When I met with my neurologist, he kept asking me to rate my headache on the pain scale*. When the drugs and dosages were working awesomely, I remember telling him, "I feel great! I'd say the headache is only a 3." And he said, "Ah, well that's an improvement.... But we really need to get you to zero." I was totally dumbfounded. Seriously? Zero? Who ever feels zero headache? Zero?! I was totally happy with a three and, actually, I never went back to follow-up.... ;-)
It occurred to me that I had had this discussion clear back in high school: that if I really thought about it, I would always have to say I have a headache, but I just ignore it most of the time and don't really notice. It also occurred to me that ever since my 3-year recurrent Mono (slash CFIDS...?) ordeal in college, in addition to always being tired, I always seem to be in pain. I almost never really think about it, but when I do I can't help but wonder . . . how much of a FREAK am I? Is this normal?
And you know what seems freakishly abnormal to me? That someone might wake up every day and live their life . . . comfortably . . . . Comfortably? What the heck? Does the human condition allow for this? I'm curious....
Question Number One: Are there some of you out there who sometimes DON'T have any headache at all?
Question Number Two: If there ARE, are there others of you who are like me, and if you really thought about it would have to ALWAYS say yes to the question, "do you have a headache right now?"
Question Number One: Are there some of you out there who sometimes DON'T have any headache at all?
Question Number Two: If there ARE, are there others of you who are like me, and if you really thought about it would have to ALWAYS say yes to the question, "do you have a headache right now?"
Question Number Three: Is there such a thing—you?—as a person generally living with no discomfort? You just go about your day, and you feel . . . comfortable . . . ? I find this hard to believe. But when people ask me things like, "do you have a headache today?" it makes me wonder.... :)
In short, am I a complete freak?! :) This is the big-picture question. Hehe.
Here are some things I've noticed cause me pain. I'm dying to know if the general response from you readers will be that: A) I'm a freak or dying or something; or B) you can relate to SOME of these things; or even C) you can relate to SEVERAL or all of these things.
Here are some things I've noticed cause me pain. I'm dying to know if the general response from you readers will be that: A) I'm a freak or dying or something; or B) you can relate to SOME of these things; or even C) you can relate to SEVERAL or all of these things.
Let me know! Comment! I'm dying of curiosity!
• When I cross my legs, within about one minute, both my knees are screaming with pain.
• When I put my hands in my pockets, my knuckles ache from being bent up against the fabric.
• I wake up a hundred times a night because the places where the bed, or the pillow, or even my own arm or ankle or something are against me are all hurting. It doesn't matter how good the mattress is....
• If I take a sleep aid or something and don't wake up a hundred times a night, I'll sleep in the same position too long and wake up in excruciating, paralyzing, incredible pain! I mean, really.... I can't describe how intense it is. (This is still occasionally worth it to sleep a little better for a little while.... :))
• When I hold a phone, my wrist and ear ache. I keep switching sides, but after about ten minutes that doesn't really help anymore....
• When I take a purse somewhere, even if it's the lightest purse in the world and it sits on my shoulder totally naturally so I don't have to change my posture to carry it, the area where the strap sits gets terribly, terribly sore. Enough so that I will cut my shopping trip short and wish I could have a nap or something. Seriously, it hurts! (Anyone else? A light, good purse?)
• Wearing jeans (which I do every day :)) makes my hip bones hurt where the material presses against them. And, no, my jeans are not too small. (In fact, they're a little too big.)
• Whenever I get blood drawn, most of my arm aches for a couple days. It always makes me feel like a total loser. :)
• Sometimes . . . . This is so ridiculous. Sometimes I wake up because the duvet is resting on my fingers, and the pressure is really making them hurt. Insane.
• Prayer is vital to me—but on my knees with my head bowed and arms folded is so distractingly uncomfortable that if I want real communion for more than about a minute, I often just trust God won't care that I'm laying in bed (or in the shower) talking with Him.
• My legs always hurt. Like I'm training or something.... Except I'm not. (Unless riding a stationary bike five miles a day takes years to train up for. :-| I don't think so....)
• My legs always hurt. Like I'm training or something.... Except I'm not. (Unless riding a stationary bike five miles a day takes years to train up for. :-| I don't think so....)
• Sitting down, anywhere, any way, any time, is fire on a gazillion joints and muscles. Like right now!
• Oh, and I take two long showers a day just to not feel destroyed. :) This part is great. :)
Anyone? Anyone? And have any of you been told you have Fibromyalgia, and if you have, is this list wholly, partly, or hardly familiar...?
Yes, I take vitamins. Yes, I exercise. Yes, I occasionally try Tylenol or Ibuprofen—Ibuprofen never works, Tylenol sometimes helps a little.
* Pain scale is going to be another scintillating subject in this series. I'm very excited about it. And, in case you're wondering if my pain tolerance is just poor, and also to clarify just how bad the INFERNAL HEADACHE has been, I might make my super-human pain tolerance another post. We'll see.... :) It's actually quite fascinating. :)
8 comments:
Wow. I never knew you were such a freak! Just kidding. But not really. Hehe. I can honestly say that most days I have no pain. The only part of your post that I related to was that it hurts to kneel for prayer. I never do it. I figure Heavenly Father would rather that I have a real talk with him while I lie in bed, than a short one where I'm on my knees. Does Matt think the amount of pain you feel is unusual or in need of treatment? I'm sorry you hurt all the time! That sucks!
I hurt all the time when I am pregnant, which is one of the reasons I HATE being pregnant. But the rest of the time I am usually pain free. I get the phone-ear thing, but only after I've been talking on the phone a really long time. I get headaches occasionally, but they are the exception and not the rule. Right now I can feel that my legs are touching the chair and the keyboard tray is touching my legs and my palms are resting lightly on top of the keyboard but only because I'm thinking about it. None of it causes me any pain. I'm a little hungry b/c I've been awake 2 1/2 hours and haven't eaten yet and I can feel that but I'm ignoring it until after I get a chance to exercise and it's not really painful, it's just there. I'm sorry that you hurt all the time. I would have to work really hard not to be crabby if that was me. I'll be interested to hear what else you have to say on the topic of pain!
I would say aches and pains are a part of everyday, but yours seem a little extreme. What are you, 80? ;) I do not have a headache everyday, especially if I sleep for over 7 hours (with no interruptions). But I do frequently have headaches or get them as the day wears on... especially with #3! My body is definitely not as sensitive as yours (crossing legs? talking on phone? I can do those for hours).
Seriously, Hillary, I AM an old woman! Sometimes I wonder what it will be like to be 80, when I've got all these ol' aches and pains in my 20s.
This is all very fascinating. I still can't imagine how it's possible that a person could sit and think about it, and still conclude: nope, I just don't feel any pain right now. Fascinating.... I think I've always just assumed it's part of being alive. :) (I think I've been this way most of my life, too.... Maybe all of it! I don't know....)
Your post almost makes me feel a little bit guilty, because most days I have zero pain. Sometimes my lower back hurts when I wake up, but the pain is usually proportional to how well I stretched it after working out the day before; and I can usually ease it or make it go away completely by stretching it a little better right then. I know my younger sister has a lot of random ailments and is in pain probably most of the time. Like you, she doesn't really ever NOT have a headache, but also has a lot of stomach aches.
Whoa, I think I was out of college before I even knew what a headache felt like. Some of those things like crossing me legs too long or not frequently changing positions while sleeping make me uncomfortable, but not really in pain. It makes me sad that you can't imagine being pain-free.
I rarely get a headache, but when I do it will usually go away if I eat something sensible. If not, ibuprofen always gets the job done.
Typically my body is pain-free, but since I've started jogging, I always have some place that is a little sore-- sometimes noticeable and sometimes only if I'm thinking about it.
But (and I don't know if this applies to your question) I am ALWAYS thirsty. I sometimes wonder if there are people who go about their lives and are not thirsty all of the time. My thirst usually gets bad enough to wake me up 2 or 3 times a night. But on a positive note, getting eight glasses of water a day is easy--I usually have that much before I go to work.
Admittedly most of those things cause me no pain. At all. Cross my legs all I want, let that duvet rest on my fingers.
But I do have a headache most days. Not infernal ones, most of the time, but usually there is at least a 1-3 scale headache. The absolutely zero headache days are rare, but they do occur as well. More often when I actually take allergy medicine and get a full night of sleep, but those days are rare nowadays. :)
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