist bringing Seth home for perfectly gorgeous Winter days at uncrowded beaches and empty tourist sites, or for two-week vacations to destinations no one else is destining...? No times infinity!!

If truancy is a crime, lock us up now! (Or just get the independent study contracts ready. :))

Don't take it too hard. We like you, school. We just like being together so much more!

And we hate Summer.

There's No Hope

I want to like fish sooooo bad. It looks absolutely delectable. The meat is such a great texture, you can flavor it all different ways, it's really good for you...!

Unfortunately, it also tastes like . . . fish! Like the way a pier smells. Like some kind of chemical is putrefying on your plate!

After a successful acclimation to spicy food (thank you, Chris, my "Spice Coach" ;)), I was determined to overcome my sensitivity to that "fishy" flavor. For years Matt was on the hunt for fish that was mild enough for me to enjoy. He'd order fish every chance he got and carefully evaluate.... Then it was either, "Nope, Auburn, this is kind of fishy." Or, if I were lucky, it was, "oh yeah, I'm sure this isn't fishy at all! You can try this one!"

So I'd try it.

Fishy. Every time.

Makes me want to puke.

Mahi mahi. Fishy. Mahi mahi encrusted with some kind of divine macadamia nut mixture. Fishy. The perfect salmon. Fishy. Halibut. Fishy. $40 fish entree. Fishy! I mean, really people. How can you stand it? Do you lick piers, too?

Eventually, Matt gave up. He'd try something and say, "you know, I could swear this doesn't have any fishiness! But you better not try it.... Sorry." :)

The nail in the coffin happened a couple years ago when Brian and Janelle drove to Denver and offered us some of their road snacks. I went for the beef jerky. Mmmm!! Beef jerkkk.... Wha...?

Tastes like FISH!!!

I started to complain. Does anyone else taste this? The beef jerky is fishy! No one believed me—thought I was crazy. I tried another bite. Ugh. Fish fish fish.

At which point, Janelle, incredulous, with a bit of "I'm in the twilight zone" in her voice, said: "Ummmm.... The bag of beef jerky was sitting next to a bottle of omega-3 supplements. Those have, uh.... Fish oil...." Hadn't come in contact—just supplements in a bottle sitting in a bag next to a sealed package of beef jerky. Could it be possible?

All these years I had wondered if the fishiness were just in my head, and now it all clicked. Why would my psyche randomly decide that beef jerky should taste like fish oil...? I started to remember all those times I had eaten something random at a restaurant and had to throw it away because it was too fishy—french fries, carrot cake?, vegetables.

My mind flashed to that chemical-paper genetics experiment in high school biology. Mr. Jones came in with a tube of little strips of paper, gleeful. "Golding! I can't wait for you to taste this! Muwahahahahaha!!!!" Everyone gets a paper to taste. For the vast majority, the paper will taste horribly bitter. But if you happen to have two recessive genes, you'll taste nothing. We had 25 people in the class. I braced for the taste! My classmates started to moan and spit and gag and complain. I tasted . . . nothing. Out of all 25 in the class, I was the only one who could taste nothing. I chewed on that piece of paper for a while just reveling in the awesomeness that is genetics (and in the chagrin of my teacher who had been so excited to torture me :)). So cool! Genes can make you not taste a nasty chemical on a piece of paper!

So now I'm tasting fish on beef jerky and realizing.... I've got some kind of freak genetic thing that makes me taste a chemical in fish other people don't taste!

My dream died.

I also felt vindicated. :)

But the dream died....

And I'll never be able to eat fish. :-(  It's really, really, really sad.

A few weeks ago, Matt bought some Smart Balance eggs. He was so excited about them, too. They'll taste better! They're good for you! Seth eats so many eggs, and now he'll get more Omega-3s!

I made myself an egg-on-bagel sandwich and.... You guessed it!

Fish.

Are you kidding me! Eggs that taste like fish? Who could have seen that coming?! (Disgusting. I had to throw it away after a few bites because I just couldn't take it anymore.)

I don't know what they're feeding those chickens to get Omega-3s in those eggs, but the litmus test—me!—says fish is involved somewhere! I googled it to see if I were crazy. Sure enough, there were but a few souls out there asking the question: "why do my smart balance eggs taste like fish?" The world rose in revolt against them to say, wow, you're insane. But I think they're on to something...!

R.I.P. craving for fish. It's never gonna happen.

To find out or not to find out....

I just read on someone's blog (someone I don't know :)) about the really fun way they found out about the sex of their baby. They said at the last-minute, they asked the tech to write down the gender and seal it in an envelope—and right away they took the envelope to a baker and asked him to bake a cake with pink or blue frosting. They invited their families over for dinner and (with much fanfare, I'm sure) the soon-to-be-Mom got to cut into . . .

Is that fun or is that fun? If I felt like finding out along with a bunch of people, I'd wish we'd thought up this idea ourselves! Maybe at home with our own kids someday.... (How much would kids love that?!) Too cute.

Another goodie!

Seth's prayer last night:

Heavenly Father

Thank You for our things ("our hings")

I would really appreciate it ("hur-preesh-iate it") if You would come to our house to visit

Really soon

And

I'm showing You I keep my deals

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I love that Seth doesn't say the same things all the time. :) And that He frequently tells God "I'd really hurpreeshiate it if . . . ." :-D You know, things like coming over for a visit. He's not a mimicker, that's for sure. Haha! (Or do I sometimes pray like that? Heavenly Father, we'd really appreciate it if Seth could get some help with his scratching so he doesn't die soon. But if he does die soon, help him be happy to live with Thee again. :))

(Showing he can keep his deals is a conversation I'd had with him the other night about why it would be a good idea to go to sleep after he had made a deal with dad for extra Legos time. ;))

The best prayer of the year was in Church a few months ago. Seth's prayers have been impressively context-specific. For probably a full year, every time he prayed at home he would start with: "Heavenly Father, please help us to have a baay-bee. Thank you for...." So when he'd volunteer in nursery at church to say the prayer for the snack, I'd brace myself for a funny situation (I worked in nursery with some other adults). But, dozens of times, he prayed only for things relevant to the nursery class, never for help having a baby. Whew!

Then he graduates to the big-kid "Primary" and I heard him pray in class a few times. It was always context-specific still—so when it was his turn to pray up at the microphone on behalf of all the kids (and bunches of teachers!) in Primary, and I was not telling anyone I was pregnant, I trusted everything would be fine.

First thing out of his mouth! In the microphone! Completely discernable!:

Heavenly Father

Thank you for our baay-bee

Please help our baby to grow

Ohhhh boy! Hahaha!

Then he goes on and on with the sweetest prayer ever:

Thank you for our moms

Thank you for our dads

Thank you for all the pretty flowers

and Thank you for the beautiful sky ("kighhh...")

Thank you for our hings

Thank you we can all be friends

Thank you that we can do hings

Thank you we can have our moms and dads

He had a few more, I just can't remember now. But do you think the cuteness and lengthiness made anyone forget that first part? Haha!

As soon as he says Amen, the chorister sitting behind me goes: "Aw! That was the sweetest prayer EVER!" And the pianist blurts out: "Cat's out of the bag! I hope you were ready!" And all the teachers and everyone else just sit there grinning at me with the funniest looks. It was hilarious. Not a bad way to tell everyone, though.... :)

Aha!

I found out the other day that there's a real reason I didn't feel the baby move until—honestly—the same day that Matt could feel her, too! (Almost 20 weeks!) Anterior placenta! (One of Matt's theories, actually.) The placenta is in the front rather than the back, and therefore acting as some kind of barricade. I'm also larger on the right side than the left! Hahaha! Which might be explained solely by the fact that she's breech and most of her body is over there. But maybe that's where the placenta is, too. I'm curious how long I'll look down and see my belly button off-center. Hehe. (No one else notices I'm lopsided, but I've been noticing since I started showing.)

I decided to dress all comfortably last week (21 1/2 weeks) and it happened to be a dress that showed off my belly, and Matt snapped some impromptu pictures. The evolution of the shot kind of amused me. :)

Yeah, um. I'm pretty sure we didn't get anything serious. I'm pretty sure that's impossible when Matt or I is taking pictures of the other.

If those were a little painful, here's something gorgeous to feast your eyes upon:

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Seth has some awesome prayers sometimes. One of his best ever was last night—after he was asleep we sat in our bedroom and laughed until it hurt!

Background: Seth scratches. Which turns mildly irritated skin into full-blown eczema. Which he scratches. Then it turns into gaping wounds. Which he scratches. Sometimes he holds off long enough to get some good scabs that are almost—almost!—healed, and we hold our breath that maybe he'll have normal ankles and knees for the first time in months. But he inevitably gets bored sometime and decides to scratch off the scabs. Sometimes he's indignant about it ("But how can it hurt me?! It feels good! Don't tell me not to scratch!"), and sometimes he's a little depressed that he hasn't mastered the self-control yet, and sometimes he's all pumped up to never scratch again. And how about wrapping him up in band-aids and wraps...? Forget about it. That just makes the area even more intriguing. We joke about putting casts on him. Haha!

So.... Last night....

First off, super cute, he catalogues for God how much we love Him. "We love you SOOOOO much. We just LOVE you. We are trying to love you as much as you love us, but you love us A LOT. I love you eighty-eighty-NINE!" :)

Then, "Thank you for our baby. Please help our baby to grow."

Then, the best part!

"Please help me to stop scratching. But if I DO scratch...and I die soon...please help me be happy to live with you again...."

HAHAHA!

HAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Matt crawled into bed laughing as much at me as at Seth, insisting "he is SO your son." That's right!

Then and Now

It's funny to be pregnant again. It just feels like a once-in-a-lifetime experience, you know? And yet, here I am, 4.5 years later, in the middle of it all over again. In some ways I feel like it's a new experience—the memory of Seth's pregnancy having (finally! :)) faded somewhat—except that there's always this dawning recognition that, noooo, this is all oddly familiar.... Feeling a contraction again for the first time. Wow. Wow. It's all just strange.

So here's my compare-and-contrast!

Morning Sickness: About the same! General crumminess with most food feeling disgusting, but no actual puking. This pregnancy has had more lost breath and light-headedness.

PVCs: When I was pregnant with Seth, a heart condition I'd always had was hugely exacerbated. I get "skipped" beats—premature ventricular contractions. They used to happen a couple times a year and I didn't know what they were. (Elizabeth once famously noted: "Did you just have an aneurysm?!" ;)) When I was over halfway through my pregnancy with Seth, I out-of-the-blue started getting strong ones every third beat. (Instead of twice a year!) Got an EKG, found out they were benign PVCs, then dealt with the feeling of being super-nervous in the middle of a grueling physical challenge for the rest of the pregnancy (they're hugely unsettling). With this pregnancy, I don't think I even knew I was pregnant yet and the PVCs had already sped up. Haven't stopped.... Isn't it interesting?

Eyesight: Another interesting thing! My vision plummeted with Seth, and again with this one. I'm assuming it will go back to the status quo after this baby is born, like it did with Seth. We'll see!

Weight gain: I'm gaining at exactly the same rate, always weighing the same as before. To the pound! It's kind of amazing. I'm curious how long that will last.

Food cravings: With Seth I could only eat peaches and cottage cheese, whole milk, or orange juice for most of the first trimester. With this baby I've been able to eat most anything. My go-to food this time has been eggs! I have some form of egg on bread (often with cheese) just about every day. The protein is great....

My longterm craving with Seth was Oreos. No particular cravings this time around. Oh! And when I had felt the most morning-sick this time, I kept wanting Spicy Jack Quesadillas from Del Taco. I hadn't had many of those since . . . I had been morning sick with Seth! I had completely forgotten it had been my stomach-settler the first time around until Matt reminded me. Well! Nausea knows what it wants and doesn't change it's mind, I guess! Kind of funny.

Showing: I think I'm about two weeks ahead of Seth's pregnancy this time, maybe one. It seems like I'm showing at about the same rate. Everyone is still complaining about me being disappointingly small.... Sorry!

Waddling: Despite having a fairly small tummy so far, I've been waddling for weeks already! I don't think that happened with Seth until well into the third trimester. I guess my hips are already disintegrating! It's terrible! What am I going to do when I do have a major belly? Will I even be able to move? Stay tuned to find out.... [Dum-dum-DUM!]

Contractions!!: Cue more scary music!! The contractions story with Seth:

20 weeks—Felt my very first contractions. Thought it was interesting and kind of fun. It made me feel actually pregnant.

24 weeks—Contractions were coming lots of times a day. Started to be less fun....

28 weeks—Contractions every 10 minutes. Really annoying.

31 weeks—Appeared to be dilating. Admitted to the hospital. Contractions every 3 minutes. Sent home the next morning on anti-contraction drugs and ordered to bedrest for a few weeks. Oh, and did I mention the baby (Seth, that is :)) was fully engaged? Fun.

32 weeks... 33... 34...—Baby still fully engaged, contractions still every few minutes.

35 weeks—Baby still fully engaged, contractions every few minutes. I wanted to die.

36 weeks—Doctors sooo pleased I haven't had baby yet. Still fully engaged! Contractions every few minutes! I was starting to get pretty tired....

37 weeks—Nurses start finding humor in my sad, sad situation. "Hahaha! Here we were hoping to get you to 34 weeks, and now look, I bet you go overdue! Isn't that hilarious? Hahaha!" Oh, the thought! I could have died at those words!

38 weeks—Fully engaged, contractions every few minutes!!!! AAAHHHH!!

39 weeks—Thankfully, I never got to 39 weeks. Hallelujah! Oh, and did I mention the real labor only lasted four hours (first baby!), and that half of that was a deliberate slow-down...?

(When doctors ask how long my first labor was, they gasp at the four hours part. What they don't know is that I wanted to answer: "Two months. And four hours." Hehe.)

So for years now I've been fascinated to know: was it all a fluke? Would a second pregnancy go the same way? Or be even more dramatic? Or maybe a second pregnancy would be all normal...? Will a second labor be even faster, like, having the baby in the car kind of fast? Or what if a second labor is 12 hours or something? That would just be weird!

The answers so far:

12 weeks—CONTRACTIONS!!! [Dum-dum-DUMMMM!!!!!!] I. Couldn't. Believe it. Twelve weeks! Eight weeks earlier than with Seth. It was strange to feel that ol' familiar feeling over such a tiny, tiny spot instead of my entire abdomen, but there was no denying the loss of breath, the surge of "ugh", the general strangeness of the whole thing.

13 weeks—Yep. Definitely contractions. Definitely coming several times a day. Sometimes several times an hour! Sometimes back-to-back for 20 or 30 minutes!

And here I am at 21 weeks, when I had first felt the occasional contraction with Seth, and getting them all the time. Some of them are so strong they totally take my breath away. So how will the rest of this story play out...? I'm morbidly curious. I also don't want to know. I also can't help but find out! Stay tuned.

Tiredness: I was bone tired with Seth. But I'm pretty sure I'm even more tired now. With Seth I couldn't stay awake the whole first trimester and then I bounced back. With this one, I was a little more functional the first trimester, but it keeps getting worse instead of getting any better. I'm exhausted.

Excitement level!: Everything felt more intense with Seth. The joy and longing for that baby were overwhelming, but so was the cloud over our heads that had formed through lots of experience of my body being terrible at this. This time everything feels more . . . calm . . . . I forget sometimes that I'm even pregnant. When I really think about it, I feel all the joy we had with Seth—but then it's more mellow somehow. More content. And even though this baby was just as hard (in many ways, much, much harder) to come by than Seth was, the reality that, "hey, Seth worked!" has really done wonders to help us feel like the other shoe is not about to drop. We're feeling so content with this little girl coming.... It just feels right.

Movement: Watched Seth bouncing around like crazy on ultrasound before he even had arms or had lost his tail. I could feel Seth rolling around at only 15 weeks! This baby? She looked fairly active in early ultrasounds, but I didn't feel her until, no joke...the same day that Matt could feel her. Haha! Is that crazy? Almost 20 weeks. And at the ultrasound last week (she may have been sleeping...?), she hardly moved at all. Very cooperative for the ultrasound tech. Versus Seth who had been swimming like a frog too quickly to get the right pictures! I can't wait to see how their temperaments compare.

Reason #842

...that we adore San Diego.

I just saw this wickedly SCARY national weather map. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

Note the 66 in the bottom left-hand corner. Ahhhhhhhhhhh....

List Filler-Out-er. That's me!

I was actually a little disappointed when our Census form asked for so little information and I just needed to fill out something else! So here's another list someone sent me! [This has been unfinished and unpublished a couple months now. Oops!]

1. Name three types of people who should qualify for forced labor camps:

—People who defend the rights of richer people to have better public schools. ("Kids in the slums don't care about education anyway...." AARRRGGGHHHH!!! Get thee to Siberia!)

—That's all.

2. What was the last thing you ate?
PB&J. Seriously. :) [At the time of publication: Apples 'N Cinnamon Oatmeal. Am I still a juvenile, or what?]

3. What’s a goal you have?
Always make family first! Deliberately and thoughtfully....

4. What do you think of entertainment awards shows?
For some reason I get a HUGE kick out of the Oscars. When I was a kid I LIVED for the Grammys, but now that it's not an 80's-fest I've lost interest. :)

5. How do you want to die?
In some way and time that makes sense!

6. What is your favorite vacation/get-away spot? Where will you be traveling next?
Oh man! Favorite? Hmmm . . . . London feels like home-away-from-home. If I could go anywhere right now, though, I'd probably pick Korea again. Our next travel spot is very exotic: Wisconsin! Yeppers. You heard me right. :)

[update: home from WI! It was a good trip! :)]

7. How do you pronounce “gyro?”
YEAR-oh.

8. What have you found entertaining lately?
Seth. I mean, he's always been entertaining, but he just seems to keep getting more hilarious.

9. Do you follow any blogs of nondescript people who you don't know? Why do you follow those blogs?
I "follow" some blogs of old acquaintances. It creeps me out, though, to put them in my regular Google Reader list with people I'm actually in touch with—so I have a SECOND Google Reader account that I only check every now and then. I'm curious what they're up to since, you know, I used to know them and stuff. But I just feel insane if I get a feed too frequently of their goings-on!

10. What would you use a time machine for?
Check up on our future, just to see a few things.... :)

11. What is your favorite restaurant?
Just discovered Cafe Chloe in downtown San Diego. AWESOME French food!

12. What actors should be barred from acting?
Drew Barrymore! Keanu Reeves! Jodi Foster! And any other "actor" out there who delivers every line from every "new character" the exact same way.

13. What’s the last book you read?
I'm reading Notes from Underground again, by Dostoevsky, and My Name is Asher Lev again, by Chaim Potok. Love 'em both. (It's almost ludicrous to say I love them in the same sentence, though. I mean, Dostoevsky is way better than Potok, no matter how much I love Asher Lev.)

[Postscript: Since starting this list, I've gotten busy and lost track of both books with no pick-them-back-up time in sight. Sigh.]

14. What’s the last movie you enjoyed?
Sherlock Holmes. I'm convinced I'd love anything Robert Downey, Jr. does. Brilliant.

15. Reveal something that really bothers you.
See #1. How is the country not outraged that our public schools are locally funded? (Ok, I know why—it's because richer people think they're entitled.) It's the hugest, awfulest, most despicable injustice in our society. UN—conscionable.

16. What will it say on your gravestone?
"She transformed public schools." :) (Haha! I'd love to...!)

17. Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first three songs that come up, then explain yourself:

Yellow Lights Mean Slow Down Not Speed Up (Logh)

I have never heard this song in my life! It's kind of funny, though, because yellow lights are one of the things I have a "Rule of Thumb" about. It goes like this: if you're stopped, and the light is still yellow, you chose poorly. (Because, you see, yellow doesn't actually mean "slow down"!)

Feeling Yourself Disintegrate (Flaming Lips)

Another song I've never heard! This is the funny thing about iPods. :) I have dreams about my mouth disintegrating. And this is by the Flaming Lips...? Coincidence?

XIV. Die Kreuze (Schoenberg)

I'm scared.
What is this soprano doing?! Hahaha! Ah, Schoenberg....

(I can't hear Schoenberg without feeling transported back to the days of me and Matt and Chris hanging out together. :))

18. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?
My biggest regret in life, no doubt, was disastrously assuming I'd just love spending four years at the college I picked. That was an error in judgment of epic proportions. A close #2 is not knowing the song Feeling Yourself Disintegrate by the Flaming Lips earlier. I'm enjoying it!

19. What kind of toppings do you generally request for your pizza?
Depends on the crust! Stadium Pizza: gotta have plain pineapple. Deep Dish Pizza Hut or something: pepperoni and olives must be involved. CPK: goat cheese and peppers, or the Thai pizza. I also love multi-cheese pizza when ricotta is involved. Mmmm!

20. Who/what would you love to have complete control over?
The Match.

21. What does your ideal Saturday consist of?
My ideal Saturday is one when Matt is home (rare), and when Sunday is more than a day away (shockingly rarer ;)). I have so much to do on Sundays that Saturday gets kind of depressing....

22. What is one skill you lack completely but wish you could master with the snap of your fingers?

Whistling! Or winking. I'm not sure which I'd enjoy more, but it's so sad to me that I'm deficient in both!

23. What's something you live in constant fear of?

Being compelled to visit Provo again. Hehe. That, or birds pooping on my head. Not a constant fear, but I can't handle birds flying over my head!

24. What was the first album you listened to non-stop, over and over again?
Ah, my cassette player.... Hangin' Tough got lots of playtime. When I think about playing something over and over, though, I'm back in my freshman-year dorm room with Hillary! We'd loop Dave Matthews, or The Scarlet Pimpernel soundtrack, lots of goodies. On repeat. For hours. (Those albums are still soooo nostalgic for me! I can smell it. I can feel the air.)

25. Have you ever seen a live, wild rat? How about a dead one?
Never a live one, I don't think...? Maybe. I don't think it would have bothered me, so I wouldn't necessarily remember. But there was a dead rat on the church patio just before church yesterday! I was there early enough to have seen it but (luckily) I had used a different door.

26. What thing have you most aggressively promoted?
Reason!

27. Is there a band or musical trend you would love to see erased completely?
Nickelback.

All country music. :)

The nasally musical-theatre voice. It emerged in the late-90s. No end in sight. (I'm hopeful that Wicked will turn the tide. Galinda's got it, but it's a farce. And Elphaba is a chest-belter, no nose. Go Elphaba! Eradicate nasally heroines!)

28. If you had to describe yourself using 3 words, what would they be?
Superlatively passionate-est. ;-) Reasonable.

29. Where is the last place that you'd see yourself living?
North Korea. Inexplicably, Matt has aspirations...! :-|

But I'd be almost as loathe to live in the desert. ;)

Or in snow again (ten years—ten!–was long enough!). I haaaattttte (that was "hate" drawn out :)) living in snow. Snow is meant to be visited. Also, not tromped on or driven in, because then it's horrifyingly messy and ugly. I'll take a drive to the mountains every now and then for some ski action, enjoy the untouched gorgeousness, and go back to 65-75 degrees, clean cars and flowers, please.

30. What was the last video you enjoyed on the internet?

Does streaming count? House Hunters International. Ahhhh....

31. What is your favorite smoothie combination?
Coconut must be involved.

32. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to your car?
The first car I had—Ralph—had been spray-painted. ;)

33. What album have you been listening to most?
The Killers playlist.

Awesome recording of Tosca.

I'm very well-rounded, as you can see. Haha!

34. What clues you into a person's idiocy?
Closed-mindedness. Or fear of "different."

35. What is your favorite store to wander through?

Probably Cost Plus World Market.

The Final Three!

[Warning: this post contains words like "uterus." Just thought you might like to know. :)]

#3 – SUNBURN!!!

I'm not talking your ordinary sunburn. I'm talking the kind where you—you who just never happens to cry for pain, not ever—almost burst into tears when your dad tries gently, so so gently, to get a little bit of aloe on your back. My dad is so sweet. Whenever I (or any of my non-Jordan brothers who are as pasty white as I am :)) got a terrible sunburn, he insisted on being the only one to put aloe on since he's the only one who knows first-hand just how excruciating it is. "People think they know sunburns. They don't! But I know what you're going through!!" I felt the love. :) (Also, the pain.... ;-))

After doing this to myself several times, I'm on a lifelong quest to never let it happen again. My name is Auburn, and I accidentally get fried. I've been defried for ____ years and ____ months.

#2!—HSG :-|

Ugh. Ack. UGHHHH.... Blukja;gkjakjas;gjkjasfasdjhfhjbaw.... No one told me it might feel exactly like labor pain. "Prepare for some minor cramping from dye being inserted in your uterus." I didn't even worry about it. Cramping I can deal with. (And it was intense, and it did last the whole day, but big deal. Just cramps.) But the excruciating PAIN during the procedure was totally indescribable. I guess a lot of people don't have it very bad at all (luck of the draw—what your cervix happens to be doing on the day you get the procedure). But I still can't believe that in all that literature they gave me, no one filled me in that some women describe it as the worst pain they've ever felt. "Take some ibuprofen for possible cramping." Bah! That's all you have to say? Who cares about the darned cramping? There's a stinking clamp and inflated balloon in your cervix! [Shudder.] Horrible. I can't even describe how horrible.

#1 – Labor.

The one time I've shed tears for pain. Took me to a whole other place....

I have to admit, I always expected something would end up beating labor out for the top spot! With Seth's violent labor behind me now, here's to hoping nothing ever does. ;-)

What's been your most painful experience? Let's torture each other with awful stories!!! ;-)

Tick-tock

We're at 17 weeks today! And I still don't really feel the baby, which makes me quite possibly the first woman ever to feel her second baby weeks later than she had felt the first. (I could feel Seth rolling around—no "butterfly wings" with this kid!—at 15 weeks. That's pretty early for a first pregnancy!) This baby has been pretty squirmy for all the ultrasounds, but she's not quite as active as Seth. And here we are two whole weeks later than I had felt 4-inch-Seth tumbling around like a madman and I'm still not sure I'm feeling her. Hard to tell what's guts and what's baby when your guts are in totally new places.... Haha! Pregnancy is so incredibly strange....

Also, we haven't had an ultrasound in Three. Whole. Weeks. A full-on drought! We feel lost without them. (We keep joking about making up symptoms for my appointment this week so we can get another one. Ha! We'll see.... ;))