Clothing.

Courtesy of Expectant Motherhood.

"The most important consideration in regard to the expectant mother's wardrobe is that it should be attractive."

Ok, stop right there! This is already awesome!

"This may sound like a superficial observation but it is profoundly true. Yes, more important than knowing the dangers of circular garters and high heels is the knowledge that you are well-groomed, because only then (if you are like most women) will you really enjoy entertaining your friends and meeting your husband's friends, and in turn visiting their homes. Pregnancy is no time to be a recluse. The more you are in the company of others, the better off you are; indeed, I have long chronicled the impression that patients who start in labor while playing bridge invariably [invariably! Wow!] have an easy time [emphasis added ;)]. This is simply another way of saying that the woman who cultivates a certain oblivion to the fact that she is pregnant (although obeying the ordinary rules of diet and hygiene) does much better than her introspective sister."

It gets better! :)

"As the appearance of many expectant mothers attests, it is possible to look as attractive at this time as at any other. To be sure, the abdominal rotundity is a handicap [hahahahahaha!!!] but, for some reason, during the middle months of pregnancy women develop a special radiance which is most becoming and [wait for it!] tends to offset this."

HAHAHAHA!!!

HAAAAAHH!! [*wipe eyes*] Ok, continuing.... :)

"Moreover, maternity dresses are so ingeniously contrived these days that they resemble an optical illusion in their ability to beguile the eye in regard to your real contour—which, incidentally, is always more noticeable to you than to anyone else. Patterns for such garments, as well as the ready-made dresses themselves, are readily and inexpensively obtained at any department store and it is a good idea to exercise your ingenuity on this problem."

Love it. Am I the only one laughing my face off right now...? :)