Things I'll Never Do

Every time we go to visit my parents in the town I grew up in (it's no town anymore, though! More and more crowded all the time!), at some point it strikes me as sort of kind of interesting that we chose a career that will forever keep us in a big city, and never a bedroom community like Murrieta. It got me thinking about other things I already know I'll never do!

Live in Suburbia

Most everyone I know lives the suburban life, as have both of us, but we're bona fide city folk now! We know this because: 1) we are really opposed to much of a commute (why spend an hour or two on the road every day when you could be at home instead? Just to live in a bigger house? No way! Not worth it); and 2) pediatric cardiologists in academic medicine always work out of a city's children's hospital. Plus, we LIKE the city! Well, we like it when it's nature-y (i.e. on the coast :)). Best of both worlds! (By both worlds, I guess I mean city and rural, actually.... :)) So, that's it, I guess. So long, suburbia—you are not in our future. 

The Polar Bear Challenge

Not only will I never do a Polar Bear Challenge, I doubt I'll ever even swim again in the ocean here in California. Weird, huh?! Especially since we go to the beach all the time. The most I ever do is walk at the edge of the waves, and even that has grave consequences. I'M ALLERGIC TO COLD!! No joke! If I get cold, I actually get a histamine reaction. 

Let's say I'm holding a glass of cold water—my hand will swell up until I can't bend my fingers. If I chew ice for too long or eat a big milkshake, my tongue and cheeks swell up so that everything I say sounds ridiculous. Haha! If I, say, live in Provo (dumbest thing I ever, ever did...) and 3/4ths of the school year is freezing, I will live in a perpetual state of itchiness, swelling, redness, and joint pain. And insanity.... Going to BYU football games in the rain or snow, sitting on cold metal bleachers, all my muscles—all over—would constrict with excruciating pain! (I always stayed to finish the game. But OH the PAIN! I should get a super-fan award or something! Hehe.) The worst is swimming. The last time I swam in the ocean (in California, at least...) was 8 or 9 years ago, and I actually went into shock. I said to myself (when I could think again...), "Self, this isn't worth it. You should stop getting in the ocean!" So I did. Every now and then I'm tempted to go for a swim just to show off the biggest hives anyone will ever see! (They really are amazing. :)) But then I remember the times I've laid on the sand, all my muscles in excruciating spasm, hives covering my whole body, and consciousness leaving me.... And I realize, that's just plain dumb. 

(And, in case you're wondering, benadryl doesn't help. In fact, I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic one time, and in the ER they pumped me up with IV benadryl along with pepcid to speed its effect. When nothing happened they pumped me up with more. Hours later...no change! Apparently, I don't respond to benadryl for some reason. Weird.) The coldest I've ever been has actually been in New York. I've been twice, both in April. And both times were the worst weather-related cold I've ever felt! Ooooohhh.... The cold just eats right down to your bones! I think maybe it's the humidity. The first time I went to New York, I spent enough time outside one day that my eyelids swelled almost completely shut! I'm pretty sure I could never survive living on the East Coast. I barely survived Utah and Colorado—if they weren't the two driest places known to man, I would have swelled into oblivion and be long gone by now.

I'll Never Get to Wear This Dress

But, oh! I really, really want to! Hehe. :)

Own a Bikini

This needs no picture. Hehe. Even if I wanted to wear stuff like bikinis, I never could. No matter how toned or cellulite-free I am, I look absolutely dreadful in a bikini! It seriously makes me wonder how it's possible that such a large percentage of women will wear them. Am I that much of a freak? Maybe I am! Haha! I think it might have something to do with the fact that the space between my hip and rib cage is only an inch tall (or a little less, even!). That's...very short for a torso.... Very short. (My legs are 2/3 my total height! The same length as my Dad's legs—he's 6-ft. tall and I'm 5'4"!) Maybe bikinis are for long-torsoed women. And people who want to not have very many clothes on (that's not me :)). Give me a tankini top and board shorts, please. I'm not going to get in the water, anyway.... Hehe. :)

Jump out of an Airplane

Knock on wood! (Let's hope I'm never forced to. :)) I'm sure there IS something wonderfully crazy and exhilarating about it. I just don't think I could ever overcome the reality that I was, in fact, defying death. I don't want to defy death. I want death to defy me. 

Hehe. (Even if that doesn't exactly make sense...! :))

Go to North Korea

Ha ha! I put that one in just to bug Matt. He's just SURE we'll go to North Korea on a humanitarian errand of some kind. I'm all for humanitarian work, but I don't think places like North Korea were made for people like us. The kind of doctor's family who should go give kids vaccinations in North Korea is the kind who would say, "yes, of course" when their Minder says "and, obviously, you will not speak to the children." Or, "yes, of course" when the Minder says "you will now leave a gift at the great statue of the Dear Leader and kiss his generous and kind feet." The kind of family who would be paying attention to their Minder in the first place.... Hehe. And even if we did happen to be paying attention, "yes, of course" would be a much better answer than whatever we would say. Ha! We'd be in prison within two hours of arriving in North Korea. I guarantee it. (Maybe I should have put that we'll never "Go to North Korea without Getting Arrested," just in case Matt talks me into it sometime. :))

I will go to South Korea again—lots of times, I hope! I will not, however, eat kimchi again. Hehe.