Thursday, April 21

Nostalgia: Part Two

And do you think my mom looks at pictures like these and feels a pang of sorrow for a little girl all grown up...? These scenes could almost be from another universe to me—like Seth's and Maren's kid pictures will be to them someday—but I bet to my parents, it feels like just a blink away. Just a blink, and then it was gone! 

I remember thinking about Seth when he was two or three that, wow, he's such a complete person to us. We know him inside and out. He's whole and amazing and full. But this...this is a him he'll never know! Strange, isn't it...? The other day he couldn't remember something I thought we had just barely done together (it had actually been a year ago...) and it was this little stab to my heart. Ouch! Luckily, as Matt always says, yes, he keeps growing, but he keeps getting more and more great. 

Maybe my parents think the same about me.... ;-)











(And, yes, in case you were wondering.... Maren does indeed look exactly like me! It's weird! But fun, I guess. Especially for my parents who, yes, do miss their little girl, but suddenly have her anew. She does have different eyebrows! Proof she's not actually my clone....)

Wednesday, April 20

Nostalgia

Do you ever feel nostalgic for something before it's even past...? The second I saw this photo, I knew it would make me insanely sad-happy one day.


Oh, man! Someday I'll look at that, and that little boy will be gone! All gone! He'll be having kids of his own, working some grown-up job, and will hardly remember that he was ever this little bundle of cuteness. But right now, this photo is just sooooo him. You just have to soak it up, every moment.

When I was in the hospital with Maren, I remember sniffing her little head, and holding her close—feeling how that is to hold a newborn and look into those dark newborn eyes. I remembered how I learned with Seth that the newborn phase is gone in mere days. Why hadn't anyone told me? Seth was five days old, and already so different.

I sat there with Maren saying to myself, enjoy this! Enjoy this! Soak up the present.

Sure enough, that's just a memory now. And the cuteness that she is now will be a memory later. Enjoy every moment....



Last week:

Tuesday, March 29

Funny Drawing

So Matt and I taught preschool yesterday (always a bonus when Matt can teach with me :)) and had a really funny moment—a moment when we realized, again, that our kid is just plain hilarious. (Well, to us, at least! ;-)) The topic I picked for my rotation this time around is: my mouth. My three lesson days are the sub-themes: teeth and dental hygiene, nutrition, and communication. Yesterday we started with teeth. We busted out big ol' butcher paper and traced the kids with the thought that they'll decorate these drawings throughout the lessons. Step one, yesterday: draw your face on there, and don't forget your mouth and teeth!

Here were the first drawings we saw:




Then we look over at Seth as he pops his marker cap back on and proudly exclaims: "There! My face looks ALL done...!"


:-D
Hahaha!

Monday, March 28

Grumpy Monster

Seth has occasional episodes of extreme grumpiness. Most of the time, he's his normal ol' happy self. Some of the time, he's ridiculously happy. And some of the time, he's a total grump! Part of the problem is that he's an INTP, like Matt, and honest-to-goodness cannot relate one bit to the concept of an "authority figure." We are peers, through and through. It's hilarious! Also...it will never change.... (I know this because I know Matt. Haha! :)) We just hope to be able to appeal to his sense of reason often enough to teach him something. "Because I said so" is never, ever, not EVER going to work. Not even with punishment—he'll just take it in stride. Just ask Matt's parents. ;-)

So here's an example of a grumpface conversation with Seth:

Seth: Can I watch a Wonder Pets, please?
Us: No, sorry, no TV right now.
Seth: WHY?!!
Us: Because we don't want to watch a lot of TV.
Seth: IF YOU DON'T LET ME WATCH WONDER PETS, THEN YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE CONSEQUENCES. SO I SUGGEST YOU LET ME WATCH IT! RIGHT! NOW! [Hahaha!]
Us: Seth, see? Wonder Pets is making you talk meanly. It's ok to be disappointed. It's not ok to be mean. You need to calm down and talk nicely.
Seth: I am very MAD at you! If YOU don't let me watch Wonder Pets, then you can NEVER watch ANY tv. AT. ALL.

At which point, I can't often resist saying something like, "oh, ok. Who is going to stop me?!" (Haha! Ok, not that bad.) It will mean nothing to him, but I sometimes say things like, "hey, I'm the mom, and you're the little boy...." Pointless. :-)

Anyway, Seth does relate to our reasoning—sometimes it helps him learn things, but sometimes he just turns it right back on us. It's hilarious. He really, truly, honestly thinks we're all on level ground together. Not because he's at all insubordinate; just because it's his innate view. (He really is a little Matt. I love it.... :))

This whole story is just to be able to show a couple of pictures that have been cracking me up all day! I was with some ladies the other day who were all talking about kid challenges, and one of them mentioned taking her 6-year-old to therapy to confront some anger issues. The therapist made the girl name her "Angry Monster." There was a chart on the wall at home. Every time she was asked to do something, a point went to her, or it went to her Angry Monster, depending on her response. He challenged her to not let her Angry Monster beat her! She had to win!

I thought that sounded totally brilliant. The mom said her little girl—who had been throwing tantrums her whole life—totally changed in a matter of weeks. She really could see how frequently she was giving over her control to her anger, and that she had the power to beat this. Brilliant...!

We decided to try this with Seth. He named his "Grumpy Monster." It's very creative: Grumpy. Hahaha! (I think it started out "Grumpies," which is kind of cute, but it morphed to "Grumpy.") We've been talking about it a few days, and today I finally made a chart. My initial inclination was to put a picture of Seth versus a creative picture of "a Grumpy Monster," but then I realized that I wanted him to see what we see when he's grumpy. It worked! He was completely taken aback when he saw the picture of Grumpy. All day he's been trying to get me to change it to one of the drawings he brings me of the Grumpy Monster. (Ha! I win!) I catch him staring at the two pictures sometimes, and if I ask him who he wants to be, he's pretty emphatic that he wants to be Seth, not Grumpy. He's been fantastic all night...! Happy as can be. Will it last...? It might be a fluke. I mean, this kid is happy most of the time anyway.... But maybe it has something to do with these two great pictures! And, really, which one would you want to be?! Hahaha!!


Hahahahaha!!! Will it ruin everything if he catches on to me that when I'm totally delighted and laughing, it's over Grumpy's photo? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I adore this kid. There are no words.... :-)

Wednesday, March 16

Thanks for the tip. :)




Courtesy of Copper Mountain Ski Resort in Colorado. 

Wednesday, March 9

Stressed?

Want to know how to reverse it?!

One word: desserts.

No, really. It's the reverse. Don't EVEN try to say it's not because, look! It is! I need more chocolate....

Friday, March 4

Yayyyy 30!

Anyone who has asked me about it knows that I have been way, super-duper excited to turn 30. I've been looking forward to it for years!

It's just been sort of . . . embarrassing . . . the last few years to . . . admit to my age.


Still in my 20's? You kidding me? 

Would they never end?!!!! ;-)

I remember my friend, Amy, mentioning her sister's observation that: "You know the picture in your mind when you think of yourself as an adult? That's your thirties! They're the best!" I realized this must be true. And somewhere along the line, I also realized I was ready to not be a juvenile 20-something anymore. Ready to move on! Own it, baby! Own it! Woooooo hoooooo!!! Thirty!

(I haven't outgrown my juvenile shouting.... ;-))

In honor of achieving the birthday to which I've looked forward so long, I thought I'd document the mood of all the birthdays I remember. It's a little bit funny to look back and remember a distinct excitement (or not) for each one, and why. And since 30 isn't actually that adult, listing all my birthdays just doesn't take very long....

I'll start with not the first birthday I can remember, but the first when I actually cared about the age I was turning. Eight!

8—Super excitement. I felt old and cool.

9—A little bummed to not be 10, but a little excited to be that much closer.

10—SUPER excitement! I still remember everyone in my class (they were all one or two years older than myself) actually seeming excited for me. "How's it feel to be double-digits?" Oh boy. Like I was on top of the world. (Interesting: just now I was thinking about talking with everyone about my birthday, and remembered standing near class with everyone talking about, whoa, being at war! I looked it up: the war actually did start that week!)

11—Already looking forward to 12.

12—WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!

13—I'm a TEENAGER!! YES!!! A teen! I could already see myself being 16 and kissing boys.

14—Eh.

15—Driving permit, baby!! (And, since I was the youngest in my class, I actually did get my permit right after my birthday. Very, very, very cool.)

16—Oh boy. THE. Best. Birthday. EVER. (Even though my super-moral me had sworn off kissing. Hehe. And even though I wasn't the 5'10" blonde I'd always pictured for my 16-year-old self. Hahaha!)

17—It seems impossible, but I'm pretty sure I was even more excited about 17 than I had been about 16. I was graduating from high school this year and going off to college. And maybe something inside knew I'd meet Matt that year.... :)

18—Eh. I liked being a 17-year-old college student better. Plus, I had Mono. (No, not from kissing. ;-))

19—I was excited about that one, but my family might not have believed it. I left a series of messages on their voicemail playing "I Hope They Call Me On A Mission" and other missionary tunes in a minor key with sounds of wailing. Haha! If I were male, I'd have been in the MTC that week, starting a mission. It was my dream.

20—Kristin decorated the London Centre with happy birthday signs! Then she helped me get home when I felt totally sick at the Tower of London. Best of times and worst of times! As far as the number is concerned, I was not all that happy about it. I was studying psychology at the time and was overly amused at being classified as an "adolescent." At 20, I was an adult. That sounded too normal. I wanted to be weird. ;-)

21—WAY excited to turn 21! And I wrote in my journal: "Now I don't have to be too embarrassed that Matt and I are seriously dating." Haha!

22—Now I didn't have to be too embarrassed that I was newly married. (Although, with a little hindsight I realize, whoa! 22 is still SUPER young!)

23—Thought it was very aesthetic.

24—GOLDEN YEAR, baby!!! I had been looking forward to it since I was a child and had first heard of a "golden year." (Your "golden birthday" is when your day of birth and your age are the same number.)

25—Sad to see my golden year end, happy that it had ended so happily with miraculously getting pregnant with Seth. Also happy that 25 sounded more "legit" than the early-20's. My suspicion was confirmed when some ladies at work were hassling me: "Ohhhh.... It's your birthday. What are you, like twenty-three? Twenty-four? Ooooohhh...." I laughed and said, "25." And—no joke!—they all went, "oh, ok! Happy Birthday!" New respect was in their eyes, I could tell. Hahahaha!!

26—Eh. Not aesthetic. Kind of blah.

27—I thought 27 sounded AWESOME. I still do.

28—Eh. I really wished I were turning 30. Or staying 27. But 28 just sounded blah.

29—Even more disappointing than 28! Let me be 30 already!!

And then there was 30, which was the most eagerly-anticipated since...well, since my Golden Birthday. :)

Funnily enough, I was too tired on my 30th birthday to do much of anything. An omen of the decade to come? Hahaha!! Even funnier, I just didn't care that I was too tired. I thought, "woo hoo, 30! Now let me sleep...." And I was totally happy with that.

Time can only tell how I'll feel about 40, but for now I'm still thinking that getting older is good stuff.

Thursday, February 17

Our Sweet Boy

Sometimes I look over at Seth, and his eyes are doing their Seth-thing, and he absolutely takes my breath away. Oh, I love this boy.... :)

Saturday, February 5

One of the unpublished posts. From September.

One of our more intentional goals as parents has been to help our kid not be afraid.

We might be too good at this.

(Hahahahaha!!!)

So, a few weeks ago, Seth was out playing the backyard when all of a sudden, he comes crashing through the bathroom door (I was getting ready for the day) and announces: "Mom!! You've GOT to see! I found a cockroach!!"

And he runs back out.

I go back to my mascara, thinking...great. A stinking cockroach. (And around here, that means the BIG outdoor buggers.... Not those little gross guys in the kitchen. The BIG dudes.)

Five minutes later he bursts through again! "Mom!! I'm building a house for him, mom! It's a GREAT house. It's just for the cockroach!"

So now my son builds cockroach habitats...!

When I got outside, the cockroach was on his back in a pool of water, and Seth was trying to feed it an ant. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Even better, there were a bunch of goldfish crackers strewn around. I guess when the cockroach failed to be interested in cheese crackers, Seth got a little more practical. An ant. Perfect.

"I poured him some water so he could have a drink...." Ohhh. Ok. What a great plan! (I'm thinking of the legs-up result. Most excellent!) Then Seth tells me something about how the cockroach was soooo happy to have a great house and food and water that he did a little dance and flipped onto his back and wiggled his legs. "Like this, Mom...."

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[The next day, the water had evaporated and there were still a few dead ants laying next to the dead cockroach, laying next to the cockroach house Seth built from sticks, with goldfish crackers all around. What a funny cockroach grave.... Seth said, so matter-of-factly: "Welllllll. I think he must be dead." Not a little dance after all....]

Thursday, February 3

Random Thoughts. Shelved.

I have so many posts I wrote while pregnant that I never published. Too much thought-dumping, I guess....

Now you know.

But now, here are some pictures. ;-)








Seth and cousin Kenny! Don't you think they look like they're singing a bar song right here? Haha! Cute boys. :)





Handsome boy #1....
Handsome boy #2.
And...3.... ;-)
You never know what might happen when you conk out at Christmas.

Monday, January 24

Some More Pictures

The sad thing is, you delay publishing a post for a few weeks and the pictures already look like an era gone by.... My goodness! The newborn phase passes in such a hurry.




















This is where Seth decides it would be great fun to burp her. I just kept taking pictures, perhaps a little too confident he wouldn't just drop her. Haha! She dealt with the abuse like a champ. ;-)




Monday, January 3

The Name.

Why Maren Elise...?

I still remember the spot in the road, driving along Mission Bay (in 2003!), when I said to Matt: "Actually.... Ooooooh! I think I like Maren even better than Morgan." And he said, "Ah! Me, too!"

And Maren never wore on us, not in all these years.

I love that we decided on her name in San Diego (the first time we lived here), and that she ended up being born in San Diego, coming home to a house right near Mission Bay. It's kind of sweet.

There's a logical sequence that both name-decisions have followed. Seth's went like this:

1) Williams is boring. A boring first name would be criminal!
2) Boy names are always either: a) too popular or boring, or b) bizarre.
3) We want a non-bizarre but not-popular name.
4) We want a Hebrew name.
5) We want a meaningful name, referencing God.

Seth!! It was perfect from the second we thought of it. WAY down on the Social Security Administration popularity list, yet not bizarre. Sounds great with Williams. Looks great with Williams. And references an incredibly touching moment in the scriptures when Adam and Eve, suffering from the tragic losses of Abel and Cain, are blessed with an "appointed son" to comfort their souls.

It's more than a little hilarious that the scriptures say of Seth that he was "the perfect image" of his father. Our Seth might look much like me, but he is Matt reborn! Really, they're indistinguishable.

(On a more serious note, I love that Adam's and Eve's Seth was said to be "the perfect image" of his father. I think that's a reference to the Father and the Son.)

Then there's Gabriel because it was the only name that ever, ever fit with Seth Williams—the only thing that made the name seem like our child-to-be instead of just words on a page. It was him. With the added bonus that my brother, Jordan, who we adore, is named Gabriel. (Seth was even due on his birthday! And we had picked out Seth Gabriel, with Jordan's permission, years before. Coincidence?! :)) Seth Gabriel was his name long before we met him.

Seth's miraculous circumstances made the name so incredibly meaningful to us. He truly is our comfort after loss. And, as the name Gabriel references, his strength is from God—he is a strong man (or boy :)) of God. We love and relate to how the angel Gabriel announced miraculous births, and brought peace and comfort to our hero: Mary.

Enter Maren...! She's named for Mary, the mother of Christ. We love Mary. We love the nativity story for its quiet simplicity, for its meekness. We adore Joseph, and we're endlessly fascinated by and in awe of him. What a family. What beauty, and kindness, and humble meekness. Besides Jesus Christ himself, there is no one in the scriptures we love more than Mary and Joseph.

But, per the aforementioned logic, Mary Williams just will not do. Haha! (As our friend, Amy, had said about another favorite name, Anne Williams: "She'd have to be really pretty to pull that one off!" Ha!) And so we turn to the Danish: Maren.

A side bonus is that Matt and I are both of Danish descent. I even have a couple Maren Rasmussens on my family tree—Rasmussen being a name that Matt and I both share, he from his mother, me from my mom's grandmother. (Don't worry. We're not related. :)) We were never ones to turn to the family tree for name inspiration, but it is kind of fun to see a Maren Rasmussen or two on there. And even though our kids are a gazillion times more British than Danish, it's fun to remember that ancestral line in her name.

Maren—or Mary—has a disputed meaning, but we like the meanings we find. We learned when we were Hebrew students that her name (Miriam) meant "bitter," referencing the bitterness of the death of her Son. His was a "bitter cup," which His mother shared in a way unique to the world. (Does it astound you that Christ came as a baby? And was born to a woman? That even God needed a mother...! It's a beautiful thing to ponder.) We love that Mary's name carried the mission of her Son, almost like it were hers, too. We love that Maren will carry a remembrance of His sacrifice in her name.

Mary may also mean "wished-for child." If ever there were a name appropriate for this baby!

It may also mean "beloved." Or it may mean "exalted," which we particularly like juxtaposed with "bitter"—for though He descended below all things, His sacrifice creates exaltation of all things. That a single word could mean both "bitter" and "exalted" is further testament to the reference it can be to Christ.

And as for Elise.... We were on a roll with the nativity names, so enter Elizabeth! Elise was the form of Elizabeth that we most loved with Maren. Elise was also on Matt's shortlist from the time we were married—since 2002. (I remember coming up with that name, too! Matt was cooking in our first apartment, and I was sitting on the couch doodling names, and he said that he had always loved the name Elise. This girl of ours has had this name for years!)

Maren gets to bear the names of two beautiful women from the world's best story—how the Love of God was made Man, how God cares for mothers!, and how miracles happen to bring babies to this earth. We have relied on the Lord to bring us our babies, too....

"Elise" references a covenant with God. We are so grateful for God's voice in our lives, and for the covenants we have made with Him. We know He is mindful of us—every moment, in every circumstance.

And so: two babies, three nativity names, four references to God's hand in their lives.

And nothing too boring.... ;-)