Beard Control for Babies

This story is a year old, but it's still a goodie. :)

When we went to Salt Lake for Bri and Janelle's wedding last December, we got to stay with our fabulous friends Kristin and John. I showed up first, since Matt's schedule was unrelenting.

Seth woke up early in the morning (he was 2 1/2 at the time...) and I thought, oh good, he'll be so tired that he'll sleep on the plane! (I think we had gotten him up at 5:00 or 5:30 for the first flight out. And—another story—we slept through our alarm and rushed to the airport in pajamas! Ack!).

Of course, he didn't sleep on the plane. ...Should have known, Auburn. Should have known. (How can a curious mind sleep when there are so many interesting things going on?)

By the time we got to Salt Lake and were picked up and taken to the hotel where Matt's family was staying, it was still morning and Seth was already clearly insane. At breakfast, he ended up wandering around the restaurant in circles all perplexed, arms outstretched, numbly chanting: "What am I looking for? What am I looking for?" Haha!

When I stole away for a nap later, he just wanted to play with Grandma and Grandpa.

When we braved the snow and ice all day, he stayed awake.

When we went to Matt's grandparents' house later that night for dinner with everyone, he ran around playing with cousins.

So then we go to Kristin's house.... It's late—very late—and he's a complete disaster. His body is giving out on him, his eyes look dreadful.... The kid is beyond exhausted.... I get him ready for bed right away and think, ah yes, he'll go to sleep no problem.

Well, after a little bit of him NOT going to sleep (and finding their art pastels! AAAHHHH!!), all was finally silent, and I thought, yes! And Kristin and I sat only a few feet away from the room to chat for the night. Matt was scheduled to come in but weather delays everywhere but San Diego were keeping him grounded in San Diego (I kept getting text messages from him—why would anyone leave here?! What am I doing?! Hehe). So we're waiting to get the word that someone can finally go pick him up in the middle of the night.

I can't remember what alerted me to the fact that Seth had actually been awake the whole time. I think he actually knocked on the door or something. Kristin and I shared a look of doom, and I went to see if he really could possibly be awake....

And at 1:30 in the morning, twenty hours after Seth had been awakened four hours too early with ne'er a wink of catch-up sleep, this is what we see....

Hahaha!

Never, ever, ever put your child to bed in the same room as your luggage.

My wallet was empty. My make-up had been explored. And, the horrifying part.... He had found all my drugs. The white things you see all over the floor are the contents of a Costco-sized bottle of Claritin (about 300 pills).

(Hopefully you can see these fine. I'm not sure why the videos get darker once they're on the blog....)

I peppered Seth with questions to try to figure if he actually ate any, and I was pretty satisfied that he hadn't....

Until I saw something like this...! [Dum-dum-dumdum!]

Little holes all punched out.... Haha! Beard Control pills. (I've been taking them for forever—since I was first diagnosed with PCOS. My primary motivation in taking them is to not grow a beard. Haha! Very important. So, yes.... Beard Control pills.) The idea of him finding this fascinating punch-hole contraption and working his way through it really amused me. But it also had doom written all over it since I knew exactly how many pills there had been. After scouring every nook and cranny for loose pills, we realized with certainty that he had eaten several. I think it was seven or nine. Seven beard control pills for a 2-year-old! Which, even more alarming, also meant countless claritin pills. Who could tell how many? Could have been fifty or a hundred for all we knew...!

Matt was on a plane by then, about to land, and I called every few seconds until I finally got a hold of him. Pictures of hospital beds were running through my head.... During a wedding! On a trip we only had a few hours for! Luckily, Matt is a wealth of information—saving us an ER visit. Also luckily, beard control and claritin in mass quantities aren't the worst thing ever to a 2-year-old.... Dodged that bullet. (I was glad he hadn't found a way into some of the other drugs! Tylenol?! I can't breathe just thinking about it. Someone was looking out for us....)

By far my favorite thing was that he used my eyeliner. Appropriately. Hahaha!! When I opened the door, he was in the process of putting more on—around and around and around his eyes, trying to get it in just the right place.

He had also put lip gloss on his lips. :) I love trying to imagine the things going on his mind as he discovered one thing after another in my bag.

My other favorite thing was how wired he was for the wedding—still sleep-deprived, and also high on an obscene amount of claritin. (Not to mention whatever a bunch of estrogen might do to a little guy.... Hehe.)

This picture, I think, says it all:

Haha! Yes, that's every other cousin sitting for the picture. Every one. Haha! (Where did this last year go? Look at him!)

Happy Anniversary to Brian and Janelle!!

Part Two

Pain: what I almost inflicted on a 6-year-old boy. Grrr.... Now I know what my mom means about the "Mother Bear" in you flaring up.

But, the best part of this story is not what I did (or wanted to do...), but what Seth did!

So we were at a park. I was sitting on a bench watching Seth play on the play structure a little ways off—he had made some new friends and they were having a great time. Suddenly I see some punk 6-year-old (or so...) sitting at the top of the twisty slide, pushing a littler kid down. I'm not sure if he thought her terror was funny, or if he just didn't notice the terror and thought going down a slide is surely fun...? I also thought it was probably his sister.... 

At any rate, when Seth made his way over, the kid hauls off and shoves him down the slide. Seth flops all around while he twists down, unable to keep his balance, and landed hard on his butt in the sand. He was clearly a little traumatized by this unexpected assault.

I keep sitting there, waiting to see what he'll do first.

He gets off the slide. He marches under it so he can be on the side where he can look up and see this kid's face. And he points a finger at him and says very, very forcefully:

DON'T!

DO THAT!

AGAIN!

PLEASE!

Waving his finger on each word.

Haha! And, I'm telling you . . . . This mother heart sighed a little sigh! And I thought, this kid's gonna be ALRIGHT.... Way to stand up for yourself, kid! He didn't exact his revenge. He didn't start bawling for his mom. He didn't run away, too scared to go back....

In fact, a couple minutes later, he went to go down the slide again, with the kid still staking out the push-people-down spot!

Seth starts to shimmy past him—the kid sitting down was only a little shorter than Seth was standing up, and he was also occupying most of the space.... He puts his hand on the kid's shoulder (hahaha! that killed me!) and says: "Now don't push me down. ...ALRIGHT?"

[This is my heart swelling with awe.]

And Seth actually sits down to try again, with this guy right at his back.

[Pitter-patter my mother heart.]

And this KID!!!

The kid PUSHED him AGAIN!!

[The pitter-patter was over!]

I was off of that bench SO fast...! It was really kind of funny, because I didn't even notice myself decide to get up. By the time I was thinking to myself, "that little PUNK!" I was already halfway across the sand. Stomping. And mad. And ready to bop that kid on his punky little head. 

My fury alarmed me. Hehe. (Somewhere inside—somewhere under the rage—I really laughed over it, too. :))

About 3/4ths of the way there, I realized that bopping the kid or throwing him down the slide was not going to be acceptable, and I literally stood there taking a couple deep breaths before I talked to the kid. I said something like, "Excuse me, he asked you to please not push him down again, and you really need to do what he asked. He doesn't want you to push him down the slide. He TOLD you this, you LITTLE PUNK!!" No, I didn't really say that last part. ;-)

[At which point his grunge-biker dad (this surprised me... :)) came over and shouted, "BOY! You keep your hands off of people!!" And I thought, whoa.... I sure hope he doesn't actually get bopped.]

So, anyway, I adore this story. I was surprised at the fiery rage that flared all through me in about a billionth of a moment. And Seth surprised me with his awesome, awesome finger-wagging, standing up for himself in a direct but polite enough way: "DON'T! DO THAT. AGAIN. PLEASE!" And his willingness to try again, put his hand on the kid's shoulder and say, "now don't push me, alright?" There are so many things to love about the whole exchange.... :) I just love this little guy. He's a fascinating and beautiful person to me. :)

Pain: Part One

People keep asking about my INFERNAL HEADACHE, and sometimes it comes out as, "do you have a headache today?" It catches me off-guard every time, and I always think "umm... well, of course I do... but it's not THE headache. Just a headache. And when—when, I ask you?!—does a person not have a headache? Huh... do you think... maybe... this person sometimes doesn't have a headache, and that's why they could ask this? Huh . . . ."

When I met with my neurologist, he kept asking me to rate my headache on the pain scale*. When the drugs and dosages were working awesomely, I remember telling him, "I feel great! I'd say the headache is only a 3." And he said, "Ah, well that's an improvement.... But we really need to get you to zero." I was totally dumbfounded. Seriously? Zero? Who ever feels zero headache? Zero?! I was totally happy with a three and, actually, I never went back to follow-up.... ;-)

It occurred to me that I had had this discussion clear back in high school: that if I really thought about it, I would always have to say I have a headache, but I just ignore it most of the time and don't really notice. It also occurred to me that ever since my 3-year recurrent Mono (slash CFIDS...?) ordeal in college, in addition to always being tired, I always seem to be in pain. I almost never really think about it, but when I do I can't help but wonder . . . how much of a FREAK am I? Is this normal? 

And you know what seems freakishly abnormal to me? That someone might wake up every day and live their life . . . comfortably . . . . Comfortably? What the heck? Does the human condition allow for this? I'm curious....

Question Number One: Are there some of you out there who sometimes DON'T have any headache at all? 

Question Number Two: If there ARE, are there others of you who are like me, and if you really thought about it would have to ALWAYS say yes to the question, "do you have a headache right now?"

Question Number Three: Is there such a thing—you?—as a person generally living with no discomfort? You just go about your day, and you feel . . . comfortable . . . ? I find this hard to believe. But when people ask me things like, "do you have a headache today?" it makes me wonder.... :)

In short, am I a complete freak?! :) This is the big-picture question. Hehe.

Here are some things I've noticed cause me pain. I'm dying to know if the general response from you readers will be that: A) I'm a freak or dying or something; or B) you can relate to SOME of these things; or even C) you can relate to SEVERAL or all of these things. 

Let me know! Comment! I'm dying of curiosity!

• When I cross my legs, within about one minute, both my knees are screaming with pain.

• When I put my hands in my pockets, my knuckles ache from being bent up against the fabric.

• I wake up a hundred times a night because the places where the bed, or the pillow, or even my own arm or ankle or something are against me are all hurting. It doesn't matter how good the mattress is....

• If I take a sleep aid or something and don't wake up a hundred times a night, I'll sleep in the same position too long and wake up in excruciating, paralyzing, incredible pain! I mean, really.... I can't describe how intense it is. (This is still occasionally worth it to sleep a little better for a little while.... :))

• When I hold a phone, my wrist and ear ache. I keep switching sides, but after about ten minutes that doesn't really help anymore....

• When I take a purse somewhere, even if it's the lightest purse in the world and it sits on my shoulder totally naturally so I don't have to change my posture to carry it, the area where the strap sits gets terribly, terribly sore. Enough so that I will cut my shopping trip short and wish I could have a nap or something. Seriously, it hurts! (Anyone else? A light, good purse?)

• Wearing jeans (which I do every day :)) makes my hip bones hurt where the material presses against them. And, no, my jeans are not too small. (In fact, they're a little too big.)

• Whenever I get blood drawn, most of my arm aches for a couple days. It always makes me feel like a total loser. :)

• Sometimes . . . . This is so ridiculous. Sometimes I wake up because the duvet is resting on my fingers, and the pressure is really making them hurt. Insane.

• Prayer is vital to me—but on my knees with my head bowed and arms folded is so distractingly uncomfortable that if I want real communion for more than about a minute, I often just trust God won't care that I'm laying in bed (or in the shower) talking with Him.

• My legs always hurt. Like I'm training or something.... Except I'm not. (Unless riding a stationary bike five miles a day takes years to train up for. :-| I don't think so....)

• Sitting down, anywhere, any way, any time, is fire on a gazillion joints and muscles. Like right now!

• Oh, and I take two long showers a day just to not feel destroyed. :) This part is great. :)

Anyone? Anyone? And have any of you been told you have Fibromyalgia, and if you have, is this list wholly, partly, or hardly familiar...?

Yes, I take vitamins. Yes, I exercise. Yes, I occasionally try Tylenol or Ibuprofen—Ibuprofen never works, Tylenol sometimes helps a little.

* Pain scale is going to be another scintillating subject in this series. I'm very excited about it. And, in case you're wondering if my pain tolerance is just poor, and also to clarify just how bad the INFERNAL HEADACHE has been, I might make my super-human pain tolerance another post. We'll see.... :) It's actually quite fascinating. :)

Lamest fight song EVER :)

I am a Utah Man, sir, and I live across the green,
Our gang it is the jolliest that you have ever seen.
Our coeds are the fairest and each one's a shining star,
Our yell, you'll hear it ringing through the mountains near and far!

DAVY!

DAVY CROCKETT!

King of the Wild Frontier....

[Haha! How long before Utah fans will finally notice their lame song is a rip-off of another famously lame song...? It'll probably take them just as long as it'll take BYU fans to realize their hymn fight song has way, way, WAY too many verses. We could probably start it on the "rah-rah" part and be right about average.... :)]

The Amazing Race *SPOILER ALERT*

Were any other Amazing Race junkies as bummed as we were to see the Globetrotters eliminated last week...? Best team EVER! The tears just won't stop flowing over here....

Especially because, MAN, it was such an easy task! And they weren't the only ones to struggle with it, either.... So they have five letters—FIVE—that they need to unscramble into some sort of word. They're in Prague. They don't know if the word is Czech or English or what, but I do think they had "Kafka" as a clue at some point.

The five letters are: Z F N R A

Never mind that within about two seconds you should be able to deduce that A is the middle letter, and in another two seconds figure out that the two pairs of consonants that make the most sense together are FR and NZ. Even if you have to make a list of every single possible combination, this takes, at most, five minutes...? I made the following list in three. And I put in bold letters any one that maybe, maybe could possibly be a word.... You'll see I was most generous with this.... :)

FARNZ

FARZN

FAZNR

FAZRN

FANZR

FANRZ

FNARZ

FNAZR

FNRZA

FNRAZ

FNZAR

FNZRA

FRANZ
FRAZN
FRNAZ
FRNZA
FRZAN
FRZNA

FZARN

FZANR

FZRAN

FZRNA

FZNAR

FZNRA

ZFARN

ZFANR

ZFRNA

ZFRAN

ZFNRA

ZFNAR

ZAFRN

ZAFNR

ZANFR

ZANRF

ZARNF

ZARFN

ZRANF

ZRAFN

ZRNAF

ZRNFA

ZRFAN

ZRFNA

ZNAFR

ZNARF

ZNFAR

ZNFRA

ZNRAF

ZNRFA

NFARZ

NFAZR

NFZRA

NFZAR

NFRZA

NFRZA

NAZRF

NAZFR

NAFRZ

NAFZR

NARZF

NARFZ

NZARF

NZAFR

NZFRA

NZFAR

NZRFA

NZRAF

NRAZF

NRAFZ

NRZFA

NRZAF

NRFZA

NRFAZ

RFAZN

RFANZ

RFZNA

RFZAN

RFNAZ

RFNZA

RAZFN

RAZNF

RAFNZ

RAFZN

RANZF

RANFZ

RZAFN

RZANF

RZFNA

RZFAN

RZNAF

RZNFA

RNAZF

RNAFZ

RNZFA

RNZAF

RNFZA

RNFZA

ARZFN

ARZNF

ARNZF

ARNFZ

ARFZN

ARFNZ

AZRFN

AZRNF

AZFRN

AZFNR

AZNFR

AZNRF

ANFRZ

ANFZR

ANRFZ

ANRZF

ANZFR

ANZRF

AFZRN

AFZNR

AFRZN

AFRNZ

AFNZR

AFNRZ

By my very liberal count, there are 11 possibilities. And only one when you consider that as soon as you write down FRANZ, it should be obvious! But people spent hours on this! Poor things....

And poor us, most of all, who lost Big Easy and Flight Time, the best contestants ever, ever, ever. Tears, tears.

Blame Kafka! Boo! :)

Thanksgiving

Things I'm grateful for. Seven.... That seems small for a list like this (don't people just love the top-25 or top-50 lists? ;)), but Thanksgiving Day was our 7th Anniversary! My marriage with Matt is the most important thing in my life.... It gets the big fat #1, and here are seven more to celebrate! :)

1) Seth! I love everything about this person. I'd love to fast-forward ten or fifteen years and see if we got the chance to fall this in love with another kiddo or two, but even if we never do, Seth is more miracle than a person should be able to hope for in one life. :) And he's awesome, too! To paraphrase the illustrious Tom Cruise, he completes us. (Haha!) I love my family so much more than I could ever say.

Ok.... With those two big fat #1's, the rest seem pretty silly. But I'll put six more anyway.... :)

2) The ocean. I love, love, love seeing it every day....

3) Waking up every day and assuming I'll spend most of the day outside, and it'll be pretty and pleasant. This keeps me sane! I love being outside!! (And, maybe even more importantly, Seth loves being outside. A happy, not-pent-up Seth also helps keep me sane. Hehe.)

4) Matt's residency program. Sixty-to-One Hundred-hour weeks and all, this program is perfect. They support the residents, they give him a breadth of experience that keeps him happy, they have a variety of excellent hospitals, and his fellow residents are high-quality great people.... With a schedule like this, it makes such a difference to have the perfect program. THANK you, UCSD!

5) The awesome mega-recording of Tosca, featuring the incomparable Andrea Bocelli. I could listen to this for all eternity.... :) (You know it's gonna be good when the best track is a freaking soprano aria.... Andrea Bocelli+Puccini+awesome tenor arias, and Puccini+soprano makes for an even better piece...? That's a recipe for complete bliss through all 45 tracks.... :))

6) The names Seth and Gabriel. If those hadn't existed, I don't know what we would have done for Seth! Consider the fact that in more than seven years of thinking about boy names, we haven't been able to come up with a single other one that we don't loathe on some level. Everyone says we could find something we love if we had to, but I don't think they understand how much we've thought about this and how little success we've had. I'm scared. Hehe.

7) We took a FABULOUS 24 hours sans-kid to celebrate our anniversary in the exotic location of...San Diego. Got a hotel in the gaslamp (and somehow snagged a great room on the top floor! On the view side!), ate INCREDIBLE Indian food, strolled through some beautiful, clean, pleasant downtown areas, strolled along the harbor, and just had a perfect time. I stood in our room looking out at a couple boats in the harbor, Coronado and the ocean beyond the harbor, the trolley going by, a pretty park underneath us, people strolling around together from all different backgrounds and races, the BLUE, blue sky and the green trees, autumn trees, flowers, and even flowering trees, thinking . . . I . . . LOVE . . . this city. Love it, love it, LOVE it. I don't think half a day goes by that we don't mention to each other how grateful we are to live here! Heaven.... (And a heavenly anniversary! :))

So many more things to be grateful for! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of thankfulness and giving thanks and feeling thanks . . . and eating good food. Food that you were thankful for. Hehe. What a great holiday! (Even when it doesn't fall on your anniversary.... :)) Happy Thanksgiving!

Whoa! I found it! What the heck...?

[To all who enjoyed this post (hehe): as always I must refine my statement. Instances in which holding an elevator is perfectly reasonable: when the doors haven't started to close yet and simply holding the doors so they don't start to close will facilitate getting on; when someone has a kid tearing their hair out and you know waiting for another elevator will cause the mother's poor death; when someone has clearly been running to the building in a state of urgency; when someone is in hard labor trying to get to their epidural upstairs (hehe); um...that's all. :) Instances in which it is ridiculous: all of what I mentioned below, including the scenario where the doors are already closing as you come on the scene. Waiting outside for an elevator? Reasonable. Expected. Waiting inside a box while people keep showing up and slamming the door back open...? Abuse!]

That photo comes courtesy of Vanessa Preziose, by the way. Apparently.... :)

And now for a little venting about a pet peeve: when you get in an elevator, and the doors are closing, and someone runs up either motioning for you to open the doors or, even worse, slams into the button or rams their arm through the door to make sure they get on!

:-|

What the heck is that? First of all, they should be embarrassed to act so desperate about something like a stupid elevator. Second of all, the people on the elevator (even if they're making fun of you like the very nice people in the great picture :)) don't deserve to have to wait extra—in a box–so lame-guy (not in the box) doesn't have to wait at all. They already sat and waited for the elevator to come...! So calm down and wait your turn! The worst is when this happens more than once.... Ugh. Doors opening, closing, opening, closing—almost closed! Nope, opening again. Argh!! Will they never close?! This is especially bad when someone runs up like a maniac and then asks for floor 2. Seriously? You made a fool of yourself getting in, and subjected us to the drudgery of the open-close-open-close game [I don't mean open-close while ascending the floors—I mean the open-close game waiting to just finally get going!]—for floor two? And you're not weeping with shame?

And floor two or not, you couldn't wait an extra 30 seconds for the elevator you don't have to inconvenience people for...? Why ever not? You don't care that they're all stuck in a box? You should cry for yourself and your lameness. Oh, the shame! :)

Sometimes . . . . Hehehehehe . . . . When I'm feeling particularly evil . . . . [This story is why fate—or the gods, or whatever—killed this post, I'm convinced.... Haha!] When I see someone looking at me like, "oh, the elevator is almost closed, I don't want to wait, open the door! Open the door!!," I actually make a startled, "oh!" face, and rush for the buttons to, you know, "push the open-door button." [wink, wink] But really.... I don't. HAHAHAHA!! So sinister. Muwahahahaha!! But maybe seeing someone appear to try to pop an almost-closed door open only to get shut in a box a second time for twice as long, all so they don't have to stand in the open air another few moments—someone willing to be that stinking nice over something so unreasonable—helps them through their awful 10-second wait for the next-door elevator. Hehe. (And, really I was thinking.... Come on! You're making a fool of yourself!)

It always amuses me when I approach an elevator that is closing and the people inside all look at me like, "I suppose you want to get on somehow...," and instead we just wait for the doors to close. (I never, ever, NEVER ask people to hold an elevator for me. In fact, when they do it of their own volition, I'm a little disappointed in the inefficiency. Hehe.) I can tell, somewhere inside, they're all thinking: oh, wow—that unusual display totally made my day!! ;) Hehe. Ah, yes, manners: they're even more satisfying than being evil . . . . ;)

Pocket check.

So, you know how when there's a kid in the house, you need to be careful to check pockets before the laundry...? So that you don't end up with crayons in the dryer or something...?

Apparently, weird things can turn up when there's a doctor in the house. I just pulled the laundry out of the washer to put in the dryer . . . and intercepted a spinal needle!

What the...?

Before doing the laundry:

1) Check Seth's pockets for crayons.

2) Check Matt's pockets for spinal tap instruments.

Gotcha.

A better picture than that last one:

But I still wish it were bigger! Oh well. It should make you salivate anyway.

Here is my Thanksgiving present to all of you blog-readers. It's not only my favorite soup recipe of all time.... It's my favorite recipe of all time! Words can't describe.... Mmmmm...!!!

It takes a long, long time to prepare. But, oh is it worth it. I never realized just how much I could love squash, or cardamon, or cranberries, or pecans, until I ate this soup. It's perfection. Enjoy!!

(The Wolfgang Puck website allows you to adjust the serving size, which is kind of cool. It just doesn't have all the recipes together like I have below.)

Savory Squash Soup

Recipe courtesy Wolfgang Puck

Prep Time:30 min [that's a lie... :)]

Cook Time:2 hr 30 min
Level: Intermediate
Serves:
2 quarts

Ingredients
3 3/4 pounds pumpkin or butternut squash [choose the squash, obviously!]
1 acorn squash (about 1 3/4 pounds)
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 white onion (about 4 ounces), peeled, trimmed, and finely diced
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom
4 cups chicken stock or vegetable stock
1 cup heavy cream
1 sprig fresh rosemary

Garnish:
1 recipe cranberry relish, recipe follows
1 recipe cardamom cream, recipe follows
1/2 recipe spiced caramelized pecans, recipe follows
4 tablespoons pumpkin seed oil [I don't think we've ever included this.... But I bet it's good.]

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut each squash in half and discard the seeds. Brush cut sides with 2 tablespoons of melted butter. Season with salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Arrange the squash cut side down on a rack placed in a baking tray and bake until tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Cool, scoop out the insides of the squash, and puree the flesh in a food processor. Reserve. (You should have about 4 cups of pureed squash).

In a medium stockpot, melt the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter. Over low heat, sweat the onion. Do not allow it to brown. Add the pureed squash and cook over very low heat until heated through, stirring occasionally. Do not allow it to bubble up. Season with the salt, pepper, ginger, and cardamom.

Pour in the stock and bring to a boil, still over low heat, stirring often. Cook about 20 minutes.

In a small saucepan, heat the cream with the rosemary sprig. Remove the rosemary and pour the cream into the soup. Transfer to a blender or food processor and process, in batches, for 2 or 3 minutes. Adjust the seasoning, to taste.

To serve, ladle the soup into heated bowls. Place a tablespoon of cranberry relish in the center, top with a dollop of cardamom cream, then sprinkle with chopped pecans. Drizzle pumpkin seed oil over soup.

Note: If desired, bake small squash until tender, scoop out, and use as individual serving bowls.

Cranberry Relish:
2 cups fresh cranberries
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup verjus or 3 tablespoons lemon juice
In a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer. Continue to cook until the mixture is thick and the berries are glazed. Allow to cool. Transfer to a covered container and refrigerate until needed.

Yield: 1 1/3 cups

Spiced Caramelized Pecans:
3 cups peanut oil [um...we ignore the peanut oil part, and just sort of cook up the pecans the way we know how]
2 cups pecan halves
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 cup sifted confectioners' sugar
In a deep-fryer or a deep pot, heat the oil to 350 degrees. (A deep-frying thermometer can be clipped to the side of the pan so that you can tell when the proper temperature has been reached).

Meanwhile, in a large saucepan bring 2 quarts of water to a boil. Add the pecans and boil for 2 minutes. Drain in a large strainer, shaking off all excess water. Sprinkle the salt and cayenne pepper over the nuts and then coat with the confectioners' sugar, a little at a time, allowing the sugar to melt into the pecans. Toss the nuts by shaking the strainer, adding a little more sugar each time, until all the sugar is used and all the nuts are coated. Do not use hands or a spoon to toss. The nuts should have a glaze of sugar.

Carefully add the nuts to the heated oil, keeping the oil at 350 degrees. Cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove with a slotted spoon to a baking tray to cool.

Yield: 2 cups

Cardamom Cream [this is DIVINE!]:
2 cups heavy cream
1 tablespoon black cardamom seeds
In a small saucepan, bring 1 cup of heavy cream and the cardamom to a boil. Reduce until only 1/4 cup remains. Allow to cool. Reserve.

Whip the remaining 1 cup of heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Stir in the reserved mixture. Chill until ready to serve.

Yield: about 1/4 cup

Say what?

I want to go take a picture of the poster for you to see, but I just can't wait to tell you about the ad we saw yesterday! Hahahaha!! So, there are these burritos at ampm, and they look SO good, let me tell you. Let me show you (sorry it's a small picture):

Delicious looking no? (Yikes.)

And in big letters next to them on a big poster covering the front windows, the most unfortunate ad slogan of all time:

SO NICE

YOU'LL TASTE IT TWICE

Hahahahahaha!!!! Are you dying? We were!

Monkeys.

Seth and I go to the San Diego Zoo a few times a week—it's close by, it's gorgeous, it's safe and fun, it has a free SkyTram ride with an amazing view, and it's a killer place to get some exercise (the hilliness is insane!). Plus.... It's gorgeous. :)

Of all the things I love about the Zoo, though, I think there's one thing that stands out as the most fun:

The monkeys.

Obviously, by that I mean: the people watching the monkeys. Haha! I just love it! People ooh and aahh over lots of animals (and the enclosures at the San Diego Zoo are pretty awesome...), but everyone goes downright wacky over monkeys. The other day we were watching the gorillas from a little secluded part of the enclosure, and from the opposite end kept hearing roaring, hysterical laughter from a crowd of dozens who had gathered in front of the glass. It would be quiet for only a few moments at a time, and then..."HAAAHHHHHHH!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! WWWWAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAAAA!!"

I'm telling you.... It was hilarious! People-turned-monkeys watching monkeys (or gorillas... :)). There we were all by ourselves, and I'm laughing my head off at the crowd—it was impossible not to. We finally went over to see what all the excitement was about, and the baby gorilla was dancing for everyone—interrupting himself sometimes to go chase down an adult and try to climb all over them before they pummeled him back to the ground like he was a total pest.

The gibbons, the orangutans, all those monkeys with the long arms.... You know where to find them because you hear people laughing together hysterically. And when you see them, it's a whole lot of shiny, happy people pressed against the glass. :) There's just something so intoxicating about these cute, little, smart, hairy things who can swing from trees like we only wish we could, but who otherwise seem so much like...us....

People are lying if they say the monkeys aren't their favorite! Everyone's in love with monkeys. :)

Silliness, then and now! ;)

Thanks to my handy-dandy day calculator, and the good luck to have looked at it on just the right day, we celebrated another milestone a couple weeks ago:

4000 days since we met! Haha!

The anniversary of which is actually in a couple days.

I was 17. Matt was 18. Such children!

After spending the evening trying to pelt another car with snowballs and get my window rolled up before they could pelt me (yes, I was the passenger—and yes, I already admitted to being a child), I was hanging out with some buddies in the lobby of my dorm. And, at some point in all this, someone introduced me to "Chris and Matt," who were also hanging out with buddies in the same lobby. (Chris is Matt's childhood/high school best friend and also—completely randomly assigned out of thousands of students if you can believe it! It was so crazy!—his roommate that year in the dorms. Still one of my—our—favorite people ever. Hey, Chris, I've known you for 4000 days! Hahaha!!!)

We sort of a little bit ticked some people off by becoming so engrossed in conversation—Chris, Matt, and I—that we sort of forgot we had previously been engaged with other people. Oops. :) Water under the bridge.... Besides, two soul-mates had found their "other half." Haha! If the world hadn't melted away, that would have been pitiful. Pitiful! ;-)

We talked for a couple hours—until the witching hour when the sexes weren't allowed to be together except in the frigid cold outside or, pathetically, in Food-4-Less. (Our college town was sooooo lame that the only two places open late were Denny's and Food-4-Less!) I remember back in my dorm room that night, writing my best friend Kendra: "I just met the two coolest guys EVER! If we had known them in high school, they would have been our best, best friends—they'd have loved all the stuff we loved to do! They're! So! AWESOME!!!" And, the clincher: "Man, I sure I hope I get a chance to talk to them again. I just feel like they could be such good friends."

I hope I get a chance to talk to Matt again...!! Hahaha!! Eleven years and this little thing called marriage later, here we are....

Highlights of our epic conversation that night:

I had seen Matt for the first time in my life only the day before when he sang a solo in church. My impression through the whole thing was that, wow, I'm intuiting that this guy is totally miserable. He is hating singing this song! (My other impression was that, wow, what a cheesy song. Haha! But I enjoyed that I could tell he hated it, too. :)) So right off when we were introduced I said, "hey! You sang in church yesterday!" Paving the way for the very first thing Matt would ever say to me to be a big...fat...eye-roll.... Haha! He amused me from the start. :)

We discussed the superiority of Dawn Upshaw, and the dreadfulness of many other female singers. Yessss.... (I couldn't believe I'd met someone who actually knew who Dawn Upshaw is. Heaven....)

We discussed so many great movies! Movies my other guy friends had always insisted were not ok for guys to enjoy. Haha! I kept testing them on it, each time just sure they'd finally fail my test and say, "ick! Chick flick!!"

"Ok.... You're going to say you hate it.... But what about.... [I brace myself.] ... Anne of Green Gables?"

This was one of my favorite moments. Matt and Chris look at each other, and without missing a beat! Not one beat!!

Matt: "You little know how utterly wretched I am!!"

Chris: "What if I told you you're fat! Ugly! And a sour old gossip!!"

Hahahaha!!

A few minutes later, I dared to venture into totally futile territory. "Ok, I've been told no straight guy would ever, ever enjoy this movie.... But what about.... Sense and Sensibility?!!"

They look at each other and frown, and I think, ah, it's over. They shrug in unison and Matt says, "eh...." Darn!

"I've seen better Jane Austen...."

HAHAHAHA!!! So they start quoting Pride and Prejudice to me, which I couldn't really enjoy since I hadn't seen it yet, but it was all just so hilarious still. I wanted to go back to all my old guy-friends and say, SEE! See?!! (The funny thing, though, is that it turned out Chris actually isn't straight! Haha! There's still Matt to prove them all wrong. :))

We talked food. We talked concerts and concert venues (don't go to something at Red Rocks unless you're ok with pot, apparently...). We talked composers and operas. We talked films.

And Matt fell in love with me. Seriously. That very night.

And I so could tell.... :)

Three years later, he finally got to tell me he loved me.

It was four years later that he got to marry me.

And it was eleven years later that we . . . went out to Cost Plus on our way back from his mouse lab, with Seth telling me all about the oxygen tanks he saw in the lab, and the shot they gave the mouse, and me telling Matt how while I waited in the car I had noticed on the day-counter on my phone that we had known each other exactly 4000 days today. So Matt bought "a surprise" to celebrate. Turned out to be some sparkling cider that was super-gingery and incredibly excellent. Mmmmm...!!!! Exciting, I know. (It really was so good, though. :)) Haha! Too, too funny. Surprise cider. To celebrate days counted up by your phone.

It's the silly little things that count.... ;-) Still. :)

99 hours....

Residency sucks!!

Not really.... Hehe. But when we say that we're actually enjoying it, people make the mistake of thinking (wha...?) it's easy.... (Seriously? You really think so?) Same thing happened in medical school, which we also enjoyed instead of endured.

I was driving Matt to work this morning (at 6:15 which, believe me, feels a lot better than the times he has to be there at 5:30—whenever he gets to start work at 7:00 or later, it feels downright luxurious) and, as I counted the seconds until I could get back home and crawl back in bed, I marveled for the billionth time that Matt just keeps on doing this. (I would die.) He works like crazy...! He wakes up early in the morning and goes to bed late at night. He goes to conferences on a daily basis to (gulp!) learn even more things, he studies medical literature, and he does research of his own (inducing pulmonary hypertension in mice isn't easy, it turns out!). He tends to bunches of sick kids and babies all day (and sometimes all night and day again...), picks up their nasty germs occasionally, and comforts their parents. 

And he doesn't mess up life by letting all of that get him stressed—and doesn't even come home from his 32-hour shifts and sleep all day (he plays with us instead! Nice...!). He keeps it fun. And has fun. And it's made what could have been a really difficult six years a whole lot of interesting instead. :)

I was marveling at his lack of tantrum this morning, knowing how tired he must be and how long a day he'll have, and I decided I needed to defend this man's honor! Hehe. So here's me dispelling the notion that, for Matt, "it's just so easy." :)

Take this week, for instance. A typical week, even. From this past Sunday until this upcoming Saturday, I counted up that he'll likely log 99 hours. It made me laugh earlier this week when he went to work Sunday morning. Both of us were exultant that, "ah, no big deal, it's just going in for rounds in the morning." Practically a non-work day! He went in at 6:15 in the morning, prepped for rounds, then had rounds, then got out as fast as he could. He left the hospital on this virtual "day off" at a glorious 1:30 in the afternoon. It was still a 7.5-hour workday! Hahaha!! And it didn't even occur to me until later that it was much of a workday at all. You know you work hard when you practically skip back home after working "only" 7.5 hours—when you're tempted to call it almost a "day off." 

The next day he went in to work at 6 in the morning, worked all day, worked all night (admitting kids, not sleeping one bit...), rounded the next morning and came home at 1:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday to take a shower and go to the Wild Animal Park with me and Seth. Went to bed. Got up to go to work at 6 again, and worked until 6 in the evening. (Only a month or two ago, we would have gone to the beach for the evening, but now with this infernal time change the sun is already down. Sigh. It makes a 12-hour workday seem so much longer than it used to!) Today: in at 6 again. Tomorrow: 6-6. Saturday, in at 6, out on Sunday afternoon. Day off? Monday! Finally.... :)

Now don't let me hear anyone say anymore that Matt is getting off easy! Or so help me...!! Hehe.

Yes, we're having fun. And, yes, med school was (gasp!) fun, too. 

Want to know the secret? :)

He loves it! How else are you going to survive a 32-hour shift in a good mood? (I even watched the clock on 6-hour shifts, in work I really, really liked! 32 hours? You kidding me?) He loves kids. He loves working with their parents. He loves medicine. 

Another secret: he even loves the learning environment. A lot of med students and residents get majorly stressed because they've never been in a situation where people are frequently telling them they're screwing up. Think about it: they're a whole bunch of overachievers who were always model students and model whatever else. Now they get immersed in this work they don't know that much about, with attendings in charge of educating them on-the-job. You can imagine that sometimes an attending comes around who isn't delicate when he/she says: "you sucked that up, kiddo! It's really like this." One of the best personality traits for this whole experience has been that Matt actually enjoys the teaching environment, appreciates direction however it comes, and isn't at all concerned—in the least—with looking like he doesn't need to be corrected. Every time he's worked with an attending who is notoriously "difficult," in med school and now, he's had a uniquely great experience with them, felt like he learned a lot and, in turn, earned their respect and formed a great (if sometimes kind of strange... :)) relationship. Erases a lot of potential stress!

Add all that to his being so accustomed to being sleep-deprived (he has spent his whole life unable to sleep about one night in four or five because of a totally bizarre condition—something to do with hypothalamus damage, probably), to his general tendency to shirk stress, his cleverness in minimizing superfluous workload (he's seriously a genius at knowing what needs to be overdone and what doesn't... :)), and his determination to make his family-time his top priority, and you get 99-hour workweeks that aren't so bad.... :)

So, ok, you're not going to hear us complain much about how terrible residency life is. But this man works so, so hard. And the world needs to know it! Thank the Lord he's in a career he loves so much, so that we can survive this path so well. It's truly a blessing. :)

[This is me grinning cutely now at Matt rolling his eyes at me for writing this post. Hehe. :-* Muah!]

The Love of God

Every six months, our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) holds a worldwide meeting so we can all "gather" together (satellite broadcasts are handy that way :)) and hear from the leaders of the Church. It's always an inspiring set of meetings, which is good since it's always 8-10 hours total. Yes. Eight to ten hours. Hehe. (Mormons have a love affair with meetings. If you could take all the hours of meetings in the whole wide world, and put them all in a jar.... A Mormon would come steal the jar and insist on keeping them all to himself! Haha!)

Every now and then, a talk (or sermon, really...) comes along that Matt and I, after restraining a few enthusiastic "Hallelujahs!," figure should be stapled to every member of the Church. Hehe. We have a good little list going: Elder Ballard's "people not programs" talk; Elder Nelson's "Nurturing Marriage" talk (one of the best, most needed quotes of all time: "As I meet with priesthood leaders, I often ask about the priorities of their various responsibilities. Usually [surprise...] they mention their important Church duties to which they have been called. Too few remember their responsibilities at home. Yet priesthood offices, keys, callings, and quorums are meant to exalt families. Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally. So brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children." HALLELUJAH!!!!!). Maybe I'll put a list of all our favorites sometime.

The reason we joke about stapling them to people is not necessarily because the talk was so good, but because some of the ideas in the talk are fairly novel in our culture—and so needed. We get in a habit of recycling the same ol' phrases and ideas—how many times have we all heard a bishop get up and say, "My wife has felt like a single mother while I've been the bishop. [the congregation laughs] But she knows this call is from God, and was willing to pick up the slack at home while I served the Lord, and has been such an example to our children of faithfulness, and I couldn't have done it without her. [ugh]"—and every now and then one of the leaders of the Church puts an old idea that we're not actually thinking about on its head (see above Elder Nelson quote again! So good.... You "serve the Lord" in your families—particularly your marriage—even more than in the Church! Hallelujah! Staple it to everyone! :)).

Sometimes it's not so much a revolutionary idea as just a simple, beautiful, somewhat-lost way of talking about some wonderful truth. And we should staple it ourselves. Hehe. So we can be reminded often....

Well, this last Conference had what has to be my favorite talk I've ever, ever heard. (And Matt says he agrees—his favorite ever.) Elder Uchtdorf (in the Presidency of the Church) was already our all-time hero—every time he says even a single word, I feel to thank God all over again that he's the one in his calling! We love him. Love him, love him, love him. Times a million now for this perfect, perfect talk. 

Please read it (again, or for the first time :)). If we could staple it to every one, we could actually unstaple all the rest. This points us, like Christ did, away from the exhaustive list of "shoulds" and "should-nots" and to the things that really matter. And, like he says in the talk, if we really internalized those couple of things, all the rest would fall into place. God loves us! And we must love Him! It's all that matters. I keep wanting to say more, but this talk speaks for itself. And I say...Hallelujah! Amen! If you've ever wondered what it is that I believe, this is it.

The Love of God

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continually growing and becoming better known throughout the world. Although there will always be those who stereotype the Church and its members in a negative way, most people think of us as honest, helpful, and hardworking. Some have images of clean-cut missionaries, loving families, and friendly neighbors who don’t smoke or drink. We might also be known as a people who attend church every Sunday for three hours, in a place where everyone is a brother or a sister, where the children sing songs about streams that talk, trees that produce popcorn, and children who want to become sunbeams. [He smiled at this, and added that he loves that song. :)]

Brothers and sisters, of all the things we want to be known for, are there attributes above all others that should define us as members of His Church, even as disciples of Jesus Christ? Since our last general conference six months ago, I have pondered this and similar questions. Today I would like to share with you some thoughts and impressions that have come as a result of that inquiry. The first question is:

How Do We Become True Disciples of Jesus Christ?

The Savior Himself provided the answer with this profound declaration: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”1 This is the essence of what it means to be a true disciple: those who receive Christ Jesus walk with Him.2

But this may present a problem for some because there are so many “shoulds” and “should nots” that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of “good ideas.” [Amen!]

This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious “experts” of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.3

So how do we stay aligned with these weightier matters? Is there a constant compass that can help us prioritize our lives, thoughts, and actions? Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” He said. “This is the first and great commandment.”4 Coupled with the second great commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves5—we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.
When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden. [:-)]

Why Should We Love God?
God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. [Yes!] His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God! [Amen!]
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.
We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. What and how we love not only defines us as individuals; it also defines us as a church. Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ.

Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things.

And the greatest of all good things is God.

Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, much more than any mortal mind can comprehend. Under His direction the Great Jehovah created this wondrous world we live in. God the Father watches over us, fills our hearts with breathtaking joy, brightens our darkest hours with blessed peace, distills upon our minds precious truths, shepherds us through times of distress, rejoices when we rejoice, and answers our righteous petitions.

He offers to His children the promise of a glorious and infinite existence and has provided a way for us to progress in knowledge and glory until we receive a fulness of joy. He has promised us all that He has.

If all that is not enough reason to love our Heavenly Father, perhaps we can learn from the words of the Apostle John, who said, “We love him, because he first loved us.”6

Why Does Heavenly Father Love Us?
Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you.7

God does not look on the outward appearance.8 I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.
He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. [Amen, Amen!]

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.9

How Can We Increase Our Love of God?
Since “God is love,”10 the closer we approach Him, the more profoundly we experience love.11 But because a veil separates this mortality from our heavenly home, we must seek in the Spirit that which is imperceptible to mortal eyes.

Heaven may seem distant at times, but the scriptures offer hope: “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”12

However, seeking God with all our hearts implies much more than simply offering a prayer or pronouncing a few words inviting God into our lives. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.”13 We can make a great production of saying that we know God. We can proclaim publicly that we love Him. Nevertheless, if we don’t obey Him, all is in vain, for “he that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”14

We increase our love for our Heavenly Father and demonstrate that love by aligning our thoughts and actions with God’s word. His pure love directs and encourages us to become more pure and holy. It inspires us to walk in righteousness—not out of fear or obligation but out of an earnest desire to become even more like Him because we love Him. By doing so, we can become “born again . . . [and] cleansed by blood, even the blood of [the] Only Begotten; that [we] might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory.”15

My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you.

How Can We Hear the Father’s Voice?
As you reach out to your Heavenly Father, as you pray to Him in the name of Christ, He will answer you. He speaks to us everywhere.

As you read God’s word recorded in the scriptures, listen for His voice.

During this general conference and later as you study the words spoken here, listen for His voice.

As you visit the temple and attend Church meetings, listen for His voice.

Listen for the voice of the Father in the bounties and beauties of nature, in the gentle whisperings of the Spirit.

In your daily interactions with others, in the words of a hymn, in the laughter of a child, listen for His voice.

If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ.

As we draw near to Heavenly Father, we become more holy. And as we become more holy, we will overcome disbelief and our souls will be filled with His blessed light. As we align our lives with this supernal light, it leads us out of darkness and toward greater light. This greater light leads to the unspeakable ministerings of the Holy Spirit, and the veil between heaven and earth can become thin.

Why Is Love the Great Commandment?
Heavenly Father’s love for His children is the core message of the plan of happiness, which plan is made active through the Atonement of Jesus Christ—the greatest expression of love the world has ever known.16

How clearly the Savior spoke when He said that every other commandment hangs upon the principle of love.17 If we do not neglect the great laws—if we truly learn to love our Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul, and mind—all else will fall into place.
The divine love of God turns ordinary acts into extraordinary service. Divine love is the motive that transports simple words into sacred scripture. Divine love is the factor that transforms reluctant compliance with God’s commandments into blessed dedication and consecration.
Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder.

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.

Love is the way of the disciple.

I testify that God is in His heaven. He lives. He knows and loves you. He is mindful of you. He hears your prayers and knows the desires of your heart. He is filled with infinite love for you.
Let me conclude as I began, my dear brothers and sisters: what attribute should define us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Let us be known as a people who love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and who love our neighbor as ourselves. When we understand and practice these two great commandments in our families, in our wards and branches, in our nations, and in our daily lives, we will begin to understand what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus the Christ. Of this I testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES
1. John 14:15.
2. See Colossians 2:6.
3. See Matthew 23:23.
4. Matthew 22:37, 38.
5. See Matthew 22:39.
6. 1 John 4:19.
7. See Isaiah 54:10; Jeremiah 31:3.
8. See 1 Samuel 16:7.
9. See D&C 88:63.
10. 1 John 4:8.
11. See Romans 5:5; 1 John 4:7, 16.
12. Jeremiah 29:13.
13. 1 John 5:3; see also 2 John 1:6.
14. 1 John 2:4; see also Isaiah 29:13.
15. Moses 6:59.
16. See John 15:13.
17. See Matthew 22:40.

I can't say Amen enough. :) Beautiful.

(Also, just one more little bit of commentary.... I think one of the most profound moments of the entire conference for me was when he said: "We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love...." I've always believed people are fundamentally good, as we are all God's children. But I don't think I had ever considered that His great attribute—His perfect love—is a heritage I have inherited somewhere in there. Love, yes. Love like His love...? A capacity for love that is vast...? Because I'm created in the image of God.... My soul was filled with the truthfulness of those words! All of us "are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love....")

Hiatus.

I've been a slacker with emails and blog posts and other such things, mostly because THE INFERNAL HEADACHE is forcing its way into my life again. Looking at the computer screen makes it worse, so despite the loads of fun blog topics that keep popping into my head, I've been disciplining myself. Maybe you'll get them someday! Here's a little something to make you laugh, though.... Happy Halloween!

(I had to pick five people. Since there are only three in my family, my brother Jordan—gone these last 14 months in El Salvador—was an obvious choice. But who should get to groove alongside Jordan? His mom, of course! Who...hahaha! Worked out quite nicely.... :))

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10th Percentile!

Seth has always been tall and skinny. He was born 6 pounds 2.5 ounces and almost 20 inches long—I think that was 50th percentile for length and 10th percentile for weight. While most babies would end up—even in the next few weeks—somewhere in the middle on both, Seth just kept gravitating to both ends of the spectrum. Pretty soon he was 75th percentile in length and less than 5th percentile for weight. We might have been more concerned if not for the facts that he ate really well, that I produced an insane amount of milk, and that he leveled out very nicely at 75th and 3rd-5th indicating that, well, that's just how he was gonna be! His calories appeared to go into height more than fat, I guess.

Still.... We were watching it! Careful to notice if his weight was going to suddenly drop off the chart entirely. (It did once: he had been going strong at a whopping 3rd percentile for several months, but a nasty virus wiped him off the chart. A couple weeks later he was back....)

And because we've been watching it, we know that in the first two-plus years he never exceeded 5th percentile. Usually he's at 3rd. His height has always been 75th or 80th.

A couple months ago, we had to take him to the hospital for what turned out to be an intestinal emergency (his intestine telescoped onto itself...) and when he stepped onto the scale—three years and two months old—he weighed 28 pounds. Uh-oh!! Alarm bells went off in my head for how stinking pitiful that sounded! 28 pounds? I braced myself for some scolding or something.

Guess what? That's actually 10th percentile! Seriously? His measly 28 pounds (actually, a month later for his well-child visit, he'd regained what he lost when his intestines were destroyed, and weighed 29 pounds) is actually an improvement on his growth chart?! Break out the bubbly! Hehe. 10th percentile! Woo hoo!!!

Also at his well-child visit, we discovered he's graduated to 85th percentile in height. So I guess his weight-to-height ratio is probably just as skinny as ever. But that's Seth.... :)

"there is just one moon, and one golden sun..."

I tried to take some pictures of Seth on "It's a Small World," and the results were a little bit awesome. Which isn't to say they qualify as good photos.... Haha! (I quickly discovered my camera—or probably most any camera—was no match for such low light!) But the colors and painting-look were so fun that I just kept shooting.

And in case you've ever wondered if the Small World song could possibly cloy any more, it turns out that. Yes. It. Can. Seth's version goes something like this:

"It's a small world after all. [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all! [up a step] It's a small world after all!" You get the idea. :) When it gets high enough that he doesn't feel like going any higher, he'll repeat the line a few times at the same pitch, but this time increasing in volume. The drama has to build somehow, right?

Had us rolling!

Just goes to show you how dozens of days in Coronado...

can spoil even the most innocent.... Haha! (And how even a wee little kiddo can appreciate, all on his own, things that are lovely. :)) Probably a good 75% of the times we go to the beach, we go to Coronado, and the rest of the time we skip around.... The other day we went to Torrey Pines State Beach for a late-afternoon playtime. Like any good parent, before getting out of the car we attempted to bribe Seth into eating his dinner. :) "We're going to sit here in the car until you're done. After you eat, we can get out and play at the beach! Make sure you eat so we can get out and play, or we'll have to just go home...." ;-) We've GOT him, we thought. There's nothing he loves as much as the beach! YESSSS....

He looked out the window at this gorgeousness:

and said to us, cool as could be, "but that's not the beach! There's no white sand.... There's just brown sand...!"

Hahahahaha!!! That he ever even noticed the different colors of sand was news to us. And that he judged this beach so inferior to not even be a "beach" because it didn't have Coronado's white sand (I'm pretty sure he's never even heard people talk about Coronado being a "white sand beach," either!) was so funny to us that we nearly took him out to play even before his dinner was gone. 

In the end, he decided he wanted to be out there enough to eat his dinner. And he had a great time. And it was gorgeous and fun! And he came back in the car and said with a big sigh, "Ah, that was so fun! That was fun to play at the beach! Thank you for taking me to the beach!"

So I guess it earned a place after all.... :) 

And an Apology...

...to my dear Matthew. For making my Songs of the Year post with colors he can't distinguish. Poor guy almost had a heart attack when he thought "Wake Me Up before You Go-Go" was in red. (Never! Hehe. :)) 

Honorable Mention

I don't think I'm alone that I feel a lot of nostalgia over certain songs! Here are some songs that are cemented to various times of my life:

Middle School — anything by Boyz II Men (I never liked them, for the record. But boy does it take me back! Early 90's, baby!)

My dorm room (or my freshman year of college :)) — Satellite, Dave Matthews Band; A Long December, Counting Crows (this one seemed so applicable to me once the weather turned bad and I was missing home; it's still one of my favorite, favorite songs of all time :))

Having Mono — Kiss Me :-*, Sixpence None the Richer (haha! I was diagnosed just before Valentine's Day. This song smacked of such irony for me. :))

Matt's two years in Korea — a big pot of cheesiness.... Hehe.

Dating Matt — anything by Norah Jones, Joe Williams, or Kevin Mahogany. "Our song" is Come Away with Me, by Norah Jones. I still get all twitterpated when I hear it, feeling those fun dating days all over again. :)

The end of Winter in Provo — I learned in a geography class (in Utah taught by a Utahn, so I don't doubt the validity) that the official climate definition in the Utah Valley and up to Salt Lake and beyond is characterized by having only two seasons: a harsh, extreme Summer for half the year, and a harsh, extreme Winter the other half, with no Spring or Fall to speak of (by a geographer/meteorologist definition). [Interesting side-note: that particular climate distinction had to be created to classify that area of Utah; there is no other significant area in the world with the same climate. Interesting!] Live there very long at all, and you see this is oh so true. By March, I was always DYING to see the sun again, and for all the dirty snow that had been around for 5 or 6 months to finally melt and let some flowers grow. More than dying. I was very nearly insane. Really. And in those last couple weeks of Winter before the 1-week "Spring" (that always ended with one last snowfall to smoosh the new flowers! Bummer...) and the start of Summer, I would play "Here Comes the Sun" (The Beatles, of course :)) over and over again. Can I explain how happy this song made me?!! The promise I felt from it?! Hehe. No. No, I can't. It complemented the anticipation perfectly, and made me feel like I wasn't weird for wanting the sun back from behind those clouds. "The smile's returning to the faces! It been so long since it's been here!" It's all right. :)

"The Best Summer of Our [my and Amy's :)] Lives" — Somebody Hates Me, Reel Big Fish. This song is THE most cathartic song in the history of catharsis! Put it on your playlist!

Having Seth — Crazy, Gnarls Barkley. In the hospital, Greg said something to me about this song, and I was like, oh, I haven't heard of that song. And he looked at me completely dumbfounded. "How have you managed to not hear Crazy?" On the way home from the hospital, with Seth in his car seat and Greg riding with us because he wanted to sit by his first little nephew, Crazy came on. And every time I was in the car with our new baby for probably the next 6 months, it came on some more. I hear it and feel like a brand-new mom all over again. :)

Dancing with Seth when he was small enough that I could do that — Better Together, Jack Johnson; Everything, Michael Bublé. I used to hold Seth and dance around the room. He loved it, and I burned calories, and it was really cute and fun. :) These were his two favorites—the ones he started dancing to on his own once he could pull himself up.

Seth's baby era — Sweet Escape, Gwen Stefani. Seth loved it! When he was 8 or 9 months old, he'd sing along to the "ooh-ooh" part, and wave his hands in the air almost like he knew how to groove. My mom had come to visit once and would sing it with him in the backseat, and it was their special little thing. When it comes on now, Seth still says, "this was my song I loved with grandma when I was a baby!"

More of Seth's baby era — De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da, The Police. He was only four or five months old when we were shocked to hear him trying to sing along to this song. This tiny little voice in the backseat, "ooooo-oooo, aaaaaa-aaaaa," whenever the chorus came back on. One of my favorite little family moments ever. :) This song makes me feel like a tiny baby we're still getting to know is singing in the backseat again. :)